It’s Not What You See That Is Suspect, But How You Interpret What You See

Isaac Asimov? John A. Keel? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Recently, I read a book called “The Mothman Prophecies” which discussed mysterious sightings of a human-sized moth-like creature in West Virginia in the 1960s. There are many ways to attempt to interpret bizarre and enigmatic visions. The book included an intriguing quotation attributed to the well-known science and science fiction writer Isaac Asimov:

It’s not what you see that is suspect, but how you interpret what you see.

Did Asimov really say this? Would you please trace this quotation?

Quote Investigator: In 1966 Isaac Asimov published an article titled “UFO’s—What I Think” in “Science Digest” magazine. He stated that UFOs (Unidentified Flying Objects) certainly did exist. But he noted that a creaking sound heard late at night in your house might be labeled a UHO (Unidentified Heard Object), and an entity on the ground seen briefly in the corner of your eye might be called a UCO (Unidentified Creeping Object). These object types probably did not require a supernatural or interstellar explanation.

Asimov suggested that UFOs probably were not the spaceships of extraterrestrial beings. The following excerpt included the quotation:[ref] 1966 June, Science Digest: The Science News Monthly, Volume 59, Number 6, UFO’s–What I Think by Isaac Asimov, Start Page 44, Quote Page 46, Column 2, Published by The Hearst Corporation, New York. (Verified with scans; special thanks to the Sadie Hartzler Library of Eastern Mennonite University; the Dick Smith Library of Tarleton State University)[/ref]

I am told, though, that so many people have seen objects that looked like spaceships that “there must be something to it.” Maybe there is, but think of all the people in the history of the world who have seen ghosts and spirits and angels.

It’s not what you see that is suspect, but how you interpret what you see. After all, you can see with your own eyes that the Earth is flat and that the Sun goes around the Earth; you see that even though you have been taught that what you see is consistent with the interpretation that the Earth is a sphere and goes around the Sun.

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The First Draft of Anything Is Shit

Ernest Hemingway? Arnold Samuelson? Bernard Malamud? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The prose style of the famous author Ernest Hemingway was spare and direct, but to achieve that form he often worked through multiple drafts. A pungent remark about rewriting has been attributed to the Nobel Prize winner. Here are three versions:

The first draft of everything is shit.
The first draft of anything is shit.
The first draft of anything is rubbish.

What do you think? Authentic? Apocryphal?

Quote Investigator: Ernest Hemingway died in 1961, and the first published evidence of this remark known to QI appeared in the 1984 posthumous memoir “With Hemingway: A Year in Key West and Cuba” by Arnold Samuelson. In 1934 the nineteen-year-old Samuelson journeyed to Key West, Florida to meet Hemingway whose works had deeply impressed the young man. Hemingway needed a deck hand for his fishing boat, The Pilar, and Samuelson desired a literary tutor and guide. He accepted the job and worked with Hemingway for 10 months.

Samuelson created a manuscript that recorded his experiences, but it was not published during his lifetime. When he died in 1981 his sister found the document and edited it for publication which occurred in 1984. The following advice was given by Hemingway to the aspiring writer. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1984, With Hemingway: A Year in Key West and Cuba by Arnold Samuelson, Quote Page 11, Random House, New York. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

Don’t get discouraged because there’s a lot of mechanical work to writing. There is, and you can’t get out of it. I rewrote the first part of A Farewell to Arms at least fifty times. You’ve got to work it over. The first draft of anything is shit. When you first start to write you get all the kick and the reader gets none, but after you learn to work it’s your object to convey everything to the reader so that he remembers it not as a story he had read but something that happened to himself.

Apparently, this was written while the guidance was still fresh in the mind of Samuelson. The accuracy depends on the correctness and probity of Samuelson and his sister.

The key citation above was identified by top researcher Barry Popik, and his discussion of this topic is available here.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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That’s Not Writing; That’s Just Typing

Truman Capote? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The authors of The Beat Generation were an influential disaffected group whose works jolted the culture of 1950s America. The spontaneous prose technique employed by the central figure Jack Kerouac in the composition of his 1957 novel “On the Road” was acclaimed and disparaged. The most trenchant criticism reportedly was delivered by author Truman Capote:

That’s not writing, that’s typing

Did Capote really say this? What were the circumstances?

Quote Investigator: The phrasing of this censorious expression was variable. Truman Capote used distinct versions in 1957 and 1959. In 1957 he criticized the author Colin Wilson together with other writers whose literary style he deemed deficient. In 1959 he attacked Jack Kerouac and other Beat-Generation authors.

