Any Time You See Anything Big and Working Well, You Want To Take It Over

Winston Churchill? Clement Attlee? Emmanuel Shinwell? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: There was an extraordinary and ribald conversation between Winston Churchill and his political opponent Clement Attlee that supposedly took place in the men’s room of the House of Commons. Was this event authentic or apocryphal?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in a letter dated December 22, 1958 that was written by the statesman Dean Acheson who recorded an anecdote about Winston Churchill and Labour Party Leader Clement Attlee. But Acheson did not hear the story directly from either of the participants; instead, the colorful vignette was presented by the journalists Scotty Reston and Stewart Alsop who were relaying a tale told by the politician Hubert Humphrey. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1980, Among Friends: Personal Letters of Dean Acheson, Edited by David S. McLellan and David C. Acheson, Letter dated December 22, 1958 from Dean Acheson to Felix Frankfurter, Quote Page 153, Dodd, Mead, New York. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

. . . the situation reminded him of a story of Attlee’s that in the War Cabinet days he and Winston had had to be excused, and found themselves at opposite ends of the stalls. “Isn’t this unusual modesty for you, Winston,” said Clem. “Not at all,” said Winston, “I’m just suspicious of you Socialists.”

Clem asked why. “Because,” said Winston, “whenever you see a means of production in good working order you want to nationalize it.”

In subsequent years the anecdote evolved. For example, in 1965 a politician named Emmanuel Shinwell was identified as the conversational partner instead of Attlee. In modern times Attlee is usually specified.

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Ah, Would That I Were Only 80 Years Old!

Bernard Le Bovier de Fontenelle? Samuel Rogers? Walter Besant? Helmuth von Moltke the Elder? Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.? Georges Clemenceau?

Dear Quote Investigator: An amusing remark about longevity and libido has been ascribed to septuagenarians, octogenarians, nonagenarians, and centenarians. A venerable gentleman was sitting on a park bench with a friend, and he gazed at a beautiful woman who walked by them. He turned to his companion and said one of the following:

1) Oh, to be sixty again!
2) Ah! To be seventy again, with thirty years more to live!
3) Ah! What wouldn’t I give to be seventy again!
4) If I could only be eighty once more.

This type of comment has been attributed to the French author Bernard Le Bovier de Fontenelle, the English poet Samuel Rogers, and the American jurist Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: In 1813 a collection of letters was published under the title “Correspondance Littéraire, Philosophique et Critique”. A letter dated February 1, 1757 discussed Bernard Le Bovier de Fontenelle, and his place in the exclusive salons of France. Fontenelle had died during the previous month when he was 99 years old. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1813, Title: Correspondance Littéraire, Philosophique et Critique: Adressée à Un Souverain d’Allemagne, depuis 1753 jusqu’en 1769, Part 1, Volume 2, Letter Date: 1er Février 1757 (February 1, 1757), Letter Location: Paris, Start Page 147, Quote Page 151 and 152, Publisher: Longchamps, F. Buisson, Paris. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

Sans sa surdité qui l’empêchait de prendre part à la conversation, il eût été aussi agréable dans la société qu’il l’avait été à l’âge de trente ans. Il disait, il n’y a pas longtemps à une jeune femme, pour lui faire sentir l’impression que sa beauté faisait sur lui: Ah! si je n’avais que quatre-vingts ans.

Here’s one possible translation into English:

If his deafness hadn’t kept him from participating in conversation, he would have been as pleasant in society as he was at the age of 30. Not long ago he said to a young woman, to show her how impressed he was by her beauty, “Ah, would that I were only 80 years old!”

The remark above was the earliest instance in this family located by QI. During the 1800s, 1900s, and 2000s the expression was often ascribed to Fontenelle though the precise phrasing and circumstances varied. QI conjectures that other members in the family were derived directly or indirectly from the words of Fontenelle.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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I’d Put My Money on the Sun and Solar Energy

Thomas Edison? James D. Newton? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A fascinatingly prescient remark about energy has been attributed to the famous inventor and entrepreneur Thomas Edison:

I’d put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don’t have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that.

Edison died in 1931, and these words sound almost too futuristic to me. Is this an accurate quotation?

