The Factory of the Future Will Have Only Two Employees, a Man and a Dog

Warren Bennis? Fred Lamond? Jerry L. Benefield? British Post Office Engineering Union? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A humorous and cautionary prediction states that the automated factory of the future will have only two employees: one human and one dog:

  • The human feeds the dog.
  • The dog makes sure no one touches the equipment.

This notion has been attributed to Professor of Business Administration Warren Bennis and others. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the trade journal “Datamation” in 1978. Journalist Fred Lamond noted that the development of increasingly powerful microprocessors was facilitating new types automation. Lamond published a wry joke circulating in Britain:[1]1978 November 1, Datamation, Volume 24, Number 11, Europeans Blame Computers by Fred Lamond, Start Page 107, Quote Page 107 and 110, Technical Publishing Company: A Dunn and Bradstreet Company, … Continue reading

“How many people are required to maintain a new System X electronic exchange?” runs a rather bitter joke in the British Post Office Engineering Union. Answer: “A man and a dog.” “What does the man do?” “Feed the dog.” “What does the dog do?” “Make damn sure neither the man nor anybody else gets his fingers on the equipment.”

Lamond did not provide a precise attribution. Thus, droll remark is difficult to trace because of its variability. Currently, the creator remains anonymous. Warren Bennis did employ this joke in 1988 and 1989, but he disclaimed authorship as indicated further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “The Factory of the Future Will Have Only Two Employees, a Man and a Dog”

References

References
↑1 1978 November 1, Datamation, Volume 24, Number 11, Europeans Blame Computers by Fred Lamond, Start Page 107, Quote Page 107 and 110, Technical Publishing Company: A Dunn and Bradstreet Company, Barrington, Illinois. (Verified with scans; Internet Archive)

It Is Classic Because of a Certain Eternal and Irrepressible Freshness

Edith Wharton? Ezra Pound? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A classic work must be timeless, and it must also exhibit an irrepressible freshness. This notion has been attributed to the prominent U.S. novelist Edith Wharton and the well-known poet and critic Ezra Pound. Would you please help me to resolve this uncertainty?

Quote Investigator: In 1934 Ezra Pound published “ABC of Reading” which included the following passage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1960 (1934 Copyright), ABC of Reading by Ezra Pound, Section: Warning, Quote Page 13 and 14, New Directions Publishing Corporation, New York. (Verified with scans)

A classic is classic not because it conforms to certain structural rules, or fits certain definitions (of which its author had quite probably never heard). It is classic because of a certain eternal and irrepressible freshness.

QI has found no substantive evidence that Edith Wharton used this saying. She died in 1937, and she received credit by 2006.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “It Is Classic Because of a Certain Eternal and Irrepressible Freshness”

References

References
↑1 1960 (1934 Copyright), ABC of Reading by Ezra Pound, Section: Warning, Quote Page 13 and 14, New Directions Publishing Corporation, New York. (Verified with scans)

We Have Only the Present Moment, Sparkling Like a Star in Our Hands — and Melting Like a Snowflake

Marie Beynon Ray? Francis Bacon? Henry David Thoreau? W. Somerset Maugham? Booth Tarkington?

Dear Quote Investigator: Our life on Earth does not extend forever. A writer once used two vivid and clashing metaphors to describe this precious moment:

Sparkling like a star in our hands and melting like a snowflake

This figurative language has been attributed to English philosopher Francis Bacon and U.S. self-help author Marie Beynon Ray. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Francis Bacon penned this remark. He died in 1626, and the saying was attributed to him centuries later in 2001.

In 1952 Marie Beynon Ray published “The Best Years of Your Life” in which she discussed enjoying a full life during retirement years. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1952, The Best Years of Your Life by Marie Beynon Ray, Quote Page 82, Little, Brown and Company, Boson, Massachusetts, (Google Books snippet match; not yet verified with hardcopy by QI)

But we are not living in eternity. We have only the present moment, sparkling like a star in our hands — and melting like a snowflake.
We’d better get started.

QI believes Marie Beynon Ray deserves credit for the saying above. Other writers have penned thematically related statements about the importance of the present moment. Here are some chronologically ordered examples.

