Quote Investigator® – Page 109

If I Call It Art, It’s Art; or If I Hang It in a Museum, It’s Art

Marcel Duchamp? Janet Malcolm? Raul Gamboa? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The artist provocateur Marcel Duchamp proclaimed that he could transform a prosaic object into an objet d’art worthy of display in a museum. He famously accomplished this feat with a urinal he dubbed “Fountain” in 1917. See the picture above. Would you please help me to find a quotation encapsulating his viewpoint?

Quote Investigator: In 1968 the Museum of Modern Art in New York City presented a show titled “Dada, Surrealism, and Their Heritage”. An article in “Newsweek” mentioned two works by Duchamp and included a remark from the creator. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1968 April 8, Newsweek, Dada at MOMA, Start Page 132, Quote Page 132, Column 2, Newsweek, New York. (Verified with scans)[/ref]

By exhibiting such things as an ordinary bottle rack, Marcel Duchamp revealed the surprising beauty hidden in simple objects. He inserted marble cubes, a cuttlebone and a thermometer into a birdcage and called the result “Why Not Sneeze?” “Everything in life is art,” says 81-year-old Duchamp. “If I call it art, it’s art; or if I hang it in a museum, it’s art.”

The phrasing suggested that the words were spoken to a “Newsweek” reporter by Duchamp at the time of the show in 1968.

Below are two additional selected citations.

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“Where Should One Use Perfume?” “Wherever One Wants To Be Kissed”

Coco Chanel? Arlene Dahl? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The brilliant fashion luminary Coco Chanel was once asked about the proper application of fragrance to the body, and she gave an entertaining reply about osculation. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared as a short item from a columnist in “The Boston Globe” of Massachusetts in 1962. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1962 December 27, The Boston Globe, Crossing the River Changed His Figure? by Joe Harrington, Quote Page 19, Column 4, Boston, Massachusetts. (ProQuest)[/ref]

MAKES A DIFFERENCE
“A woman should use perfume wherever she wants to be kissed” . . . Mlle. Chanel.

Marcel Haedrich, the editor in chief of a popular French women’s magazine called “Marie-Claire”, encouraged Chanel to use a tape recorder to describe her life story. In 1971 Haedrich published “Coco Chanel Secrète” based on Chanel’s recollections. The book included the following passage:[ref] 1971, Coco Chanel Secrète by Marcel Haedrich, Chapter 14: Sixième victoire: le « come-back », Quote Page 201, Éditions Robert Laffont, Paris. (Verified with scans)[/ref]

— Où faut-il se parfumer ? demanda une jeune femme.
— Là où vous voulez vous faire embrasser, répondit Coco.

« Ces journalistes américains sont des enfants, disait-elle, j’ai vu celte réponse cela m’a valu l’amitié des journalistes américains, je leur avais dit quelque chose qui faisait rire tout le monde ».

In 1972 an English translation appeared under the title “Coco Chanel: Her Life, Her Secrets”. The text above was rendered as follows:[ref] 1972, Coco Chanel: Her Life, Her Secrets by Marcel Haedrich, Translated from the French by Charles Lam Markmann, Chapter 14: The Sixth Victory: The Comeback, Quote Page 165, Little, Brown and Company, Boston, Massachusetts. (Verified with hardcopy)[/ref]

‘Where should one use perfume?’ a young woman asked.
‘Wherever one wants to be kissed,’ I said.

“Those American reporters are children. I saw this answer printed everywhere. It was a bore; but I think it earned me the friendship of the American reporters: I’d told them something that made everyone laugh.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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That Common Cold of the Male Psyche, Fear of Commitment

Richard Schickel? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The film historian and critic Richard Schickel asserted that men’s refusal to commit to relationships is as prevalent as the common cold. Would you please help me to find the exact phrasing and a citation?

