Tracing Quotations
Ambrose Bierce? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: A clever wit claimed that the act of quoting someone really meant erroneously repeating their words. I do not remember the precise phrasing; hence, this quotation itself is somewhat erroneous. Would you please help me to find the correct quotation and author? Quote Investigator: In July 1906 a newspaper …
Continue reading “Quotation: The Act of Repeating Erroneously the Words of Another”
Oscar Wilde? George Bernard Shaw? Ambrose Bierce? Charles Frederick Joy? Percival Christopher Wren? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: If you are attending a soporific party, and the host asks whether you are content you might reply with the following comically self-absorbed zinger attributed to the famous Irish wit Oscar Wilde: “Are you enjoying yourself, Mr. Wilde?” …
Continue reading ““Are You Enjoying Yourself?” “Yes, But That’s the Only Thing I Am Enjoying””
Mark Twain? Bill Nye? Ambrose Bierce? Punch Magazine? Dear Quote Investigator: Richard Wagner was a prominent German composer who created the landmark four-opera cycle Der Ring des Nibelungen (The Ring of the Nibelung). A comically incongruous remark about his efforts has been attributed to two famous American humorists Mark Twain and Bill Nye: Wagner’s music …
Continue reading “Wagner’s Music Is Really Much Better Than It Sounds”
Ambrose Bierce? H. L. Mencken? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a comically acerbic remark about elections that is often attributed to the famous cynic Ambrose Bierce: An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods. Several of my friends have told me that these are actually the words of the influential …
Continue reading “Every Election Is a Sort of Advance Auction Sale of Stolen Goods”
Ambrose Bierce? Paul Rodriguez? Jon Stewart? Mark Twain? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Many people are unable to find countries and major cities on a map. A comical remark about this cartographical ignorance has been attributed to both Ambrose Bierce and Mark Twain. Here are four versions: War is God’s way of teaching us geography War …
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Ambrose Bierce? Henry Ward Beecher? Laurence J. Peter? Groucho Marx? Harry H. Jones? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The rant of an enraged person often contains statements that necessitate contrite apologies later. Here is an adage reflecting this insight: Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. These …
Continue reading “Speak When You’re Angry and You’ll Make the Best Speech You’ll Ever Regret”
Ambrose Bierce? Alan Le May? Jack Benny? Mark Twain? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The increasing popularity of ebooks is threatening to make one of my favorite quotations obsolete. The wonderful humorist Ambrose Bierce was asked to evaluate a lengthy soporific tome and according to legend he handed in a devastating and hilarious one-line review: The …
Continue reading “The Covers of This Book Are Too Far Apart”
Mark Twain? Robert Frost? Ambrose Bierce? Ben Bernanke? Philippe Girardet? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: It is remarkably difficult to obtain a loan in a difficult economic climate. This notion can be expressed with the following adage: A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back …
Continue reading “A Banker Lends You His Umbrella When It’s Sunny and Wants It Back When It Rains”