Continue reading “We Have Only the Present Moment, Sparkling Like a Star in Our Hands — and Melting Like a Snowflake”

References

References
↑1 1952, The Best Years of Your Life by Marie Beynon Ray, Quote Page 82, Little, Brown and Company, Boson, Massachusetts, (Google Books snippet match; not yet verified with hardcopy by QI)

Sliding Down a Barrister

Dorothy Parker? Mae West? Alexander Woollcott? A. E. Mortimer? Mark Barron? Meyer Levin? Billy Boner? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The U.S. poet and wit Dorothy Parker has received credit for scandalous wordplay based on the following phrases:

Sliding down a banister
Sliding down a barrister

Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared within a January 1933 column published in the “Daily News” of New York City which paid teachers for comical items inadvertently penned by students:[1] 1933 January 18, Daily News, $2 for Classroom Boners, Quote Page 26, Column 3, New York. (Newspapers_com)

The News will pay $2 for every Classroom Boner published.
A Boner is a humorous expression found in examination papers, etc., by school teachers. Boners must be original. And they must be funny.

A correspondent from Long Island supplied the following item. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:

Billy has a bad habit of sliding down the barristers.
Mrs. A. E. MORTIMER.
88-24 189th St., Hollis, L. I.

In June 1933 gossip columnist Mark Barron attributed an instance to Dorothy Parker:[2] 1933 June 12, The Wilkes-Barre Record, A New Yorker At Large by Mark Barron, Quote Page 8, Column 4, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

This time she doesn’t plan to drop in on London. “The last time I was in England,” she quipped, “I spent the whole time sliding down barristers.”

In 1934 critic and radio broadcaster Alexander Woollcott published the book “While Rome Burns” which included a chapter about Dorothy Parker containing a different instance of the joke:[3] 1934, While Rome Burns by Alexander Woollcott, Chapter: Some Neighbors: IV: Our Mrs. Parker, Quote Page 149, Viking Press, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)

Then I remember her comment on one friend who had lamed herself while in London. It was Mrs. Parker who voiced the suspicion that this poor lady had injured herself while sliding down a barrister.

The above three citations are closely grouped in time; hence, the precise chronology of the wordplay is difficult to discern. Woollcott’s book chapter appeared in preliminary form in an article titled “Our Mrs. Parker” published in “Hearst’s International-Cosmopolitan” magazine in August 1933, but Woollcott did not include the quip in the article.[4]1933 August, Hearst’s International-Cosmopolitan, (Hearst’s International combined with Cosmopolitan), “Our Mrs. Parker” by Alexander Woollcott, Start Page 70, (The target … Continue reading

Here are three hypotheses. One: The wordplay began as a humorous error made by a student which was relayed to the “Daily News”. Dorothy Parker heard the remark, and she employed it. Her prominence caused the quip to be reassigned to her.

Two: The wordplay appeared in the “Daily News”. Dorothy Parker never used the remark, but a columnist or agent decided to reassign it to her because she was a well-known wit. Different versions were assigned to Parker.

Three: Parker crafted the wordplay before 1933. Perhaps she used it during the heyday of the Algonquin Round Table in the 1920s. Because the quip was somewhat risqué it did not immediately appear in newspapers or magazines although it did circulate. Finally, in 1933 it emerged with an attribution to an anonymous student and to Parker.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Sliding Down a Barrister”

References

References
↑1 1933 January 18, Daily News, $2 for Classroom Boners, Quote Page 26, Column 3, New York. (Newspapers_com)
↑2 1933 June 12, The Wilkes-Barre Record, A New Yorker At Large by Mark Barron, Quote Page 8, Column 4, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)
↑3 1934, While Rome Burns by Alexander Woollcott, Chapter: Some Neighbors: IV: Our Mrs. Parker, Quote Page 149, Viking Press, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)
↑4 1933 August, Hearst’s International-Cosmopolitan, (Hearst’s International combined with Cosmopolitan), “Our Mrs. Parker” by Alexander Woollcott, Start Page 70, (The target quotation was absent), International Magazine Co., New York. (Verified with photocopies; great thanks to the Florida librarians)

Artist: The One Thing You Can Claim To Be and Nobody Can Prove You Ain’t

Will Rogers? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The evaluation of art is subjective. The popular U.S. humorist Will Rogers once said something like:

You can call yourself an artist because nobody can prove you ain’t.

Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In 1926 Will Rogers published “Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat to His President” containing a collection of letters nominally addressed to U.S. President Calvin Coolidge. One letter discussed art. Rogers used the expression “Banana Oil”; the smoothness of this oil led to the metaphorical slang meaning of insincere nonsense. The term “maby” meant maybe. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1926, Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat to His President by Will Rogers, Volume 1, Letter addressed to Calvin Coolidge, Date: June 5, 1926, Location: Rome, Italy, Start Page 157, Quote Page 162, Albert … Continue reading

We know about 9-10ths of the stuff going on under the guise of Art is the Banana Oil. They call it Art to get to take off the clothes. When you ain’t nothing else, you are an Artist. It’s the one thing you can claim to be and nobody can prove you ain’t.

No matter how you built anything and how you painted anything, if it accidentally through lack of wars or rain happened to live a few hundreds of years, why its Art now. Maby when the Guy painted it at the time he never got another contract.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Artist: The One Thing You Can Claim To Be and Nobody Can Prove You Ain’t”

References

References
↑1 1926, Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat to His President by Will Rogers, Volume 1, Letter addressed to Calvin Coolidge, Date: June 5, 1926, Location: Rome, Italy, Start Page 157, Quote Page 162, Albert & Charles Boni, New York. (Google Books Full View) link

You Think Your Pain and Your Heartbreak Are Unprecedented in the History of the World, But Then You Read

James Baldwin? Jane Howard? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Reading about other lives and cultures can replace a narrow self-involved vision with a wide open vista. The pains and afflictions of one’s own life are placed into a larger perspective when one reads about the harrowing travails of others. The prominent novelist and playwright James Baldwin once made this point. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In May 1963 journalist Jane Howard published a profile of James Baldwin in “LIFE” magazine. He spoke about his early experiences. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1963 May 24, LIFE, Volume 54, Number 21, ‘Doom and glory of knowing who you are’ by Jane Howard, Start Page 86B, Quote Page 89, Column 1, Time Inc., Chicago, Illinois. (Google Books Full View) … Continue reading

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was Dostoevsky and Dickens who taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who ever had been alive. Only if we face these open wounds in ourselves can we understand them in other people. An artist is a sort of emotional or spiritual historian.

In 1964 James Baldwin provided a narrative describing his life for a television broadcast. “The New York Times” printed excerpts from the program. Baldwin employed a slightly different version of the quotation with “Dostoevsky and Dickens” replaced by the word “books”:[2] 1964 May 31, New York Times, James Baldwin Recalls His Childhood, Quote Page X11, Column 2 and 3, New York. (ProQuest)

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “You Think Your Pain and Your Heartbreak Are Unprecedented in the History of the World, But Then You Read”

References

References
↑1 1963 May 24, LIFE, Volume 54, Number 21, ‘Doom and glory of knowing who you are’ by Jane Howard, Start Page 86B, Quote Page 89, Column 1, Time Inc., Chicago, Illinois. (Google Books Full View) link
↑2 1964 May 31, New York Times, James Baldwin Recalls His Childhood, Quote Page X11, Column 2 and 3, New York. (ProQuest)

I Have Nothing To Declare Except My Genius

Oscar Wilde? Stuart Mason? Christopher Sclater Millard? Robert Ross? Elizabeth P. O’Connor? Arthur Ransome? Frank Harris? Sylvestre Dorian? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: According to legend, the famous wit Oscar Wilde delivered a comically audacious line when he first entered the United States during his lecture tour. A customs official in New York asked him if he had anything to declare, and he supposedly replied:

I have nothing to declare but my genius.

Would you please explore the provenance of this remark?