Quote Investigator: There is solid evidence that Thomas Edison believed that sunshine, wind, and tides should be employed to generate energy for humankind. The amount of energy available from these sources was potentially enormous. Edison expressed this position during a 1910 interview, and QI has an article about this topic located here. This article is focused on the narrow topic of the provenance of the quotation specified by the questioner.

In 1987 the book “Uncommon Friends: Life with Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, Alexis Carrel, & Charles Lindbergh” was published. The author James D. Newton was a friend of each one of these prominent figures from history.

Many of the discussions and incidents described in the book occurred decades before the publication date. To support their veracity Newton stated that he kept contemporaneous notes:[ref] 1987, Uncommon Friends: Life with Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, Alexis Carrel, & Charles Lindbergh by James D. Newton (James Draper Newton), Quote Page ix, Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, San Diego, California. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

I have not had to rely on my memory alone to record the events, anecdotes, and conversations in which I took part with my friends over a period of nearly fifty years. Fortunately, during most of that time I kept a diary in which I noted times and places, key phrases, and vivid impressions. I also relied on publications by and about my friends, which jogged my memory.

Newton described a conversation between Thomas Edison, automobile manufacturer Henry Ford, and tire manufacturer Harvey Firestone. Edison began with a provocative remark about the possible depletion of resources in the future. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1987, Uncommon Friends: Life with Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone, Alexis Carrel, & Charles Lindbergh by James D. Newton (James Draper Newton), Quote Page 31, Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, San Diego, California. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

“We are like tenant farmers, chopping down the fence around our house for fuel, when we should be using nature’s inexhaustible sources of energy—sun, wind, and tide.”

Firestone responded that oil and coal and wood couldn’t last forever. They’d been tackling rubber. He wondered how much hard research was going into harnessing the wind, for example. Windmills hadn’t changed much in a thousand years.”

Ford said there were enormously powerful tides—for example, the Bay of Fundy. Scientists had only been playing with the question so far.

Edison said, “I’d put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don’t have to wait till oil and coal run out before we tackle that. I wish I had more years left!”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Never Believe Anything Until It Is Officially Denied

Otto von Bismarck? Cynical Broker? Hy Sheridan? Claud Cockburn? Edward Cheyfitz? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Cynicism regarding official edicts is not a new phenomenon. Reportedly, the powerful German leader Otto von Bismarck once said:

Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied.

Yet, these words have also been attributed to more recent political figures such as the journalist Claud Cockburn and the Washington attorney Edward Cheyfitz. Would you please help determine the proper ascription?

Quote Investigator: This sharp remark which borders on paradox can be expressed in many ways; hence, it has been difficult to trace. The earliest evidence located by QI was published in “The Tri-Weekly Gleaner” of Kingston, Jamaica in 1897. A writer suggested that pronouncements from the government in the Transvaal region of Africa were unreliable. The adage about official denials was credited to a “cautious observer”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1897 August 31, The Tri-Weekly Gleaner (Kingston Gleaner), The Land of Gold: Affairs in the Transvaal, Quote Page 7, Column 7, Kingston, Jamaica. (NewspaperArchive)[/ref]

The fact that the Government have once more pledged themselves to execute reforms is taken as quite sufficient reason for not believing in them. A cautious observer declared: “I never accept anything about the Government until it has been officially denied; then I know it is true.”

In 1900 “The Times” newspaper of London printed a letter from a correspondent with the moniker “Behind the Scenes” who presented the witticism as an axiom and provided no attribution.[ref] 1900 December 10, The Times, Mr. Kruger and France, (Letter dated December 9 to the editor from “Behind the Scenes”), Quote Page 10, Column 6, London, England. (The Times UK Database from Gale)[/ref] The same letter was reprinted in “The St. James Gazette” of London:[ref] 1900 December 10, The St. James Gazette, France and Mr. Kruger, Quote Page 7, Column 2, London, England. (NewspaperArchive)[/ref]

It is an axiom of practical politics never to believe anything until it has been officially denied.

