Quote Investigator® – Page 13

Quote Origin: I Require Only Three Things of a Man. He Must Be Handsome, Ruthless, and Stupid

Dorothy Parker? John Keats? Richard L. Jenkins? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent witty woman once described three qualities she desired in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. This viewpoint has been ascribed to poet and critic Dorothy Parker. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Dorothy Parker died in 1967. The earliest match for this expression known to QI appeared in the 1970 biography “You Might as Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker” by John Keats. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

She decided to give life another chance. “Into love and out again/Thus I went and thus I go,” she said, and so it was with her. She would give love another chance, too, but this time on her own terms.

“I require only three things of a man,” she said. “He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”

The first quotation above concerning love is from the eight-line poem “Theory” which appeared in Parker’s 1928 collection “Sunset Gun”.²

The second quotation about Parker’s three requirements has not been antedated, and John Keats did not provide a citation. Nevertheless, researchers find the attribution credible.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: She is Happy, For She Knows That Her Dust Is Very Pretty

Dorothy Parker? Franklin Pierce Adams? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The notable wit Dorothy Parker constructed several epitaphs. I am interested in the following:

She is happy, for she knows
That her dust is very pretty.

This topic is confusing because I’ve also seen a different version of these lines:

She is happy, for she knows
That her dust is very charming.

Did Parker craft either of these? Does either appear on her headstone?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has examined several other epitaphs that have been attributed to Dorothy Parker. Here is a link to a webpage with pointers to the separate analyses.

Dorothy Parker died in 1967. Her last will and testament did not specify where she wished her remains to rest. Her parents and grandparents were buried in Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx. In 2021 living family members in conjunction with fans and supporters agreed to place Parker’s ashes in Woodlawn Cemetery and to install a headstone. The marker was inscribed with her name, her birth year, her death year, and an epigraph.¹

The four line verse on the monument was selected by Parker’s relatives and supporters. The words originally appeared as the final stanza of Parker’s poem “Epitaph for a Darling Lady” which was published in her 1926 collection “Enough Rope”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

Epitaph for a Darling Lady

All her hours were yellow sands,
Blown in foolish whorls and tassels
Slipping warmly through her hands;
Patted into little castles.

Shiny day on shiny day
Tumble in a rainbow clutter,
As she flipped them all away.
Sent them spinning down the gutter.

Leave for her a red young rose.
Go your way, and save your pity;
She is happy, for she knows
That her dust is very pretty.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Nothing Is More Impotent Than an Unread Library

John Waters? Austin Kleon? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Building a library is an enjoyable lifelong pursuit. Intellectually engaged people are often bibliomaniacs. Yet, many acquired volumes are never read. This behavior has been condemned and praised in two radically different statements that differ by a single word:

(1) Nothing is more impotent than an unread library.
(2) Nothing is more important than an unread library.

Remarkably, both of these comments have been attributed to the transgressive filmmaker John Waters. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2010 John Waters published “Role Models” which contained the following passage. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

Being rich is not about how much money you have or how many homes you own; it’s the freedom to buy any book you want without looking at the price and wondering if you can afford it. Of course, you have to read the books, too. Nothing is more impotent than an unread library.

John Waters did not employ the variant statement with the word “important”. It was mistakenly credited to Waters in a 2012 book mentioned further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Whoever Controls the Media, Controls the Mind

Jim Morrison? Andrew Doe? John Tobler? Francis E. Walter? Philip F. Pocock? E. S. James? Frank Lisciandro? Apocryphal

Question for Quote Investigator: The activities of rock-n-roll star Jim Morrison received extensive newspaper and television coverage in the 1960s. He was alternately praised and condemned in the mass media. Apparently, he once stated:

Whoever controls the media, controls the mind.

Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Jim Morrison was the charismatic lead vocalist of the band “The Doors”. The music journalists Andrew Doe and John Tobler published a compilation of quotations from band members titled “In Their Own Words: The Doors” in 1988. The authors credited Morrison with the quotation under examination. The concise label “Jim” preceded the quotation. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Jim “Whoever controls the media, controls the mind.” (1969)

Morrison died in 1971. Doe and Tobler did not provide a precise citation to support the date of 1969. QI believes that the attribution is plausible, but QI has not yet located direct evidence in 1969.

Interestingly, Morrison was not the first to express this notion using the same keywords “control”, “media”, and “mind”. U.S. Congressman Francis E. Walter of Pennsylvania, Chair of the House Un-American Activities Committee used an instance during a speech in July 1956 as reported in “The Tablet: A Catholic Weekly” of Brooklyn, New York:²

“The Communists know that movie screens and television channels are weapons of far greater potential power than any of the nuclear devices whose secrets we guard so jealously.

“Control of the media of communication and information means the control of the mind, and for the Communists this would mean a victory of far greater importance than victory on a dozen battlefields of war.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: That’s All Any of Us Are: Amateurs. We Don’t Live Long Enough To Be Anything Else

Charlie Chaplin? Nigel Bruce? Claire Bloom? Austin Kleon? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Before performing a new show or displaying a novel artwork it is natural to feel fear. Perhaps the audience will condemn you as an amateur. A famous comic actor crafted a brilliant remark about amateurism. It went something like this: Everyone is an amateur because life is not long enough to become anything else.

Charlie Chaplin has received credit for this insight. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Charlie Chaplin created the story and screenplay of the 1952 movie “Limelight”. He played the starring role of a fading comedian named Calvero. An impresario decided to produce a gala benefit to honor Calvero. Many popular entertainers agreed to appear in the show. The following dialog between Calvero and the promoter occurred in the dressing room before the event. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Postant (Nigel Bruce): Every star in the business is appearing.
Calvero (Charles Chaplin): It’ll be something following all this talent.
Postant (Nigel Bruce): Don’t you worry. Tonight you’re gonna make them all look like a bunch of amateurs.
Calvero (Charles Chaplin): That’s all any of us are: amateurs. We don’t live long enough to be anything else.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Maxim Origin: The Medium Is the Message

Marshall McLuhan? Ashley Montagu? Edmund Carpenter? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Canadian communications theorist Marshall McLuhan contemplated the influences of different types of media on human thought and behavior. He said that television was a cool medium because it was high in participation, whereas radio was a hot medium with low participation. He formulated the adage:

The medium is the message.

Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in a conference titled “Radio in the Future of Canada” held in Vancouver, Canada in May 1958. Marshall McLuhan’s speech contained two versions of the saying. The first instance used the plural words “media” and “messages”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The media are the messages, they are not conveyor belts of messages. In the long run it is radio that is the message, and not what a radio program content happens to be at any given day, or year. In the long run, it is photography that is the meaning and the message, not the picture of somebody or something.

The second instance of the saying in McLuhan’s’ speech matched the popular version of the expression:

Print, by permitting people to read at high speed and, above all, to read alone and silently, developed a totally new set of mental operations. What I mentioned earlier becomes very relevant here: the medium is the message. The medium of print is the message, more than any individual writer could say.

Thanks to Andrew McLuhan, the grandson of Marshall McLuhan, who told QI about the citation presented above.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Art Is Anything You Can Get Away With

Marshall McLuhan? Quentin Fiore? Frank Richardson? Terence Trent D’Arby? Theodor W. Adorno?

Question for Quote Investigator: In 2019 the Italian conceptual artist and provocateur Maurizio Cattelan used duct tape to attach a banana to the wall of an art gallery. He dubbed the resultant artwork “Comedian”.

After Cattelan sold the quasi-sculpture for a lucrative price he was sued by another artist who had previously taped a banana and an orange to a green background. The presiding judge was inspired to mention a humorous definition of art from the 1960s:

Art is anything you can get away with.