The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in an interview with Capote published in the Spring-Summer 1957 issue of “The Paris Review”.[ref] Spring-Summer 1957, The Paris Review, Number 16, Truman Capote, The Art of Fiction No. 17, Interviewed by Pati Hill, Paris Review, Inc., Flushing, New York. (Online archive of The Paris Review at theparisreview.org; accessed March 27, 2016) link [/ref] The topic was writing style, and Capote responded by passing judgment on several of his fellow authors; he placed them into disjoint idiosyncratic categories: the stylist, the styleless stylist, and the nonstylist. The last category was censured. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] Spring-Summer 1957, The Paris Review, Number 16, Truman Capote, The Art of Fiction No. 17, Interviewed by Pati Hill, Start Page 35, Quote Page 47, Paris Review, Inc., Flushing, New York. (The online text at theparisreview.org differs slightly from the microfilm text: The word “bond” is capitalized in the microfilm text)(Verified on microfilm)[/ref]

But yes, there is such an animal as a nonstylist. Only they’re not writers. They’re typists. Sweaty typists blacking up pounds of Bond with formless, eyeless, earless messages.

The instance above differed from the popular modern instances by employing the forms “writers” and “typists” instead of “writing” and “typing’. Capote was criticizing a group of authors, but only one was named during the interview:

Colin Wilson? Another typist.

Great thanks to Terry Teachout who located the above citation and shared it with QI on Twitter.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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History Is Just One Damn Thing after Another

Arnold J. Toynbee? Max Plowman? H. A. L. Fisher? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The famous historian Arnold J. Toynbee wrote a monumental 12-volume work titled “A Study of History” in which he delineated the trajectories of several major human civilizations. Surprisingly, a comically depreciatory definition of history is attributed to him. Here are two versions:

History is just one damn fact after another.
History is just one damned thing after another.

This thought seems out of character for Toynbee. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: QI believes that this statement about the contingency of history was built upon an earlier expression which emerged circa 1909:

Life is just one damned thing after another.

The Quote Investigator website article tracing the above saying is available here. This entry will concentrate on tracing the evolution of the variant remark about history.

In 1932 a journal called “The Adelphi” published “Keyserling’s Challenge” by Max Plowman who was very unhappy with treatises that emphasized the naïve collection and reiteration of miscellaneous facts. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1932 December, The Adelphi (New Series), Section: The Adelphi Forum, Keyserling’s Challenge by Max Plowman, Start Page 212, Quote Page 213, The Adelphi, Bloomsbury Street, London. (Verified with scans; thanks to the University of California, Berkeley library system)[/ref]

So, like savages before their gods, they worship facts. And in return, the facts hit them like hailstones. Life is just one damned fact after another. They turn to collecting facts—laying them down—making “Outlines” of every real and fancied fact in the universe, until “truth” becomes an endless succession of stepping-stones that have a way of disappearing into the bog as soon as they are passed over. . .

Plowman was critical of the saying in boldface. He asserted the primacy of elements that were non-material and not easily reducible to simple facts such as community, emotion, and beauty. This instance of the saying did not employ the word “history”; hence, it did not completely match the expression under examination.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Lyricist Versus Composer: The Song “Ol’ Man River”

Oscar Hammerstein II? Dorothy Hammerstein? Leonard Lyons?

Dear Quote Investigator: The division of credit between music composers and lyricists can be controversial. Some lyricists believe that their song writing skills are not given adequate respect. One vivid anecdote revealed the unhappiness of Dorothy Hammerstein who was the wife of the prominent Broadway song creator Oscar Hammerstein II.

During an extravagant New York gala Dorothy overheard a man effusively praising the song “Ol’ Man River”. The man’s remarks concluded with acclaim for the genius of Jerome Kern. Dorothy stepped forward and responded energetically:

Jerome Kern wrote ‘dum, dum, dum-dum’. My husband wrote “Ol’ Man River”.

Would you please explore the provenance of this tale?

Quote Investigator: The song “Ol’ Man River” was included in the 1927 theatrical production “Show Boat”. The earliest evidence of this story schema located by QI was published in the gossip column of Leonard Lyons in 1949; however, the aggrieved response was from Oscar Hammerstein II instead of his wife. Boldface has been added to excerpts. The ellipsis was present in the original text:[ref] 1949 October 31, The Canton Repository, Broadway Gazette by Leonard Lyons, (Syndicated, Dateline: New York), Quote Page 18, Column 5, Canton, Ohio. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Jules Styne, the composer of “High Button Shoes” and the forthcoming “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” was discussing the popular tendency to ascribe a hit song only to the composer and neglect the lyricist. He told of the time a series of Kern-Hammerstein songs were referred to as “Jerome Kern’s hits,” at a dinner where Oscar Hammerstein was to speak … “I guess that when Jerry Kern wrote the ‘Show Boat’ songs, they came out like this,” said Hammerstein, who then hummed “Old Man River,” and ran his fingers over his lips to produce a dribbling sound.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Insanity Is Hereditary. You Can Get It from Your Children

Sam Levenson? Oscar Levant? W. C. Fields? Helen Gorn Sutin? Dave Berg? Ann Landers? Erma Bombeck? Grace Kelly?