Quote Investigator: Oscar Wilde entered New York in January 1882. Yet, the earliest evidence of the quip known to QI appeared in 1910. The phrasing has varied over time. Often it has been presented from a third person perspective. Here is a summary with dates:

1910: I have nothing to declare except my genius
1912: He had nothing to declare except his genius
1912: He had nothing to declare but his genius
1913: I have nothing to declare but my genius
1917: He had nothing to declare save his genius
1917: He had nothing to declare but genius
1918: Nothing—except—my genius
1923: Only my genius
1925: Nothing but my genius
1934: I have nothing but my genius to declare

The remark appeared within “The Oscar Wilde Calendar” of 1910 compiled by Stuart Mason, a pseudonym for Christopher Sclater Millard. For each day of the year a quotation ascribed to Wilde was presented, and the following appeared for January 4th. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1910, The Oscar Wilde Calendar: A Quotation from the Works of Oscar Wilde for Every Day in the Year with Some Unrecorded Sayings Selected by Stuart Mason (Christopher Sclater Millard), Quotation for … Continue reading

At the New York Custom House: “I have nothing to declare except my genius.”

Millard mentioned Robert Ross in the acknowledgement section of the calendar. Ross was a close friend and literary executor of Wilde. He may have supplied the quotation to Millard:[2]1910, The Oscar Wilde Calendar: A Quotation from the Works of Oscar Wilde for Every Day in the Year with Some Unrecorded Sayings Selected by Stuart Mason, Section: Acknowledgement, Quote Page 91, … Continue reading

Many quotations are made from works little known to the general reader. Some are taken from unpublished manuscripts, others are traditional. For many of the latter the compiler is indebted to the courtesy of Mr Robert Ross.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “I Have Nothing To Declare Except My Genius”

References

References
↑1 1910, The Oscar Wilde Calendar: A Quotation from the Works of Oscar Wilde for Every Day in the Year with Some Unrecorded Sayings Selected by Stuart Mason (Christopher Sclater Millard), Quotation for January Four, Quote Page 7, Frank Palmer, London. (HathiTrust Full View) link
↑2 1910, The Oscar Wilde Calendar: A Quotation from the Works of Oscar Wilde for Every Day in the Year with Some Unrecorded Sayings Selected by Stuart Mason, Section: Acknowledgement, Quote Page 91, Frank Palmer, London. (HathiTrust Full View) link

To Be True Music It Must Repeat the Thoughts and Aspirations of the People and the Time. My People Are Americans. My Time Is Today

George Gershwin? Bennett Cerf? Edward Jablonski? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: U.S. pianist and composer George Gershwin is known for works such as “Rhapsody in Blue” and “I Got Rhythm”. He believed that music should embody the thoughts and aspirations of a people and a time. He said his people were Americans and his time was now. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In 1927 George Gershwin published an essay titled “Jazz Is the Voice of the American Soul” in “Theatre Magazine”. His concluding paragraph included the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1927 March, Theatre Magazine: For the Lovers of Stage and Screen, Volume 45, Number 311, Jazz Is the Voice of the American Soul by George Gershwin, Start Page 14, Quote Page 52B, Theatre Magazine … Continue reading

I do not know what the next decade will disclose in music. No composer knows. But to be true music it must repeat the thoughts and aspirations of the people and the time. My people are Americans. My time is to-day.

Of to-morrow, and of my to-morrow, as an interpreter of American life in music, I am sure of but one thing: That the essence of future music will hold enough of the melody and harmony of to-day to reveal its origin. It will be sure to have a tincture of the derided yesterday, which has been accepted to-day, and which perhaps to-morrow will be exalted—jazz.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “To Be True Music It Must Repeat the Thoughts and Aspirations of the People and the Time. My People Are Americans. My Time Is Today”

References

References
↑1 1927 March, Theatre Magazine: For the Lovers of Stage and Screen, Volume 45, Number 311, Jazz Is the Voice of the American Soul by George Gershwin, Start Page 14, Quote Page 52B, Theatre Magazine Company, New York. (Verified with images from Library of Congress)

