A Man Is a Fool If He Drinks Before He Reaches Fifty, and a Fool If He Doesn’t Drink Afterward

Frank Lloyd Wright? William Faulkner? The Elder Gross? Charles Seiberling? Charles Douville Coburn? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The celebrated and innovative architect Frank Lloyd Wright is credited with the following remark about alcohol consumption:

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn’t afterward.

Recently, I found a very similar saying attributed to the major literary figure William Faulkner:

But a man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damnfool if he doesn’t.

Are these quotations accurate? Is it possible that one of these individuals heard it from the other? Perhaps this saying predates Wright and Faulkner. Could you explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The quotations ascribed to Frank Lloyd Wright and William Faulkner are well-founded and detailed citations for them are given further below.

The idea that drinking in the early decades of life might attenuate its long-term pleasurability can be found in the eighteenth century. Here is an example in a Salem, Massachusetts newspaper in 1792 where the age of demarcation was thirty. Boldface has been added to some excerpts:[ref] 1792 September 11, Salem Gazette, Volume VI, Number 309, An Extract, Quote Page 4, Column 1, Salem, Massachusetts. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Do you think that singing boys take great delight in music? Satiety makes it rather tedious to them. He who drinks before he is thirty, can take no great pleasure in drinking.

By 1900 a statement matching the sayings used by Wright and Faulkner was in circulation. The guideline was offered as medical advice during the Annual Meeting of the American Social Science Association:[ref] 1900 December, Journal of Social Science, Number 38, Proceedings of the Annual Meeting of the American Social Science Association Held in Washington, D.C. on May 7 to May 11, 1900, (Comments at the close of the morning session of the Department of Education and Art on May 9, 1900), Start Page 125, Quote Page 127 and 128, Published for the American Social Science Association by Damrell & Upham and the Boston Book Company, Boston, Massachusetts and G. P. Putnam’s Sons, New York. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

The best judges of the proper use or abuse of alcohol are medical men, who carefully note causes and effect. I would rather have personally observed facts than whole tomes of theories. In youth alcohol is of no benefit: it is harmful. In the aged it is a blessing, if used properly. Some one has said, “A man is a fool who drinks before he is fifty, and a blank fool who does not do so moderately thereafter.” Whiskey should be taken by the aged when overcome with fatigue and before taking food, as a tired man has a tired stomach; and a small portion of the stimulant will lift up the vitality and make good digestion possible.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Amateurs Practice Until They Get It Right; Professionals Practice Until They Can’t Get It Wrong

George W. Loomis? Percy C. Buck? Harold Craxton? Julie Andrews? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The creator of the following insightful saying was listed as unknown:

Don’t practice until you get it right. Practice until you can’t get it wrong.

While searching for background information I came across this interesting variation:

Amateurs practice till they get it right; professionals practice till they can’t get it wrong.

Could you find out more about this modern dictum?

Quote Investigator: Because this adage can be expressed in many ways it is difficult to trace. The earliest evidence located by QI was in the domain of education in 1902. A school superintendent named George W. Loomis whose talk was recorded in the “Michigan School Moderator” discussed the best way to teach students to spell properly and employed a precursor of the modern proverb. Boldface has been added to some excerpts below:[ref] 1902 March 20, Michigan School Moderator (The Moderator), Editor Henry R. Pattengill, Volume 22, Spelling, (Footnote describes article: A talk to the critic teachers of the Central State Normal Training School by George W. Loomis, Superintendent), Quote Page 432, Column 1, Lansing, Michigan. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

It must be admitted that spelling is not taught successfully; indeed, the difficulty lies in the fact that it is seldom taught at all. Spelling lessons are assigned, studied, recited, but not taught. Much of the time spent in hearing children recite—guess till they get it right—should be spent in a definite teaching process, until they can not get it wrong.

In 1922 the distinctive second half of the expression was used in an educational book titled “Swimming and Diving”:[ref] 1922, Swimming and Diving by Gerald Barnes, Quote Page 37, Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

This coordination of arms and legs is perhaps the most difficult as well as the most important thing about the breast stroke. After each element has been mastered separately, practice the combination on land until you cannot get it wrong.