Otto von Bismarck died in 1898, and an instance of the saying was attributed to him by 1911. Claud Cockburn included a version in his 1956 memoir, but he was relaying an unattributed remark. In 1958 a note in the “Reader’s Digest” cited “Look” magazine to credit Edward Cheyfitz. These citations were rather late, and the current evidence favors an anonymous origin.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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The Man Who First Flung a Word of Abuse at His Enemy Instead of a Spear Was the Founder of Civilization

Sigmund Freud? An English Writer? Walt Menninger? Joyce Brothers? Robert Byrne? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The control and deflection of violent impulses is central to the development of fruitful social interactions. A cogent remark on this topic has been attributed to the acclaimed father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud. Here are three versions:

1) The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.
2) The first man to hurl an insult rather than a spear was the founder of civilization.
3) The first human who hurled a curse instead of a weapon against his adversary was the founder of civilization.

I have not been able to find a precise citation. Would you please explore the provenance of this expression?

Quote Investigator: In 1893 Sigmund Freud and Josef Breuer published an article titled “Ueber den psychischen Mechanismus hysterischer Phänomene” in a Vienna medical journal. The title could be rendered in English as “On the Psychical Mechanism of Hysterical Phenomena”. The following was the pertinent passage in German about the beginning of civilization. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] Date: 1893 January 29, Journal: Wiener Medizinische Presse: Organ für Praktische Ärzte, Volume 34, Number 5, Article: Ueber den psychischen Mechanismus hysterischer Phänomene, Authors: Von Dr. Josef Breuer und Dr. Sigm. Freud in Wien, Start Column Number 165, Quote Column Number 166, Publisher: Urban & Schwarzenberg, Wien. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

Aber, wie ein englischer Autor geistreich bemerkte, derjenige, welcher dem Feinde statt des Pfeiles ein Schimpfwort entgegenschleuderte, war der Begründer der Civilisation, so ist das Wort der Ersatz für die That und unter Umständen der einzige Ersatz (Beichte).

A comprehensive twenty four volume work in English called “The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud” was released during the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s. The third volume published in 1962 contained a translation by James Strachey of the 1893 passage above:[ref] 1962, The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, Translated from German under the General Editorship of James Strachey, In Collaboration with Anna Freud, Assisted by Alix Strachey and Alan Tyson, Volume 3 (1893-1899): Early Psycho-Analytic Publications, German article title: Ueber den Psychischen Mechanismus Hysterischer Phänomene, English article title: On the Psychical Mechanism of Hysterical Phenomena, Start Page 25, Quote Page 36, Published by Hogarth Press, London. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

But, as an English writer has wittily remarked, the man who first flung a word of abuse at his enemy instead of a spear was the founder of civilization. Thus words are substitutes for deeds, and in some circumstances (e.g. in Confession) the only substitutes.

A comment in the “Standard Edition” stated that the medical journal article was based on a shorthand report of a lecture delivered by Freud together with revisions by Freud. Importantly, Freud ascribed the remark about civilization to an unnamed English writer. So, one may say Freud popularized the saying, but he did not originate it.

Translation is often a complex operation, and here the identity of the weapon was arguably ambiguous. The words “arrow”, “dart”, and “spear” were each worthy of consideration as possible translations for “Pfeil”.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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First I Brush My Teeth and Then I Sharpen My Tongue

Dorothy Parker? Oscar Levant? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A famously trenchant wit was once asked to describe the daily routine followed after arising:

I wake up in the morning and brush my teeth, and then I sharpen my tongue.

These words have been attributed to the writer Dorothy Parker and to the pianist comedian Oscar Levant. Would you please determine who should be credited?

Quote Investigator: In 1940 the Hollywood columnist Erskine Johnson relayed the following remark from Oscar Levant though the name was misspelled as “Lavant”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1940 September 26, Santa Cruz Evening News, Erskine Johnson’s Hollywood Today, Quote Page 5, Column 2, Santa Cruz, California. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

Asked about his morning routine by an interviewer, Oscar Lavant cracked: “First I brush my teeth and then I sharpen my tongue.”

The ascription to Levant was supported by other columnists in the 1940s. The linkage to Dorothy Parker appears to have been constructed in the 2000s. Thus, the Parker connection was not substantive.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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I’ll Give You a Definite Maybe

Samuel Goldwyn? Jerry Wald? Jed Harris? Louis Sobol? Walter Winchell? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Making a weighty decision is difficult because one must be willing to forgo alternative choices and possibilities. The following equivocal statement comical illustrates this psychological tension:

I can give you a definite maybe.