The judge credited Canadian communications theorist Marshall McLuhan with this definition. Would you please explore the provenance of this remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match located by QI appeared in the 1967 book “The Medium is the Massage” by Marshall McLuhan and graphic designer Quentin Fiore. The quotation was spread across five pages. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Art is anything you can get away with.

The photographs accompanying the statement showed a massive sculpture:

“The biggest and best woman in the world,” an 82-foot-long, 20-foot-high sculpture, in Moderna Museet, Stockholm. You can walk around in her.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: You Are the Average of the Five People You Spend the Most Time With

Will Smith? Jim Rohn? Tim Ferriss? Jack Canfield? Janet Switzer? Daniel G. Amen? Loral Langemeier? Keith Cunningham? Ty Talcott? Scott Elliott? Paula Owens? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: You are deeply influenced by the actions and behaviors of your friends and companions. You consciously and unconsciously imitate what you perceive in your local environment. The following adage encapsulates this viewpoint. Here are four versions:

(1) You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
(2) Your life is going to be a reflection of the five people that you spend the most time with.
(3) You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.
(4) We become the combined average of the five people we hang around the most.

Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match located by QI appeared in the 2005 book “The Success Principles” by Jack Canfield with Janet Switzer. Canfield is best known for co-creating the best-selling self-help series “Chicken Soup for the Soul”. The saying appeared as a chapter epigraph crediting entrepreneur and motivational author Jim Rohn. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
JIM ROHN
Self-made millionaire and successful author

The statement attributed to Rohn followed a circuitous route:

When Tim Ferriss was 12 years old, an unidentified caller left the above Jim Rohn quote on his answering machine. It changed his life forever. For days, he couldn’t get the idea out of his mind. At only 12 years of age, Tim recognized that the kids he was hanging out with were not the ones he wanted influencing his future.

Thus, a lengthy chain produced the attribution. Canfield learned of the saying from Ferriss who heard the saying from an unidentified person who credited Rohn.

Tim Ferriss was born in 1977, and he is best known for the self-help book “The 4-Hour Workweek”. Ferriss heard the quotation circa 1989 when he was 12 years old. QI tentatively credits Rohn with the saying although the current evidence is weak, and QI believes the saying evolved over time.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Whoever Named It Necking Was a Poor Judge of Anatomy

Groucho Marx? Robert Quillen? Robert O. Ryder? Dorothy Uris? Evan Esar? Agro B. Arlo? Laurence J. Peter? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The informal term “necking” refers to kissing and caressing amorously. A comedian once said:

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Do you know who crafted this joke? Was it Groucho Marx?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The 1968 collection “20,000 Quips and Quotes” compiled by Evan Esar attributed this quip to the well-known comedian, movie star, and television personality Groucho Marx. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
—Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx (Julius Henry Marx) died in 1977. Thus, he was linked to the quip while he was still alive. However, humorist Robert Quillen published a matching joke in 1943. Also, precursors occurred in the 1920s and 1930s.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Life Is Thick Sown with Thorns, and I Know No Other Remedy Than To Pass Quickly Through Them

Voltaire? Louis Mayeul Chaudon? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous French writer Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet) apparently said something like: Life is bristling with thorns. One must travel through them quickly to minimize the pain and harm. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Voltaire died in 1778, and Louis Mayeul Chaudon published a biographical work in 1785. The anecdote section included the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

« La vie est hérissée d’épines, ( disoit Voltaire ) ; & je ne sçais d’autre remède, que de passer vite à travers ces broussailles. C’est donner de la consistance aux maux, que de trop s’y arrêter. »

In 1786 Chaudon’s work was translated and published under the title “Historical and Critical Memoirs of the Life and Writings of M. de Voltaire”. The text above was rendered as follows:²

Life, said Voltaire, is thick sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.

Thus, this quotation did not appear in Voltaire’s writings; instead, it appeared in a biographical work printed posthumously. Its authenticity is dependent upon the care and diligence of Louis Mayeul Chaudon.

Below are additional selected citations.