Quote Investigator® – Page 185

Quote Origin: Reorganizing is a Wonderful Method for Creating the Illusion of Progress while Actually Producing Confusion, Inefficiency, and Demoralization

Gaius Petronius Arbiter? Robert Townsend? Charlton Ogburn Jr.? Apocryphal?

**Example of Complex Reorganization Chart from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: A famous book about management titled “Up the Organization: How to Stop the Corporation from Stifling People and Strangling Profits” contains a very funny and insightful quotation about reorganization:¹

I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.

I was surprised to find that a footnote attributed these words to Gaius Petronius Arbiter who was the ancient Roman author of the “Satyricon”. The footnote gave an approximate date of “circa A.D. 60”, but the statement sounds modern to me, and I have been unable to find any citations to ancient works. Would you examine this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Gaius Petronius Arbiter employed this quotation. Instead, QI believes the passage above was derived from words written by Charlton Ogburn Jr. in 1957.

Ogburn participated in the Burma Campaign in World War II, and wrote a piece about his experiences titled “Merrill’s Marauders: The Truth about an Incredible Adventure” that was published in the January 1957 issue of “Harper’s Magazine”. The article included the following passage:²

We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. Presumably the plans for our employment were being changed. I was to learn later in life that, perhaps because we are so good at organizing, we tend as a nation to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization. During our reorganizations, several commanding officers were tried out on us, which added to the discontinuity.

QI believes that the text above was subsequently simplified and streamlined to yield the popular modern statement.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

What Is the Difference Between a Misfortune and a Calamity?

Benjamin Disraeli? Prince Jérôme Napoléon? Napoleon III? French Academician? Mr. Snigger? Suffragette? Max O’Rell? Paul Blouët? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The statesman Benjamin Disraeli was famous for his witticisms and barbs. Reportedly he was once asked about the difference in meaning between the words “misfortune” and “calamity”, and he constructed a jest aimed at his political rival William Ewart Gladstone:

Well, if Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune; and if anybody pulled him out, that would be a calamity.

The reference works I examined gave citations in the twentieth century, but Disraeli died in 1881. Is this tale apocryphal?

Quote Investigator: There are many versions of this joke, and it has been circulating and evolving for more than 150 years. For example, the pair of contrasting words has included the following: accident versus malheur; accident versus misfortune; accident versus calamity; mischance versus misfortune; mishap versus misfortune; and misfortune versus calamity.

The hazardous event depicted has varied over time: falling into a pit, a pond, an unnamed river, the Seine, or the Thames. The identity of the endangered individual has also changed: Prince Jérôme Napoléon (also known as Plon-Plon), Napoleon III, the Emperor of the French, Mr. Bright, Sir Bilberry, Mr. Snippson, William Gladstone, or David Lloyd George.

This variability makes tracing the quip difficult. The earliest instance known to QI appeared in May 1861 in the English newspaper “The Leeds Mercury” which suggested that the anecdote originated in France. The target of disdain was Prince Jérôme Napoléon. The tale begins with a discussion between the Prince Imperial and the Emperor of France about synonyms and other closely related words. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1861 May 28, The Leeds Mercury, London Correspondence, Quote Page 2, Column 4 and 5, Yorkshire, England. (British Newspaper Archive and Newspapers_com)[/ref]

. . . the juvenile Imperial blood asked his parent to explain to him the difference between the words “accident” and “misfortune,” which have certainly a little closer affinity in French than English, and seem to require a little elucidation. After a pause for an illustration, His Majesty said, “I will tell you, my boy, the exact difference. It would be an accident if your cousin, Prince Napoleon, were to tumble into the Seine—but it would be a misfortune if any one were to help him out again.“

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “What Is the Difference Between a Misfortune and a Calamity?”