Dear Quote Investigator: Many parents concur with a very funny quip that reverses the traditional notion of inheritance:

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

This joke has been attributed to the newspaper columnist Erma Bombeck, the television host Sam Levenson, and the comedian W. C. Fields. Would you please resolve this ambiguity?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI was published on April 6, 1961 in an Oklahoma newspaper within a column containing a miscellaneous set of short comical items. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1961 April 6, The Ada Weekly News, Strayed From the Heard by Connie Nelson, Quote Page 4, Column 1, Ada, Oklahoma. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children.
—Sam Levenson

During the same time period, the syndicated columnist Walter Winchell printed the jest with an identical attribution:[ref] 1961 April 7, San Diego Union, Walter Winchell’s America, Quote Page A16, Column 5, San Diego, California. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Sam Levenson’s merciless truth: “Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children!”

During the following years: Oscar Levant employed the joke; Ann Landers and Erma Bombeck placed it in their respective newspaper columns; and Grace Kelly used a variant quip. Nevertheless, QI believes that Sam Levenson should receive credit for this witticism.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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People Who Like This Sort of Thing Will Find This the Sort of Thing They Like

Abraham Lincoln? Artemus Ward? George Bernard Shaw? Max Beerbohm? Muriel Spark?

Dear Quote Investigator: A popular anecdote asserts that Abraham Lincoln was obliged to listen to a prolix lecture about spiritualism by an enthusiastic friend. After the discourse was complete, Lincoln’s opinion was sought, and he replied with a humorously redundant non-committal statement designed to be inoffensive. Here are three versions:

1) People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.
2) For people who like that kind of thing, that is the kind of thing they like
3) For those who like that sort of thing I should think it just the sort of thing they would like.

Other prominent figures have been credited with this line such as the wit Max Beerbohm and novelist Muriel Spark. I am suspicious of the attribution to Lincoln. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: QI hypothesizes that the seed of this family of expressions was sown by the popular humorist Charles Farrar Browne who was known to audiences by his pseudonym Artemus Ward. In 1863 he created advertising material for a set of lectures he was performing. He included parodic testimonials from fictional people, and one ersatz supporter was named “O. Abe”. The name “Artemus” was misspelled as “Artemas” in the following passage from a Maine newspaper in October 1863. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1863 October 23, Daily Eastern Argus, (Short untitled item), Quote Page 4, Column 1, Portland, Maine. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

Artemas Ward among other puffs of his lectures has the following from “Old Abe:”,

Dear Sir–I have never heard any of your lectures, but from what I can learn I should say that for people who like the kind of lectures you deliver, they are just the kind of lectures such people like.
Yours, respectably, O. Abe.

The letter penned by Ward was printed in multiple newspapers. The words became linked to Abraham Lincoln because of the suggestive name “Abe”. Over time the phrasing evolved, and a variety of anecdotes were constructed to accompany the expression.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Youth Is Wasted on the Young

George Bernard Shaw? Oscar Wilde? Irvin Cobb? Michel de Montaigne? John Brunner? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A very popular acerbic adage combines wisdom and wistfulness together with a modicum of jealousy:

Youth is wasted on the young.

These words have been attributed to two famous Irish wits: George Bernard Shaw and Oscar Wilde. Oddly, I have not seen any precise citations. Would you please help?

Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in a syndicated newspaper column called “Cook-Coos” by Ted Cook in February 1931.[ref] 1931 February 14, Rockford Register-Republic, Cook-Coos by Ted Cook (King Features Syndicate), Quote Page 8, Column 1, Rockford, Illinois. (GenealogyBank)[/ref] The expression was ascribed to George Bernard Shaw, and the central meaning was congruent to modern instances; however, the phrasing was quite different Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1931 February 14, Nevada State Journal, Cook-Coos by Ted Cook (King Features Syndicate), Quote Page 5, Column 2, Reno, Nevada. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

Someone asked Bernard Shaw what, in his opinion, is the most beautiful thing in this world.

“Youth,” he replied, “is the most beautiful thing in this world—and what a pity that it has to be wasted on children!”

QI has not yet identified an interview with Shaw containing the above remark; hence, the attribution was indirect. In the following months and years there was an efflorescence of similar statements linked to Shaw employing highly-variable phrasing. No closely matching written remark has been found in the corpus of Shaw; thus, residual uncertainty remains.