In 1944 a full version of the adage appeared in the volume “Psychology for Musicians” by Percy C. Buck who was an organist and a prominent Professor of Music at the University of London. This popular book was reprinted several times in the succeeding decades. Buck did not take credit for the saying which was presented as an anonymous definition:[ref] 1944, Psychology for Musicians by Percy C. Buck, Quote Page 102, Geoffrey Cumberlege: Oxford University Press, London. (Fourth Impression 1946) (Note about date: QI believes that the quotation appeared in the 1944 edition, but currently QI has only examined a 1946 impression. Author Percy C. Buck died in 1947, and the front matter does not list any other authors. It also does not mention any revisions to the first edition in 1944.)(Verified on paper) [/ref][ref] 1944, Psychology for Musicians by Percy C. Buck, Quote Page 102, Oxford University Press, London. (Tenth Impression 1967)(Verified on paper) [/ref]

What is the real difference between a professional and an amateur? Does not your mind immediately turn to the shallow explanation of money-payments? Two definitions have been made which may help you to think deeper than that:

“An amateur can be satisfied with knowing a fact; a professional must know the reason why.”

“An amateur practises until he can do a thing right, a professional until he can’t do it wrong.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Amateurs Practice Until They Get It Right; Professionals Practice Until They Can’t Get It Wrong”

If the Bee Disappeared Off the Face of the Earth, Man Would Only Have Four Years Left To Live

Albert Einstein? Charles Darwin? Maurice Maeterlinck? E. O. Wilson? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A dramatic quotation about the dangers of environmental upheaval is attributed to the brilliant physicist Albert Einstein. Here are two versions:

If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.

If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live

Some commentators are skeptical about this ascription. Could you examine this expression?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Einstein ever made a remark of this type about bees. Alice Calaprice, the editor of the important collection “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein”, placed the saying in the “Probably Not by Einstein” section of her reference.[ref] 2010, The Ultimate Quotable Einstein, Edited by Alice Calaprice, Section: Probably Not by Einstein, Page 479, Princeton University Press, Princeton, New Jersey. (Verified on paper) [/ref]

The earliest evidence known to QI of a connection between Einstein and disastrous environmental scenarios caused by the disappearance of bees was published in the “Canadian Bee Journal” in 1941:[ref] 1941 January, Canadian Bee Journal, Volume 49, Number 1, Comments From Quebec by Ernest A. Fortin, Start Page 12, Quote Page 13, Publisher: J. and M. Atkinson, St. Catharines, Ontario. (Verified with scans; Great thanks to Terry Garey and Dennis Lien and the University of Minnesota library system)[/ref]

If I remember well, it was Einstein who said: “Remove the bee from the earth and at the same stroke you remove at least one hundred thousand plants that will not survive.”

QI has located no supporting evidence that Einstein made the remark above. Instead, QI has determined that a statement of this type was made by the major literary figure Maurice Maeterlinck in his work “The Life of the Bee” in 1901. The saying was widely disseminated in the decades afterwards.

In May 1965 a French periodical about nature and animals called “La Vie des Bêtes et l’Ami des Bêtes” stated that Einstein had calculated a grim four year time limit for humanity if bees disappeared. This was the earliest evidence known to QI of a connection between Einstein who died in 1955 and the dire deadline. Details are given further below.

Below is a selected chronological sequence of citations that attempt to roughly outline the evolution of this expression and its conceptual formation. Because this task is difficult and the available information is fragmentary this entry is lengthy. QI is indebted to the pioneering research of Bonnie Taylor-Blake and Ray Girvan who explored this topic and located many important citations including the two given previously.

Continue reading “If the Bee Disappeared Off the Face of the Earth, Man Would Only Have Four Years Left To Live”

Every Time I Smell It, I Shall Be Reminded of You

Oscar Wilde? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: I saw an article on the web about brilliant repartee that listed the “Top 10 Best Comebacks”. One of the response lines was from the famous wit Oscar Wilde who addressed an audience from the stage after the performance of a play he had written. The acclamation for his work was great, but it was not universal. One unhappy and agitated person threw a bouquet with a rotten cabbage at the playwright. Wilde reportedly picked up the bouquet and without hesitation delivered the following riposte:

Thank you my friend. Every time I smell it, I shall be reminded of you.