Don’t Bend; Don’t Water It Down; Don’t Try to Make It Logical; Don’t Edit Your Own Soul According to the Fashion

Franz Kafka? Anne Rice? Russell Brand? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The comedian and controversial wild man Russell Brand released the bestselling autobiography “My Booky Wook” in 2007 and the sequel “Booky Wook 2: This Time It’s Personal” in 2010. The sequel had a fascinating epigraph on the first page:[ref] 2010, Booky Wook 2: This Time It’s Personal by Russell Brand, (Epigraph on first page), Quote Page 1, HarperCollins, London. (Google Books Preview)[/ref]

Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.

This statement was attributed to the powerful and singular author Franz Kafka. But I haven’t been able to locate it in Kafka’s writings. Is this ascription accurate?

Quote Investigator: Probably not. QI has located no substantive evidence that Franz Kafka said or wrote the passage above. QI believes the actual author was the prominent horror writer Anne Rice whose books about vampires and witches have been very popular.

In 1995 a collection of short stories by Kafka that included influential works such as “The Metamorphosis” and “In the Penal Colony” was published by Schocken Books. The foreword was written by Anne Rice who stated that Kafka’s tales provided her with a guidepost and a decisive form of encouragement. Boldface has been added to the following excerpt:[ref] 1995, The Metamorphosis, In the Penal Colony, and Other Stories by Franz Kafka, Translation to English by Willa and Edwin Muir, Foreword by Anne Rice, (Foreword is dated June 1995), Start Page 1, Quote Page 3, Schocken Books, New York. (Verified with scans; thanks to the Beaufort County Library system of South Carolina)[/ref]

Kafka became a model for me, a continuing inspiration. Not only did he exhibit an irrepressible originality—who else would think of things like this!—he seemed to say that only in one’s most personal language can the crucial tales of a writer be told. Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. Only if you do that can you hope to make the reader feel a particle of what you, the writer, have known and feel compelled to share.

Anne Rice did not use quotation marks in the passage above because she was not quoting Kafka. She was presenting her perception of the motivating force behind Kafka’s literary works. In fact, QI believes that the philosophy of creativity outlined above is the one that Anne Rice has adopted based on the stimulation she experienced from reading Kafka’s stories.

Here are three additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Don’t Bend; Don’t Water It Down; Don’t Try to Make It Logical; Don’t Edit Your Own Soul According to the Fashion”

If You Haven’t Got It, You Can’t Show It. If You Have Got It, You Can’t Hide It

Zora Neale Hurston? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A quotation about success has been attributed to the prominent American author and pioneering folklorist Zora Neale Hurston. Here are two versions:

Those who don’t got it, can’t show it. Those who got it, can’t hide it
Those that don’t got it, can’t show it. Those that got it, can’t hide it.

I have been unable to find this statement in her writings. Are these her words? If she did use this expression I would like to see the larger context.

Quote Investigator: In 1942 Zora Neale Hurston published an autobiography titled “Dust Tracks on a Road”, and it included the quotation; however, the wording differed from the two versions given above:

If you haven’t got it, you can’t show it. If you have got it, you can’t hide it.

Here is an excerpt showing that Hurston was discussing the future success of blacks in the United States and the world. In this passage she emphasized the perspective of the individual. Boldface has been added:[ref] 1969, Dust Tracks On a Road, Chapter XII: My People! My People!, Start Page 223, Quote Page 245, Arno Press, New York. (Arno Press published in 1969 a reproduction of the 1942 first edition published by J. B. Lippincott Company, Philadelphia) (Verified with scans of Arno Press edition)[/ref]

It would be against all nature for all the Negroes to be either at the bottom, top, or in between. It has never happened with anybody else, so why with us? No, we will go where the internal drive carries us like everybody else. It is up to the individual. If you haven’t got it, you can’t show it. If you have got it, you can’t hide it. That is one of the strongest laws God ever made.

Here are additional selected citations.