The words above have been attributed to the powerful movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn who made a large number of multi-million dollar business decisions. Would you please explore this phrase?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI was printed in a column of the “Brooklyn Daily Eagle” of New York in November 1933. The quip was relayed to the columnist by Jerry Wald who was a screenwriter and producer; Wald ascribed the remark to another unnamed Hollywood producer:[ref] 1933 November 14, Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Reverting to Type by Art Arthur, A Definite Perhaps, Quote Page 19, Column 8, Brooklyn, New York. (Old Fulton)[/ref]

From Jerry Wald, away out in Hollywood, comes the gag about the producer who was arguing with an actor about a contract. The actor insisted the producer come to a definite decision, one way or the other.

“What are you complaining about?” screamed the producer. “I have given you a definite decision…didn’t I give you a definite maybe?”

In December 1933 a very similar anecdote was printed in a newspaper in Amsterdam, New York with an acknowledgement to the periodical “Hollywood Times”:[ref] 1933 December 30, Evening Recorder (Daily Democrat and Recorder),In Merrier Mood, Quote Page 4, Column 7, Amsterdam, New York. (Old Fulton)[/ref]

To a movie actor who insisted on a definite decision the film producer roared: “What are you complaining about? I have given you a definite decision–didn’t I give you a definite ‘Maybe?'” — Hollywood Times.

By 1935 the expression was being attributed to the director and producer Jed Harris. Columnist Louis Sobol was credited in 1939; columnist Walter Winchell used the phrase in 1940; and Samuel Goldwyn was also credited in 1940.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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You Can Discover More About a Person in an Hour of Play than in a Year of Conversation

Plato? Richard Lingard? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Plato’s philosophical thoughts were explicated using the format of a dialogue in which the participants expressed clashing ideas. The following quotation attributed to Plato seems to be a comical twist on his true attitude:

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

Would you please explore this saying?

Quote Investigator: QI and other researchers have found no substantive evidence that Plato wrote or spoke this remark.

The earliest significant match known to QI was contained in a short pamphlet published in 1670 titled “A Letter of Advice to a Young Gentleman Leaveing the University Concerning His Behaviour and Conversation in the World” by Richard Lingard. The following passage referred to “game” instead of “play”; also “game” was used in the specialized sense of “gambling game”. In addition, the period mentioned was seven years instead of one. The spelling and grammatical irregularities were in the original text. Bold face has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1670, Title: A Letter of Advice to a Young Gentleman Leaveing the University Concerning His Behaviour and Conversation in the World, Author: R. L. (Richard Lingard), Quote Page 50 and 51, Printed by Benjamin Tooke, Dublin, Ireland, Sold by Mary Crook. (Early English Books Online EEBO-TCP Phase 2)[/ref]

Take heed of playing often or deep at Dice and games of chance, for that is more chargeable than the seven deadly sinns; yet you may allow your self a certaine easy sum to spend at play, to gratifie friends, and pass over the winters nights, and that will make you indifferent for the event. If you would read a mans disposition see him game, you will then learn more of him in one hour, than in seven years conversation, and little wagers will try him as soon as great stakes, for then he is off his Guard.

An individual might react with anger, agitation, surprise, or indifference when he or she has lost a small sum or a great sum of money. Each one of these variable responses would help to illuminate that person’s character suggested Lingard.

In 1857 a compilation titled “A Polyglot of Foreign Proverbs” was published and the following anonymous concise saying was presented in Portuguese and English:[ref] 1857, A Polyglot of Foreign Proverbs, comprising French, Italian, German, Dutch, Spanish, Portuguese, and Danish with English Translations by Henry G. Bohn, Section: Portuguese Proverbs, Quote Page 281, Section: Index, Quote Page 422, Published by Henry G. Bohn, London. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

Mais descobre huma hora de jogo, que hum anno de conversação.

An hour of play discovers more than a year of conversation.