I have been unable to find solid support for this entertaining story. Could you explore this anecdote?

Quote Investigator: QI believes that this tale is inaccurate; however, it was created by modifying and embellishing an incident that did occur on the opening night of Wilde’s play “The Importance of Being Earnest”. One version of the fictionalized story was depicted in the 1960 film “The Trials of Oscar Wilde”. This movie popularized the tale of a caustic encounter, and the screenwriters may have even concocted the clever riposte.

The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in an undated letter sent by Oscar Wilde to Lord Alfred Douglas who was the son of Lord Queensberry. The person attempting to insult and humiliate Wilde was Lord Queensberry, and in Wilde’s letter he was referred to as “the Scarlet Marquis”:[ref] 1920, The Oscar Wilde Collection of John B. Stetson, Jr., (To be sold April 23), Twenty-Five Letters to Lord Alfred Douglas from Oscar Wilde, (First offered at auction as one lot), Letter number 304, No date, (Excerpt is from the description of letter), Quote Page 56, The Anderson Galleries, [Mitchell Kennerley, President], New York. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

Yes! the Scarlet Marquis made a plot to address the audience on the first night of my play !! Algy Burke revealed it and he was not allowed to enter. He left a grotesque bouquet of vegetables for me! This of course makes his conduct idiotic—robs it of dignity.

In this version of the tale the bouquet was not given directly to Wilde, and he did not speak to Lord Queensberry.

Oscar Wilde died in 1900, and the next published evidence known to QI appeared in the 1914 book “Oscar Wilde and Myself” by Lord Alfred Douglas:[ref] 1914, Oscar Wilde and Myself by Lord Alfred Douglas, Quote Page 76 and 81, Duffield & Company, New York. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

Failing to make disruption between myself and Wilde, Lord Queensberry adopted a different line of tactics; and, I believe, with the sincere view of saving me from what he knew was an undesirable entanglement, he went ahead to disgrace Wilde publicly. At a theatre where one of Wilde’s plays was running he caused a bouquet of carrots to be handed up to Wilde over the footlights, and he left his card on him at his club with certain odious remarks written on the back of it.

In this version the bouquet was composed of carrots, and it was not thrown. No jocular retort from Wilde was reported by Douglas.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Every Time I Smell It, I Shall Be Reminded of You”

Continuous Effort — Not Strength or Intelligence — Is the Key to Unlocking and Using Our Potential

Winston Churchill? Liane Cordes? Liane Cardes? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: On two popular websites with large collections of quotations I found an appealing statement ascribed to the famous statesman Winston Churchill:

Continuous effort — not strength or intelligence — is the key to unlocking our potential.

No citations were provided, and I have been unable to determine when this was written or said by Churchill. Is this an accurate quotation and attribution?

Quote Investigator: No. This saying is not listed in the key reference “Churchill by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations”,[ref] 2008, Churchill by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations, Edited by Richard Langworth, PublicAffairs, New York. [/ref] and there is no substantive support connecting the words to Churchill.

The earliest evidence located by QI of a version of this saying was printed in the 1981 book “The Reflecting Pond: Meditations for Self-Discovery” by Liane Cordes:[ref] 1981, The Reflecting Pond: Meditations for Self-Discovery by Liane Cordes, Quote Page 89, Hazelden Publishing, Center City, Minnesota. (Google Books Preview)[/ref]

Continuous effort — not strength or intelligence — is the key to unlocking and using our potential.

This work was from the publishing arm of the Hazelden organization, and the website of this group presented the following goal:[ref] Website: Hazelden, Article title: Hazelden Publishing, Date on website: No date listed, Website description of organization: “Hazelden helps individuals, families, and communities struggling with alcohol abuse, substance abuse, and drug addiction transform their lives”. (Accessed hazelden.org on August 21, 2013) link [/ref]

The mission of Hazelden Publishing is to provide products and services to help people recognize, understand, and overcome addiction and closely related problems.