Continue reading “If You Haven’t Got It, You Can’t Show It. If You Have Got It, You Can’t Hide It”

Quote Origin: They’re Cheering Us Both, You Because Nobody Understands You, and Me Because Everybody Understands Me

Charlie Chaplin? Albert Einstein? János Plesch? Hans Albert Einstein? Eduard Einstein? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The entertainer Charlie Chaplin and the scientist Albert Einstein were two of the most famous individuals of the last century. I have heard the following anecdote about a meeting between them in the 1930s. While traveling together they were recognized and a crowd of people started to vigorously applaud the luminaries. They waved to the throng and reportedly exchanged the following words:

Einstein: What I most admire about your art, is your universality. You don’t say a word, yet the world understands you!

Chaplin: True. But your glory is even greater! The whole world admires you, even though they don’t understand a word of what you say.

I think these words are apocryphal. Is there any truth to this tale?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The dialog above is probably inaccurate. The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in an article written by Charlie Chaplin for “Woman’s Home Companion” in October 1933 . The well-known comedian wrote a series of pieces for the magazine about his world travels, and his latest journey included a stay in Germany.

Previously, when Einstein had traveled to the United States he had visited with Chaplin. Thus, Chaplin decided to reciprocate, and he went to the “modest flat” of Einstein where he was introduced to the scientist’s wife, daughter (a sculptress), and son.

After dinner, Chaplin had arranged for a group of Japanese children to perform a dance routine for entertainment. One of the young dancers asked for autographs from both Chaplin and Einstein. Chaplin included a comic sketch of his large shoes while Einstein included one of his equations. Einstein then scrutinized the signatures, and the two luminaries exchanged remarks that prefigured the quotation under examination:¹

“But yours is more interesting,” he said humorously, comparing the two sketches.

“More comprehensible to the little girl perhaps,” I laughed, “and to me and many others.”

Interestingly, Chaplin credited the crucially insightful statement about fame to Einstein’s son. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:

“We sat down to delicious home-baked tarts made by Mrs. Einstein. During the course of conversation, his son remarked on the psychology of the popularity of Einstein and myself.

“You are popular,” he said, “because you are understood by the masses. On the other hand, the professor’s popularity with the masses is because he is not understood.”

Einstein had two sons: Hans Albert Einstein and Eduard Einstein. QI does not know which son Chaplin meant to credit.

A different tale about the origin of the quotation was later published by one of Einstein’s friends. See below for additional selected citations in chronological order.

You Can Get Much Further with a Kind Word and a Gun than with a Kind Word Alone

Al Capone? Irwin Corey? Ted Bessell? Robert De Niro? Willie Sutton? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The notorious gangster Al Capone reportedly had an odd sense of humor and joked about using coercion. Here are three versions of a saying that is attributed to him:

You get a lot more from a kind word and a gun than from a kind word alone.

You can go further with a smile and a gun, than with a smile alone.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

I am very skeptical. Capone died in 1947, and I haven’t been able to find any expressions like this credited to him when he was alive. The famous actor Robert De Niro did utter the saying in a movie when he was playing the role of Al Capone. Would you explore the origin of this saying?

Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence that Al Capone made a remark of this type. The earliest citations suggest that the line was created by a comedian named Professor Irwin Corey who performed as an eccentric academic spouting parodic erudition.

In 1953 the trade journal “Variety” published a transcript of an NBC radio broadcast presenting a “survey of humor, down through the ages”. Corey appeared as a comical Hamlet-like character. Emphasis added by QI:[ref] 1953 July 29, Variety, Survey of Humor: Double-Talk Hamlet, Start Page 36, Quote Page 51, Column 2, Published by Variety Inc., New York. (ProQuest Variety Archive)[/ref]

I have a simple philosophy which is poignant. Shoot a point, point blank, unsubtle, simple, poignant. My philosophy is you can get more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

Corey’s linkage of the quip to Hamlet was odd because within Shakespeare’s play Hamlet wields a sword and not a gun. However, by 1969 Corey had heightened the humor of the line by attaching the words to Al Capone.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order including the 1969 citation.

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Some People Never Miss an Opportunity to Miss an Opportunity

George Bernard Shaw? Abba Eban? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: There is a popular phrase used to criticize individuals and groups. Here are three examples:

Some politicians never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.
He never missed an occasion of losing an opportunity.
This group loses no chance to miss an opportunity.