Green Is the Prime Color of the World, and That From Which Its Loveliness Arises

Pedro Calderón de la Barca? Craufurd Tait Ramage? Denis Florence MacCarthy? Stephanie Tourles? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Metaphorically, the deity has flung a bucket of green at our world which has brought forth its loveliness. The primary color of Earth is green because of its beautiful foliage. The Spanish dramatist and poet Pedro Calderón de la Barca wrote on this theme. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: Pedro Calderón de la Barca died in 1681. A collection of his works including “La Vanda, y la Flor” (“The Scarf and the Flower”) appeared in print in 1726. The crucial quotation was spoken by a character named “Lisi” (or “Lisida”). Here is the original Spanish. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1726, Octava Parte De Comedias Verdaderas Del Celebre Poeta Español D. Pedro Calderon De La Barca, (Eighth Part Of True Comedies Of The Celebrated Spanish Poet D. Pedro Calderon De La Barca), La … Continue reading

Lisi: Yo asi prosigo:
la verde, es color primera
del Mundo, y en quien consiste
su hermosura, pues se viste
de verde la Primevera:
la vista mas lisonjera
es aquel verde ornamento,
pues sin voz, y con aliento
nacen de varios colores
en cuna verde las flores,
que son estrellas del viento.

In 1853 Irish poet and translator Denis Florence MacCarthy published “Dramas of Calderon: Tragic, Comic, and Legendary” which included “The Scarf and the Flower”. MacCarthy performed a loose English translation designed to maintain rhyme and meter:[2]1853, Dramas of Calderon: Tragic, Comic, and Legendary by Pedro Calderón de la Barca, Translated from the Spanish principally in the metre of the original, by Denis Florence M‘Carthy, Volume 2 of … Continue reading

LISIDA.
I thus proceed:
Green is the colour God doth fling
First on the naked world, a dress
Which doth increase its loveliness—
It is the colour of the spring.
The fairest sight the seasons bring
Is that green ornament that sees.
Voiceless and breathless ‘neath the trees,
The many-tinted flowers take birth
On the green cradle of the earth—
The trembling stars of every breeze.

“God” and “fling” were not present in the original Spanish text.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Green Is the Prime Color of the World, and That From Which Its Loveliness Arises”

References

References
↑1 1726, Octava Parte De Comedias Verdaderas Del Celebre Poeta Español D. Pedro Calderon De La Barca, (Eighth Part Of True Comedies Of The Celebrated Spanish Poet D. Pedro Calderon De La Barca), La Vanda, y la Flor (The Scarf and the Flower), Start Page 288, Quote Page 301, En Madrid: En casa de la Viuda de Blàs de Villanueve, año de 1726. (Google Books Full View) link
↑2 1853, Dramas of Calderon: Tragic, Comic, and Legendary by Pedro Calderón de la Barca, Translated from the Spanish principally in the metre of the original, by Denis Florence M‘Carthy, Volume 2 of 2, The Scarf and the Flower (La Banda y la Flor), Start Page 261, Quote Page 297. Charles Dolman, London. (Google Books Full View) link

The Time To Relax Is When You Don’t Have Time For It

Sydney J. Harris? Beulah Schacht? Sol Margoles? Evan Esar? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A nearly paradoxical piece of advice states that the best time to relax is when you feel unable to relax because of time pressures. Would you please explore this adage.

Quote Investigator: Here is a family of closely related statements with dates:

1954 Oct: The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.
1954 Nov: The time to relax is when you’re too busy to relax.
1960 Nov: The best time to relax is when you are the busiest.
1968: The best time to relax is when you don’t have time to relax.
1973 Jan: The best time to relax is when you don’t have the time.

The earliest match located by QI appeared in the syndicated newspaper column of Sydney J. Harris in October 1954. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1954 October 26, Chicago Daily News, Strictly Personal: You’re Too Busy?, Time To Relax by Sydney J. Harris, Quote Page 18, Column 6, Chicago, Illinois. (GenealogyBank)

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it; when you get the time, you are generally too exhausted to enjoy it. The way to relax (I have found, at least) is to spread it out during the week, so that the tensions don’t snap into listless apathy at the weekend.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “The Time To Relax Is When You Don’t Have Time For It”

References

References
↑1 1954 October 26, Chicago Daily News, Strictly Personal: You’re Too Busy?, Time To Relax by Sydney J. Harris, Quote Page 18, Column 6, Chicago, Illinois. (GenealogyBank)