In 1986 a version of the saying was included in a compilation titled “Fitzhenry & Whiteside Book of Quotations”; however, the quotation was slightly modified by the deletion of two words. In addition, the ascription was shifted from “Liane Cordes” to “Liane Cardes”. QI believes this was probably due to a simple spelling error:[ref] 1986, The Fitzhenry & Whiteside Book of Quotations, Revised and Enlarged, Edited by Robert I. Fitzhenry, Section: Fate and Destiny, Quote Page 127, Fitzhenry & Whiteside Limited, Toronto. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

Continuous effort — not strength or intelligence — is the key to unlocking our potential.
Liane Cardes

In 1987 this reference work was re-released as the “Barnes & Noble Book of Quotations”, and the same saying and ascription were included in the volume.[ref] 1987, Barnes & Noble Book of Quotations: Revised and Enlarged, Edited by Robert I. Fitzhenry, Section: Fate and Destiny, Quote Page 127, Barnes & Noble Books, Division of Harper & Row, New York. (Verified on paper) [/ref]

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Continuous Effort — Not Strength or Intelligence — Is the Key to Unlocking and Using Our Potential”

Is That a Gun in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?

Mae West? Aristophanes? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Screenwriter and sex symbol Mae West is usually credited with the following ribald line:

Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

But I have seen many variations of this comical remark:

  1. Is that your pipe in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
  2. Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  3. Are you packin’ a rod or are you just glad to see me?
  4. Is that your sword or are you just glad to see me?

Can you determine which joke is the original and when it was spoken or written?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI was in a 1958 book about a New York theatre producer titled “The Nine Lives of Michael Todd” by Art Cohn. In 1944 the play “Catherine Was Great” which was produced by Todd and starred Mae West opened on Broadway. Cohn stated that West improvised the humorous line of dialog when she was interacting with her fellow star Gene Barry:[ref] 1958, The Nine Lives of Michael Todd by Art Cohn, Quote Page 193, Random House, New York. (Verified with scans)[/ref]

Barry, playing Lieutenant Bunin, was unaccustomed to carrying a sword, and in the second act, during an embrace, his scabbard came between him and his Empress.

A covert smile stole over Mae’s face. “Lieutenant,” she ad-libbed with a Westian leer, “is that your sword or are you just glad to see me?”

There is some confusion about whether a version of this quip was used by Mae West in a movie during the 1930s or 1940s. Top quotation expert Fred R. Shapiro writing in The Yale Book of Quotations states that the line was not used by West in her early films:[ref] 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Section Mae West, Page 809, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

Often ascribed to West’s film She Done Him Wrong, but the line does not appear in that or any of her other pre-1967 movies.

West claimed in remarks published in the 1980s that she employed the saying in the 1930s while speaking with a policeman. In addition, West did utter the saying in the 1978 film Sextette which was based on a play she wrote. Details for these citations are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Is That a Gun in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?”

Academic Politics Are So Vicious Because the Stakes Are So Small

Henry Kissinger? Wallace Sayre? Charles Frankel? Samuel Johnson? Jesse Unruh? Courtney Brown? Laurence J. Peter?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following saying is often attributed to the prominent U.S. foreign policy figure and Nobel laureate Henry Kissinger:

Academic politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

But I have also seen it attributed to the political scientist Wallace Sayre. Could you examine this adage?

Quote Investigator: There are many different ways to state this basic idea. Here are some additional forms to help depict the range of possible expressions:

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Politics on the university campus are the worst of all kinds of politics because the stakes are so small.

Campus politics are so nasty because the stakes are so small.

The republic of learning and letters works by especially bitter squabbling because the stakes are so small.