Can you determine who originated this turn of phrase?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in 1922 when the diary of Sir Algernon West was published. The critical words were attributed to the prominent playwright and social commentator George Bernard Shaw, and they were aimed at Archibald Philip Primrose, 5th Earl of Rosebery who was for a short time the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Boldface has been added to excerpts below:[ref] 1922, Private Diaries of the Rt. Hon. Sir Algernon West, G.C.B. by Sir Algernon West, Edited by Horace G. Hutchinson, Chapter III: 1892: The General Election, Quote Page 35, E.P. Dutton and Company, New York. (Google Books full view) link [/ref]

Bernard Shaw, in later years, described him as a man who never missed an occasion of losing an opportunity, and W. Johnson, afterwards Cory the Eton master, said in a classical allusion that he wanted the palm without the dust.

The phrase “wanted the palm without the dust” referred to the desire to obtain victory without a major expenditure of effort. The excerpt above assessing Rosebery’s character was part of a section recounting events in 1892 but the date of the remark by Shaw was not precisely specified. Algernon West died in 1921.

When the volume containing the “Private Diaries of the Right Hon. Algernon West” was examined in “The New York Times” in October 1922 the reviewer found the shrewdly humorous remark about Rosebery distinctive enough to reprint:[ref] 1922 October 1, New York Times, In Gladstone’s Cabinet, (Book Review of “Private Diaries of the Right Hon. Algernon West”), Start Page 50, Quote Page 50, New York. (ProQuest)[/ref]

Bernard Shaw, in later years, described him as a man who never missed an occasion of losing an opportunity…

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Some People Never Miss an Opportunity to Miss an Opportunity”

I Only Write When Inspiration Strikes. Fortunately It Strikes at Nine Every Morning

William Faulkner? Peter De Vries? Herman Wouk? W. Somerset Maugham? Jane Yolen? Raymond Chandler? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: As a writer I find the following quotation about motivation both amusing and invigorating:

I write when I’m inspired, and I see to it that I’m inspired at nine o’clock every morning.

I have seen these words attributed to the satiric New Yorker writer Peter De Vries, the Nobelist William Faulkner, and playwright-novelist Somerset Maugham. Who do you think originated this quip?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI was printed in 1966 in a “Washington Post” profile of the bestselling author Herman Wouk who was best known for the novels “The Caine Mutiny”, “The Winds of War”, and “War and Remembrance”. Wouk ascribed the remark to William Faulkner. The phrasing differed from the version provided by the questioner, but the underlying joke was the same. Boldface has been added to excerpts below:[ref] 1966 November 13, Washington Post, Writing Is Workaday For Herman Wouk: Inspiration Strikes at Nine Every Morning by Meryle Secrest (Washington Post Staff Writer), Quote Page F3, Column 3, Washington, D.C. (Note: ProQuest database gives the incorrect author name of Meryle Secret)[/ref]

For a writer with so many books to his credit, he finds writing an exceedingly difficult process of “gritting one’s teeth and putting down one word after another.” He averages 1500 to 2000 words a day and likes to quote William Faulkner: “I only write when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes at nine every morning.”

This Wouk profile was reprinted in several newspapers including the “Des Moines Register” in Iowa[ref] 1966 November 24, Des Moines Register, The Wouk Formula For Writing Success by Meryle Secrest (Acknowledgement to The Washington Post), Quote Page 16, Des Moines, Iowa. (NewspaperArchive)[/ref] and the “Springfield Union” in Massachusetts.[ref] 1966 December 11, 1966, Springfield Union, Herman Wouk Tells What Literary Success Means by Meryle Secret, (Acknowledgement Washington Post News Service), Quote Page 18C, Springfield, Massachusetts. (GenealogyBank)[/ref] Faulkner died in 1962, four years before the story was published, and QI has not yet located any direct support for the attribution.