Quote Investigator: In 1983 Richard Schickel reviewed the movie “Terms of Endearment” in “Time” magazine. The matriarch Aurora Greenway played by Shirley MacLaine eventually commenced a relationship with retired astronaut Garrett Breedlove played by Jack Nicholson. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1983 November 28, Time, Cinema: Sisters Under the Skin by Richard Schickel, Time Inc., New York. (Time magazine archive at content.time.com; accessed March 12, 2018)[/ref]

He has been living next door to Aurora for ten years before she hints that she might entertain a luncheon invitation from him. Five years later she actually accepts it. Thereupon a woman who once told an admirer not to worship her unless she deserved it plunges giddily into a relationship with a man she knows suffers that common cold of the male psyche, fear of commitment.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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It’s Not Quite True I Had Nothing On: The Radio Was On

Marilyn Monroe? Sheilah Graham? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Beauty icon Marilyn Monroe’s film career was jeopardized in the 1950s when scandal-mongers reported on her past as a risqué calendar model. Interestingly, her popularity and fame actually grew. When she was questioned about the calendar she responded with a clever and hilarious remark about a radio. Is this tale authentic or apocryphal?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in the gossip column of Sheilah Graham in June 1952. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1952 June 23, The Evening Star, Hollywood Diary by Sheilah Graham (North American Newspaper Alliance), Quote Page A13, Column 4, Washington D.C. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

A pompous visitor asked Marilyn Monroe at Niagara—“Is it true that when you posed for that famous calendar photograph, Miss Monroe, you had nothing on?” “No,” said our Marilyn, “I had the radio on.”

Monroe was one of the stars of the film “Niagara” which was filmed in 1952 and released in 1953. It is conceivable that this tale was crafted by a humorist on behalf of Monroe and her studio; the zinger was then given to Graham for publication. Nevertheless, Monroe definitely employed the quip when she was interviewed for a 1953 profile published in “Esquire” magazine as shown further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Information Wants To Be Expensive. Information Wants To Be Free

Stewart Brand? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Revenues in the recorded music industry and the advertiser-supported newspaper business have collapsed in the past twenty years. I am reminded of the following provocative remark:

Information wants to be free.

Apparently, this is only part of a larger quotation. Would you please explore the provenance of these words?

Quote Investigator: The influential publisher, editor, and writer Stewart Brand helped organize the first Hackers Conference in 1984. The list of attendees was based on Steven Levy’s recently released book “Hackers: Heroes of the Computer Revolution”.

In this time period the development of commercial programs for personal computers faced the problem of unauthorized copying which was reducing income. One response was experimentation with new business models such as freeware and shareware. The word processor PC-Write and the communications program PC-TALK were distributed using these models which attempted to elicit voluntary payments.

During a panel discussion Brand employed the rhetorical technique of personification by granting the abstract term “information” dual contradictory desires. He asserted that “information” wished to be both expensive and free. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1985 May, Whole Earth Review, ‘Keep designing’; how the information economy is being created and shaped by the hacker ethic by Stewart Brand and Matt Herron, (Discussions from the Hackers’ Conference, November 1984), Start Page 44, Point Foundation, San Francisco. (Academic OneFile Gale)[/ref]

STEWART BRAND: It seems like there’s a couple of interesting paradoxes that we’re working here. That’s why I’m especially interested in what Bob Wallace has done with PC-WRITE and what Andrew Fluegelman did before that with PC-TALK. On the one hand information wants to be expensive, because it’s so valuable. The right information in the right place just changes your life. On the other hand, information wants to be free, because the cost of getting it out is getting lower and lower all the time. So you have these two fighting against each other.

The passage above appeared in Brand’s magazine “Whole Earth Review” in May 1985 although the words were spoken in November 1984. Brand articulated a nuanced modern conundrum, and the phrase “Information wants to be free” by itself is an amputated distortion of his viewpoint.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Those Who Are Good at Making Excuses Are Seldom Good at Anything Else

Benjamin Franklin? Theodore Edward Hook? Maria Edgeworth? Arthur Wellesley? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The statesman Benjamin Franklin is often credited with the following aphorism. Here are two versions:

A person good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
A man who is good at making excuses is good for nothing else.