This exploration begins with a fascinating precursor in 1765 from the pen of the lexicographer and celebrated man of letters Samuel Johnson. In the following excerpt a “scholiast” referred to an academic commentator:[ref] 1765, Mr. Johnson’s Preface to His Edition of Shakespear’s Plays by Samuel Johnson, Page lvii, Printed for J. and R. Tonson, H. Woodfall, J. Rivington, etc., London. (Google Books full view) link [/ref][ref] 1997, After the Death of Literature by Richard B. Schwartz, Quote Page 12 and 13, Published by Southern Illinois University Press, Carbondale, Illinois. (Questia: Gale, Cengage Learning)[/ref]

It is not easy to discover from what cause the acrimony of a scholiast can naturally proceed. The subjects to be discussed by him are of very small importance; they involve neither property nor liberty; nor favour the interest of sect or party. The various readings of copies, and different interpretations of a passage, seem to be questions that might exercise the wit, without engaging the passions.

But whether it be, that small things make mean men proud, and vanity catches small occasions; or that all contrariety of opinion, even in those that can defend it no longer, makes proud men angry; there is often found in commentaries a spontaneous strain of invective and contempt, more eager and venomous than is vented by the most furious controvertist in politicks against those whom he is hired to defame.

Another precursor was delivered in 1964 by Robert M. Hutchins whose long career included service as Dean of Yale Law School and President of the University of Chicago. Hutchins called academic politics “the worst kind”, but he did not include the sardonic explanation given in the full version of the saying:[ref] 1964 October, The Journal of General Education, Volume 16, Number 3, “Science, Scientists, and Politics” by Robert M. Hutchins, Start Page 197, Quote Page 197, Published by: Penn State University Press. (JSTOR) link [/ref]

Though I do not know much about professional politics, I know a lot about academic politics — and that is the worst kind. Woodrow Wilson said that Washington was a snap after Princeton.

The earliest direct evidence known to QI of a full statement that fits in the grouping above was printed in the transcript of a speech given in February 1969 at the annual convention of the American Association of School Administrators. The speaker was Charles Frankel who was a Professor of Philosophy at Columbia University, but his phrasing indicated that the adage was already in circulation, and he provided no attribution:[ref] 1969, Official Report of AASA (Your AASA), Report on the 1969 Annual Convention of American Association of School Administrators, (Convention held in Atlantic City, New Jersey, February 15 to 19, 1969), Speech: Education and the Barricades by Charles Frankel, (Speech by Charles Frankel, Professor of Philosophy at Columbia University; delivered February 17, 1969 during the Sixth General Session), Start Page 75, Quote Page 75, Published by American Association of School Administrators, Washington D.C. (Verified on paper)[/ref][ref] 1971, In Defense of Academic Freedom, Edited by Sidney Hook, “Education in Fever” by Charles Frankel, (Reprinted from Official Report of AASA, Report on the 1969 Annual Convention of the American Association of School Administrators), Start Page 35, Quote Page 35, Pegasus (Division of Bobbs-Merrill Company), New York. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

It used to be said of politics on the university campus that it was the worst of all kinds of politics because the stakes were so small. We should be able to take at least minor comfort, then, from the present situation in the educational world: The stakes today are not at all small.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Academic Politics Are So Vicious Because the Stakes Are So Small”

A Short Story Must Have a Single Mood and Every Sentence Must Build Towards It

Edgar Allan Poe? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: On a popular website I saw an intriguing list of “Indispensable Writing Tips from Famous Authors”. The following words were attributed to Edgar Allan Poe, the master of mystery and the macabre:

A short story must have a single mood and every sentence must build towards it.

I was unable to determine where this statement originally appeared. Did Poe really say this?

Quote Investigator: QI hypothesizes that this sentence is a rough synopsis of comments written by Poe in a book review published in 1842. Poe used the phrase “single effect” and not the phrase “single mood” when describing the importance of concision and unified purpose in short stories. This important essay was published in Graham’s Magazine, and Poe was reviewing Nathaniel Hawthorne’s collection titled Twice-Told Tales. Here is an excerpt with boldface added:[ref] 1842 May, Graham’s Magazine, Volume 20, Number 5, Review of New Books, [Review by Edgar Allan Poe of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s collection Twice-Told Tales, Volume 2], Start Page 298, Quote Page 298 and 299, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (The spelling of “skilful” was used in the original document) (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

A skilful literary artist has constructed a tale. If wise he has not fashioned his thoughts to accommodate his incidents; but having conceived, with deliberate care, a certain unique or single effect to be wrought out, he then invents such incidents—he then combines such events as may best aid him in establishing this preconceived effect. If his very initial sentence tend not to the outbringing of this effect, then he has failed in his first step.