Attributions to Oscar Wilde were in circulation by 1963, but QI has found no substantive support for the linkage.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Act One: Get Character Up a Tree. Act Two: Throw Rocks. Act Three: Get Character Down.

Vladimir Nabokov? Harry B. Smith? Augustus Thomas? George M. Cohan? George Abbott? Steven Spielberg? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Recently, I saw a fascinating quotation about writing that was attributed to the brilliant prose stylist Vladimir Nabokov:

The writer’s job is to get the main character up a tree, and then once they are up there, throw rocks at them.

This figurative representation of plot mechanics was shrewd and vibrant, but I do not think that Nabokov would grammatically pair the phrase “the main character” with the pronoun “them”. Would you please explore the origin of this storytelling advice?

Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence that Vladimir Nabokov made this statement. He was born in 1899, and the earliest strong match known to QI was published shortly before that date.

In November 1897 the “Bridgeport Herald” of Bridgeport, Connecticut discussed several contemporary dramatic productions within a section titled “At the Theatres”. The newspaper presented the following anonymous guidance for playwrights. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1897 November 21, Bridgeport Herald, At The Theatres, Quote Page 9, Column 3, Bridgeport, Connecticut. (Google News Archive)[/ref]

The best advice ever given writers of farce is in these words: “In the first act get your principal character up a tree; in the second act, throw stones at him; in the third, get him down gracefully.” This recipe Mr. Smith has followed in writing “The Wizard of the Nile.”

The libretto of the operetta “The Wizard of the Nile” was written by Harry B. Smith who was a very popular and prolific writer for the American stage. The passage above asserted that Smith adhered to the formula, but the text did not name Smith as originator. In later years the formula was assigned directly to Smith.

This initial citation was located by top researcher Barry Popik, and his discussion of this topic is available here.

In December 1897 the “Fitchburg Sentinel” of Fitchburg, Massachusetts presented the same formula for the construction of a humorous play:[ref] 1897 December 23, Fitchburg Sentinel, Frank Daniels in “The Idol’s Eye”, Quote Page 3, Column 3, Fitchburg, Massachusetts. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

Following the approved recipe for farce writing, the author manages to get Mr. Daniels up a tree in the first act, he throws stones at him in the second, and in the third act he gets him down again. The detail of the story is spoken of as fully as clever and amusing as was “The Wizard of the Nile,” and the other characters are even stronger.

This stratagem for designing narratives has been circulating for more than one hundred and fifteen years. The attribution has shifted over time to point to storytellers who were active in popular media during different eras such as Harry B. Smith, George M. Cohan, and Steven Spielberg. Certainly, this schema has been re-expressed by many individuals, yet the originator has remained anonymous.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Life Is Just One Damn Thing After Another

Mark Twain? Lilian Bell? Elbert Hubbard? Frank Ward O’Malley? Bruce Calvert? H. L. Mencken? Charles Dickens? Edna St. Vincent Millay? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following statement of exasperation and resignation has been attributed to the luminary Mark Twain, the aphorist Elbert Hubbard, and the journalist Frank Ward O’Malley:

Life is just one damn thing after another.

This situation is confusing. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: The earliest strong evidence appeared in 1909 when several instances were published in periodicals. In addition, a book titled “The Concentrations of Bee” by Lilian Bell included the following passage. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1909, The Concentrations of Bee by Lilian Bell, Quote Page 241, Grosset & Dunlap, New York. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

“Bob has a motto on his wall which says ‘Life is just one damned thing after another!'” said Jimmie. But I refused to smile. I was too distinctly annoyed.

The lead time for publishing a book has traditionally been lengthy; hence, Lilian Bell may have written her novel before 1909. Bell stated within the text that the adage was already being posted on walls.

On March 5, 1909 “The Wilkes-Barre Times-Leader” of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania printed the small filler item shown below.[ref] 1909 March 5, Wilkes-Barre Times-Leader, (Filler item), Quote Page 6, Column 5, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. (GenealogyBank)[/ref] This was the earliest instance known to QI with a complete date; it was located by top researcher Bill Mullins, and it was included in the important reference “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs”:[ref] 2012, The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs, Compiled by Charles Clay Doyle, Wolfgang Mieder, and Fred R. Shapiro, Quote Page 144, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper) [/ref]

During the following weeks, months, and years the popular saying was widely disseminated. In December 1909 Elbert Hubbard printed the expression without attribution in a journal he was editing called “The Philistine”. In March 1910 a man named Bruce Calvert was credited with the saying. In 1919 the prominent cultural commentator H. L. Mencken ascribed the phrase to Mark Twain. After the death of Frank Ward O’Malley in 1932 some obituary notices credited him with the saying. In 1942 Mencken reconsidered his judgement and linked the saying to both O’Malley and Hubbard. Detailed information is given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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