I have never seen a precise citation which makes me suspicious. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: Benjamin Franklin died in 1790, and the earliest two pertinent citations located by QI appeared in 1809. The book “Liber Facetiarum: Being a Collection of Curious and Interesting Anecdotes” included a tale ascribing the nugget of wisdom to Franklin:[ref] 1809, Liber Facetiarum: Being a Collection of Curious and Interesting Anecdotes, Quote Page 182, Printed by and for D. Akenhead and Sons, Newcastle Upon Tyne, England. (HathiTrust Full View) link [/ref]

A young American having broken an appointment with Dr Franklin, came to him the following day, and made a very handsome apology for his absence: He was proceeding, when the doctor stopped him with, “My good boy, say no more, you have said too much already; for the man who is good at making an excuse, is seldom good at any thing else.
Anecdotes of D. F.

Also, in 1809 the text of Theodore Edward Hook’s work titled “Safe and Sound: An Opera in Three Acts” was published in London. A character delivered the line while criticizing another character:[ref] 1810 (1809 London Edition), The English and American Stage, Volume 34, Safe and Sound: An Opera in Three Acts by Theodore Edward Hook, Performed at The Lyceum Theatre in London, Start Page 2, Quote Page 40, Published by D. Longworth, New York. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

Lind: I assure you I did not mean——

Baron. Make no excuse—a man who is good at making excuses is seldom good at any thing else. Here come the guards—get away—get away.

Lind. Generous man

QI is unable to judge the reliability of the anecdote. Whether the opera influenced the composition of the anecdote or vice versa also remains unclear. Perhaps future researchers will identify earlier citations.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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So What? I Paint Fakes, Too

Pablo Picasso? Leonard Lyons? Daniel-Henry Kahnweiler? Arthur Koestler? Marshall McLuhan? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The most fascinating anecdote about authenticity that I have ever heard features Pablo Picasso repudiating a painting that he apparently created. Are you familiar with this tale? Would you please explore its provenance?

Quote Investigator: The earliest occurrence of this anecdote located by QI appeared in the popular syndicated column of Leonard Lyons in 1957. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1957 February 22, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Picasso Can ‘Paint Fakes, Too’ by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 27, Column 1 and 2, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

One of Picasso’s friends asked him to look at a picture he’d bought: “Is this a genuine Picasso?” The painter examined it and said, “No, it’s a fake.” The friend was crestfallen, then said: “Oh, well, I have this other one — a genuine Picasso.” The artist looked at the second picture and said: “That’s a fake, too” . . .”But that’s impossible,” said the friend, bewildered. “I saw you paint it myself”. . .“So what?” Picasso shrugged. “I paint fakes, too.”

Lyons did not identify the confused individual in this article, but ten years later in 1967 Lyons revisited the topic and pointed to Picasso’s art dealer Daniel-Henry Kahnweiler as the owner of the disavowed painting.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Every Successful Revolution Puts On In Time the Robes of the Tyrant It Has Deposed

Barbara W. Tuchman? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The popular historian Barbara W. Tuchman said that a successful revolution eventually reinstates the tyrannical behavior that precipitated the initial rebellion. I do not recall the precise wording she used. Would you please help me to find this quotation?

Quote Investigator: In 1971 Barbara W. Tuchman published “Stilwell and the American Experience in China: 1911-45” which included the following passage. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1971, Stilwell and the American Experience in China: 1911-45 by Barbara W. Tuchman (Barbara Wertheim Tuchman), Chapter 8: Military Attaché: Sino-Japanese War, 1937-39, Quote Page 184 and 185, The Macmillan Company, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)[/ref]

The fervor of the Kuomintang’s youth had passed to the Communists leaving Chungking with history’s most melancholy tale: that every successful revolution puts on in time the robes of the tyrant it has deposed.

Below are three additional selected citations.

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We Have Passed a Lot of Water Since Then

Samuel Goldwyn? Solomon S. Levadi? Ezra Goodman? Norton Mockridge? Michael Curtiz? Mickey Rooney? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: When reminiscing about events from the nostalgia-tinged past the following figurative phrase is popular:

Much water has flowed under the bridge since then.

The famous movie producer Samuel Goldwyn reportedly employed an unintentionally comical variant:

We have passed a lot of water since then.