The statement above strongly matched the modern version of the expression, and it may have evolved from the advice given in 1670, but this connection remains hypothetical.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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A False Enchantment Can All Too Easily Last a Lifetime

W. H. Auden? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following evocative statement has been attributed to the prominent poet W. H. Auden:

A false enchantment can all too easily last a lifetime.

I find it so frustrating that people post and repost this quote without pointing to its precise source. Would you please help?

Quote Investigator: In 1970 W. H. Auden published “A Certain World: A Commonplace Book”. The term “commonplace book” referred to a personal journal in which quotations, comments, observations, and other documents were gathered together for preservation. Auden’s volume was organized into an alphabetically ordered sequence of topics. The section titled “Enchantment” presented a quotation followed by a commentary:[ref] 1970, A Certain World: A Commonplace Book by W. H. Auden, Section: Enchantment, Start Page 149, Quote Page 150, A William Cole Book: Viking Press, New York. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

Where is your Self to be found? Always in the deepest enchantment that you have experienced.
HUGO VON HOFMANNSTHAL

The state of enchantment is one of certainty. When enchanted, we neither believe nor doubt nor deny: we know, even if, as in the case of a false enchantment, our knowledge is self-deception.

The quotation appeared in Auden’s discussion of the divergence between true and false enchantments. Boldface has been added to excerpts:

All true enchantments fade in time. Sooner or later we must walk alone in faith. When this happens, we are tempted, either to deny our vision, to say that it must have been an illusion and, in consequence, grow hardhearted and cynical, or to make futile attempts to recover our vision by force, i.e., by alcohol or drugs.

A false enchantment can all too easily last a lifetime.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Life Is Too Important To Be Taken Seriously

Oscar Wilde? G. K. Chesterton? H. L. Mencken? Sebastian Melmoth?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following cryptic paradox has been attributed to the famous wit Oscar Wilde:

Life is too important to be taken seriously.

Yet, I have not found this statement in Wilde’s plays or essays. Would you please examine its provenance?

Quote Investigator: Oscar Wilde did not write or say the precise quip listed above; however, he did write something that was similar. In 1883 Wilde’s first play titled “Vera; or, The Nihilists” was staged in New York; it was unsuccessful, and the production closed quickly.

In 1902 the text of the play was printed in a private limited edition. The work included a line that partially matched the jest, but it used the phrase “talk seriously” which shifted the semantics. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1902, Vera; or, The Nihilists by Oscar Wilde, Act II, Quote Page 34, (Note in text: This Play was written in 1881, and is now published from the author’s own copy, showing his corrections of and additions to the original text), Privately Printed; Number 64 of 200 Copies. (Internet Archive) link [/ref]

COUNT R.: There seems to be nothing in life about which you would not jest.

PRINCE PAUL: Ah! my dear Count, life is much too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it.

Wilde apparently enjoyed this joke because he reused it in his successful comedy “Lady Windermere’s Fan” which was staged in 1892 and published in 1893:[ref] 1893, Lady Windermere’s Fan: A Play About a Good Woman by Oscar Wilde, Quote Page 14 and 15, Published by Elkin Mathews and John Lane at the Sign of the Bodley Head in Vigo Street, London. (HathiTrust Full View) link link [/ref]

LADY WINDERMERE: Why do you talk so trivially about life, then?

LORD DARLINGTON: Because I think that life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it.

DUCHESS OF BERWICK: What does he mean? Do, as a concession to my poor wits, Lord Darlington, just explain to me what you really mean.

LORD DARLINGTON: I think I had better not, Duchess. Now-a-days to be intelligible is to be found out. Good-bye!

The phrasing used by Wilde was remembered incorrectly by some playgoers. For example, in 1902 the influential writer and critic G. K. Chesterton penned a book which included a reference to Wilde’s comedy, but Chesterton simplified the humorous line by removing the reference to “talk”. Chesterton’s altered version was close to the popular modern expression:[ref] 1902, Robert Louis Stevenson by G. K. Chesterton and W. Robertson Nicoll, Part II: The Characteristics of Robert Louis Stevenson, Start Page 9, Quote Page 20 and 21, Published by Hodder and Stoughton, London. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

Thus the brilliant author of “Lady Windermere’s Fan,” in the electric glare of modernity, finds that life is much too important to be taken seriously.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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