In 1971 the poet and novelist Reynolds Price was interviewed in “The Raleigh News and Observer” of North Carolina, and he presented a version of the jest credited to William Faulkner:[ref] 1991, Conversations with Reynolds Price, Edited by Jefferson Humphries, (A Glimpse into the Very Private World of a Novelist, Interview of Reynolds Price by Rod Cockshutt, Reprinted from The Raleigh News and Observer, Date: January 24, 1971, Section: 4, 3) Start Page 30, Quote Page 34 and 35, Univ. Press of Mississippi, Jackson, Mississippi, (Verified on paper)[/ref]

Someone once asked Mr. Faulkner if he wrote by inspiration or habit and he said he wrote by inspiration, but luckily inspiration arrived at 9 every morning. I know what that means. And there is a kind of magic about keeping the stride once you’ve got it going.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Let Us Make a Special Effort to Stop Communicating with Each Other, So We Can Have Some Conversation

Mark Twain? Miss Manners? Judith Martin? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I am considering using a quotation that is attributed to Mark Twain in the conclusion of my Master’s Thesis about social media. Unfortunately, I have been unable to verify the ascription, and the origin of the expression is uncertain:

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

I would be grateful for your assistance in tracing these words.

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain said or wrote the statement above. It is not listed on Barbara Schmidt’s TwainQuotes.com website, an important reference tool for checking expressions ascribed to the humorist. The earliest relevant citation located by QI appeared many years after Twain’s death in 1910.

For more than three decades Judith Martin has authored a popular syndicated advice column called “Miss Manners”. In 1979 she wrote an article contrasting communication and conversation that began with the following initial sentence:[ref] 1979 September 1, The Bulletin, Miss Manners: Stop ‘communicating’ and start conversing by Judith Martin, (United Features Syndicate), Quote Page 19, Column 1, Bend, Deschutes County, Oregon. (Google News Archive)[/ref][ref] 1979 September 3, State Times Advocate, Miss Manners by Judith Martin, Quote Page 3B, Column 1, Baton Rouge, Louisiana. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

The new social season being now upon us, let us make a special effort to learn to stop communicating with one another, so that we can have some conversation.

Martin was opposed to the oversharing of inappropriate personal details with acquaintances:

In communication, people express their true feelings, and tell everything about themselves with complete honesty, holding back nothing except their last names.

She wished that discretion and propriety would return to discourse:

Miss Manners’ hope is that, having learned to communicate, people have now rid themselves of their emotional backlogs, and are willing to return to talking like civilized people.

QI hypothesizes that the quotation from Martin was streamlined and then incorrectly reassigned to Mark Twain.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: Kindness Is a Language Which the Deaf Can Hear and the Blind Can See

Mark Twain? Christian Nestell Bovee? Eva Alice? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Recently I clicked on a link that led to a top business-oriented website and was greeted by an interstitial page that displayed a quotation attributed to Mark Twain:

Kindness is a language which the deaf and the blind can read.

I thought this ascription was implausible, and the remark was odd. A deaf person can read standard text, and a blind person can read Braille. Would you examine this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Mark Twain died in 1910 and the first attribution of this saying to Twain located by QI was published in 1942. Hence, the ascription to Twain is unlikely to be accurate. Details for this citation are given further below.

The earliest match known to QI appeared in 1857 within a collection of sayings published by Christian Nestell Bovee titled “Thoughts, Feelings, and Fancies”. The following version of the dictum referred to the “dumb” and “deaf” instead of the “deaf” and “blind”. The term “dumb” was used to describe individuals who were unable to speak, typically because of congenital deafness. This word choice is now less frequent because it is considered offensive. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

KINDNESS
A language which the dumb can speak, and the deaf can understand.

This adage suggested that acts of kindness transcended conventional sensory and communication pathways. These acts could be performed or experienced without recourse to speaking or hearing. Christian Nestell Bovee is the leading candidate for creator of this saying. Bovee worked hard throughout his life to construct epigrams and memorable passages. His words were often reprinted by others. The phrasing evolved over time.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.