Passing water is a euphemism for urination. The numerous speech errors assigned to Goldwyn are called Goldwynisms. Is this one authentic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence of this word-play located by QI appeared in a 1942 private letter from U.S. soldier Solomon S. Levadi who was sent to Australia during WWII. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1945, Jewish Youth at War: Letters from American Soldiers, Edited by Isaac E. Rontch, Letter title: “Thresholds”, Location: Somewhere in Australia, Letter author: Captain Solomon S. Levadi, Letter date: September 16, 1942, Quote Page 122, Marstin Press, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)[/ref]

Dear Isaac: A lot of water has passed since I wrote you last from Fort Sill, and so have I since passed a lot of water. I’m in Australia now—where North is South and South is North; where the trees shed their bark instead of their leaves . . .

In the passage above the humor was deliberate, but the following citation described an inadvertent quip. In 1961 the publicist and journalist Ezra Goodman published a critical book about the entertainment business titled “The Fifty-Year Decline and Fall of Hollywood”. Goodman asserted that he heard the remark directly from Goldwyn:[ref] 1961, The Fifty-Year Decline and Fall of Hollywood by Ezra Goodman, Chapter 5: The Great Brain Robbery, Quote Page 178, Simon and Schuster, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)[/ref]

Goldwyn claims that the Goldwynisms are the inventions of columnists, and says, “Some of them were very good and I wish I could take credit for them.” And still I have personally heard him utter some rather choice ones. Speaking of the old days, he once said, “We have passed a lot of water since then.”

The evidence linking the saying to Goldwyn is mixed. He died in 1974; hence, he was alive when Goodman’s book appeared. Yet, Goldwyn asserted that he “never said it” according to Peter Bart who was the long-time editor in chief of “Variety”. In addition, the remark has been ascribed to the prominent Hollywood director Michael Curtiz. Detailed citations are given below in chronological order.

Continue reading “We Have Passed a Lot of Water Since Then”

That’s the Moose’s Problem

Robert Heinlein? Emma D. E. N. Southworth? Wilfrid S. Bronson? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Science fiction luminary Robert Heinlein employed the following phrase in two of his novels:

That’s the moose’s problem.

The phrase seems to mean:

That problem should be dealt with by someone else.

Would you please explore the origin of this expression?

Quote Investigator: A class of jokes has a punchline of the following type:

That is the moose’s problem.
That is the deer’s problem.
That was the moose’s business.

QI conjectures that Heinlein was alluding to these jokes. The earliest instance of the gag located by QI appeared in the 1872 novel “A Noble Lord” by Emma D. E. N. Southworth. A braggart named Colonel Brierly was spinning an exaggerated tale about a land he had visited. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1872, A Noble Lord by Mrs. Emma D. E. N. Southworth (Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte Southworth), Chapter 7: The Detective, Quote Pages 81 and 82, T. B. Peterson & Brothers, Philadelphia. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

Magnificent game! I tell you, sir, I have seen forests of titanic oaks, whose boles were yards in circumference, standing scarcely three feet apart, and with their limbs and twigs so interlocked and interwoven as to form an impenetrable green thicket! Yes, sir! And I have seen bounding through these forests magnificent deer, sir!—majestic creatures six feet high, whose splendid antlers branched ten feet apart! Yes, sir!” exclaimed the Colonel, glancing around the table.

The reaction of a character named Captain Faulkner made his skepticism obvious, and Brierly became angry enough to demand that Faulkner state his criticisms:

“Oh well, if you must know,” coolly returned the Captain, “I was but wondering how the deuce those majestic deer, with antlers branching ten feet wide, managed to bound through those magnificent forests where the titanic oak trees stand but three feet apart.”

For a moment the Colonel was dumbfounded, and then he exclaimed:
“By Jupiter, sir, that was their business – not mine, or yours!”
A laugh at this retort went round the table.

After this exchange Colonel Brierly became the enemy of Captain Faulkner, and eventually the two fought a deadly duel with Brierly as the victor.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “That’s the Moose’s Problem”