In the whole composition there should be no word written, of which the tendency, direct or indirect, is not to the one pre-established design. And by such means, with such care and skill, a picture is at length painted which leaves in the mind of him who contemplates it with a kindred art, a sense of the fullest satisfaction. The idea of the tale has been presented unblemished, because undisturbed; and this is an end unattainable by the novel. Undue brevity is just as exceptionable here as in the poem; but undue length is yet more to be avoided.

In 1846 Poe published an essay in Graham’s Magazine titled The Philosophy of Composition in which he expatiated on his vision of literary creation:[ref] 1846 April, Graham’s Magazine, Volume 28, Number 4, “The Philosophy of Composition” by Edgar Allan Poe, Start Page 163, Quote Page 153, George R. Graham & Co., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Google Books full view) link link [/ref]

Nothing is more clear than that every plot, worth the name, must be elaborated to its dénouement before any thing be attempted with the pen. It is only with the dénouement constantly in view that we can give a plot its indispensable air of consequence, or causation, by making the incidents, and especially the tone at all points, tend to the development of the intention.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “A Short Story Must Have a Single Mood and Every Sentence Must Build Towards It”

Deathbed Remark: This Is No Time To Be Making New Enemies

Voltaire? Niccolò Machiavelli? Wilson Mizner? Dying Irishman? Canny Scot? Aging Rock Star? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: While reading speeches given by Nobel Prize recipients I came across an entertaining anecdote about Voltaire from the eminent economist Robert E. Lucas:[ref] 1995 December 10, Speech at Banquet for the Nobel Prize Award by Robert E. Lucas, Jr., [Lucas won the Sveriges Riksbank Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel], From Les Prix Nobel. The Nobel Prizes 1995, Editor Tore Frangsmyr, [Nobel Foundation], Stockholm. (Accessed at nobelprize.org on August 13, 2013) link [/ref]

When Voltaire was dying, in his eighties, a priest in attendance called upon him to renounce the devil. Voltaire considered his advice, but decided not to follow it. “This is no time,” he said, “to be making new enemies”. In this same spirit, I offer my thanks and good wishes to the Bank of Sweden, to the Nobel Committee, and to everyone involved in this wonderful occasion.

Reports of deathbed pronouncements are notoriously inaccurate, and the speaker was probably knowingly presenting a lighthearted fanciful tale. I have heard the same story told about the famous political schemer Niccolò Machiavelli. Could you explore this anecdote?

Quote Investigator: The earliest instance of this joke known to QI was published in April 1856, and the person lying on the deathbed was not famous. The jocular tale was told in a Springfield, Massachusetts newspaper and featured a generic Irishman:[ref] 1856 April 30, Springfield Republican, Political Miscellanies, Page 2, Column 1, Springfield, Massachusetts. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

You remind me of a dying Irishman, who was asked by his confessor if he was ready to renounce the devil and his works ‘Oh, your honor,’ said Pat, ‘don’t ask me that; I’m going into a strange country, and I don’t want to make myself enemies!’

This popular account was printed in multiple newspapers and periodicals in the following years, e.g., The Nebraskian of Omaha, Nebraska in August 1856;[ref] 1856 August 06, The Nebraskian, (Freestanding short filler item), Quote Page 1, Column 6, Issue 28, Omaha, Nebraska. (19th Century Newspapers)[/ref] the Boston Investigator of Boston, Massachusetts in August 1856;[ref] 1856 August 27, Boston Investigator, Wit, Humor, and Sentiment, Page 1, Column 5, Issue 18, Boston, Massachusetts, (19th Century Newspapers)[/ref] the Chicago Daily Tribune of Chicago, Illinois in July 1857;[ref] 1857 July 25, Chicago Daily Tribune, [Freestanding article], Page 0_3, Column 4, Chicago, Illinois. (ProQuest)[/ref] and the Saturday Evening Post of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in March 1860.[ref] 1860 March 10, Saturday Evening Post, [Freestanding article], Page 6, Column 2, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (ProQuest)[/ref]

Over the decades the identity of the main character has shifted between: an Irishman, a Scotsman, Wilson Mizner, Voltaire, Niccolò Machiavelli, an aging rock luminary, and others.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Deathbed Remark: This Is No Time To Be Making New Enemies”

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again. Then Quit. There’s No Use Being a Damn Fool About It

W. C. Fields? Stephen Leacock? Justin J. Burns? Henry Morgan? George Burns? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A well-known saying about persistence has become an energyless cliché:

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

The following parody version is usually attributed to the famous comedian W. C. Fields:

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

Did Fields create this twisted proverb?

Quote Investigator: Based on current evidence QI believes that it is unlikely W. C. Fields wrote or said the statement above. He died in 1946, and the earliest known instance of the quotation attributed to him was published in September 1949. An anonymous version of the saying was already in circulation by 1946. Details are given further below.

A very similar joke was crafted by the Canadian humorist Stephen Leacock and published in 1917. QI hypothesizes that the 1940s quip evolved from Leacock’s words. Here is an excerpt from his comical essay “Simple Stories of Success or How to Succeed in Life”:[ref] 1917 Copyright, Frenzied Fiction by Stephen Leacock, Simple Stories of Success or How to Succeed in Life, Start Page 243, Quote Page 245, John Lane Company, New York. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

According to all the legends and story books the principal factor in success is perseverance. Personally, I think there is nothing in it. If anything, the truth lies the other way.

There is an old motto that runs, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” This is nonsense. It ought to read—”If at first you don’t succeed, quit, quit at once.”

If you can’t do a thing, more or less, the first time you try, you will never do it. Try something else while there is yet time.

In September 1917 a Flint, Michigan newspaper printed a short filler item with a parody saying:[ref] 1917 September 13, Flint Journal, (Freestanding filler item), Quote Page 4, Column 2, Flint, Michigan. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Motto of the Russian army: If at first you don’t succeed, quit, quit again.

In 1925 the Buffalo Evening News of Buffalo, New York reprinted Stephen Leacock’s essay which included the excerpt given previously. The following title was bannered across the top of the page:[ref] 1925 December 5, Buffalo Evening News, “If at First You Don’t Succeed, Quit, Quit at Once” by Stephen Leacock, Quote Page 6, Buffalo, New York. (Old Fulton)[/ref]

“If at First You Don’t Succeed, Quit, Quit at Once”

In April 1946 a version of the saying under investigation was printed in a trade magazine called Commercial Car Journal. A page titled “Laugh It Off” presented a collection of jokes compiled by Skag Shannon. This instance used the word “silly” instead of “damn fool” and the words were attributed to an anonymous “Fireman”:[ref] 1946 April, Commercial Car Journal, Volume 71, “Laugh It Off” with Skag Shannon, Start Page 102, Quote Page 102, Column 2, Chilton Class Journal Co., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Verified with scans from the University of Denver library system; great thanks to the helpful librarian)[/ref]

Our Fireman says, “If you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then stop. No use being silly about it.”

The day after the death of W. C. Fields in December 1946 the Associated Press news service released an obituary that included a discussion of lawsuits that were filed by Fields and his physician over compensation. Fields lost the lawsuit, and he appealed the decision. Interestingly, Fields was quoted using a simple instance of the cliché maxim. He did not employ the derisive quotation that has been attributed to him in modern times:[ref] 1946 December 26, Boston Daily Globe (Boston Globe), “W. C. Fields Dies at 66; Famous for Nose, Quips”, (Associated Press), Start Page 1, Quote Page 10, Boston, Massachusetts. (ProQuest)[/ref]

“I struck out this time,” Fields told reporters, “but next time I’ll hit a home run. Onward and upward’s my motto. Try, try again.” He appealed and the judgment was pared to $2000.

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