Quote Investigator® – Page 61

Dialogue Origin: “Now That He Is Minister of War I Feel Safe” “Why?” “Well, When He Was Minister of Fuel We Had No Fuel”

Winston Churchill? Alexander Ince? Leonard Lyons? Emanuel Shinwell? John Williams Hughes? Drew Pearson? Eleanor Boardman? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Ensuring the smooth operation of the industry sector that supplies energy to a country is a crucial task. Here is an example of the type of mockery aimed at a politician who botched this important mission:

“Wonderful news about the new Minister of War. Peace is assured!”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, when he was Minster of Coal we had no coal. Now that he is Minister of War, surely we shall have no war.”

This joke has been attributed to statesman Winston Churchill. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The “New York Herald Tribune” reported that British Prime Minister Clement Attlee changed several ministerial appointees on October 7, 1947. Emanuel Shinwell who had been the Minister of Fuel and Power was transferred to the post of Secretary of State for War (also known as Minister of War).¹

The earliest match for the quotation located by QI appeared in the syndicated U.S. newspaper column of Leonard Lyons on October 25, 1947. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

Alexander Ince reports that when Emanuel Shinwell was removed as minister of fuel and became minister of war, his friends rejoiced and said: “Peace at last is assured us. Because when Shinwell was minister of fuel, we had no fuel. And now he’s minister of war, so we’ll have no war.”

This report indicated that the creator of the quip was anonymous. Also, the remark originated as a friendly barb and not a harsh criticism.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If You Can Pick Up After a Crushing Defeat, and Go On To Win Again, You Are Going To Be a Champion Someday

Wilma Rudolph? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: To achieve victory you must be able to handle defeat without collapsing or becoming discouraged. No one goes through life completely undefeated. Olympic gold-medal-winning runner Wilma Rudolph once indicated that winners must be able to pick themselves up after crushing defeat. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Wilma Rudolph described in her 1977 autobiography participating in an important athletic meet in Tuskegee, Alabama when she was a teenager. She had experienced great success in competitions in the past, but at this event she did not win a single race, and she did not qualify for anything. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The lesson was, winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday. But if losing destroys you, it’s all over. You’ll never be able to put it all back together again.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Talent Is a Dreadfully Cheap Commodity, Cheaper Than Table Salt

Stephen King? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Years ago the famous horror writer Stephen King was discussing how to become a successful artist, and he employed vivid figurative language that I can still recall. He indicated that talent was as common and cheap as table salt. His bracing insight was that success required great effort combined with talent. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1981 Stephen King published his analysis of the horror genre emphasizing the years from 1950 to 1980 in the book “Stephen King’s Danse Macabre”. Within the chapter “An Annoying Autobiographical Pause” he discussed the inability of talent by itself to guarantee triumph. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

I think that writers are made, not born or created out of dreams or childhood trauma—that becoming a writer (or a painter, actor, director, dancer, and so on) is a direct result of conscious will. Of course there has to be some talent involved, but talent is a dreadfully cheap commodity, cheaper than table salt.

King underscored the need for sustained thought and effort:

What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work and study; a constant process of honing. Talent is a dull knife . . .

Discipline and constant work are the whetstones upon which the dull knife of talent is honed until it becomes sharp enough, hopefully, to cut through even the toughest meat and gristle.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: There Is No Royal and Flower Strewn Road To Success

Madam C. J. Walker? Sarah J. Walker? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The cosmetics entrepreneur Madam C. J. Walker once spoke to a journalist about her enormous accomplishments. She indicated that her pathway to success was not strewn with flowers, and her ascent required hard work and sleepless nights. Would please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1917 “The New York Times” interviewed Sarah J. Walker (Madam C. J. Walker) about her recently constructed mansion and her thriving cosmetics company. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

What wealth is hers, she says, had been acquired through perseverance, persistency, and hard work. “Perseverance”, she remarked the other day, “is my motto.” . . .

“I was born forty-nine years ago,” she said in speaking of her life, “was married at 14, and was left a widow at 20 with a little girl to support. If I have accomplished anything in life it is because I have been willing to work hard. I never yet started anything doubtingly, and I have always believed in keeping at things with a vim.

In 1919 “The Dallas Express” published a piece about Walker that included her remark about flowers:²

At another time when asked about her great success Madam Walker said, “There is no royal and flower strewn road to success, and if there is I have not found it for what success I have obtained is the result of many sleepless nights and real hard work. I had all kinds of doubters and skeptics to deal with; the principal obstacle I had to deal with was the traditional distrust and incredulity of the public, owing to their having often been deceived with worthless preparations . . .

Walker died in May 1919 a few months after the article above was printed.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Bitcoin Is Probably Rat Poison Squared

Warren Buffett? Charlie Munger? Liz Claman? Becky Quick? Mark Cuban? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The value of bitcoin has fluctuated dramatically. Extreme language has been used to either praise or vilify this prominent digital currency. The superinvestors Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger have made harsh pronouncements. Apparently, Munger said bitcoin was rat poison, and Buffett went further and said it was rat poison squared. Would you please help me to find citations?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Berkshire Hathaway Chairman Warren Buffett and Vice Chairman Charlie Munger have employed a sequence of hostile colorful expressions to decry bitcoin. In May 2013 Fox Business journalist Liz Claman conducted a joint interview with Charlie Munger, Warren Buffett, and Bill Gates. During the interview Munger described bitcoin as rat poison. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Liz Claman: I just had to get your thought on Bitcoin, this… this… this digital currency that’s out there that people say, oh it might be the next big thing. What do you think?

Charlie Munger: I think it’s rat poison.
(Laughter)

Warren Buffet: Put him down as undecided.
(Laughter)

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Don’t ASS-U-ME Anything

Oscar Wilde? Felix Unger? Tony Randall? John Glick? Clarence L. Lollar? Dick West? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Making unfounded assumptions causes endless difficulties. A clever quip highlighting this problem is based on splitting a word into three parts:

It is dangerous to assume because you might make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”.

This joke was told in a episode of the popular television sitcom “The Odd Couple” in 1973. Did the authors of the teleplay create this joke?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in a 1957 advertisement published in an Espanola, New Mexico newspaper. The advertiser was an automobile insurance provider called the Horace DeVargas Agency, but QI believes the joke was already in circulation, and the attribution should be anonymous. Boldface added to excerpts:¹

. . . I urge you, as a driver, to observe the rules of traffic and highway safety in the operation of your car.

Don’t ass-u-me anything, when you drive because, you’ll make an ass of u and me—ass-u-me.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Comparison Is the Thief of Joy

Theodore Roosevelt? Mark Twain? C. S. Lewis? Dwight Edwards? John Powell? Ray Cummings? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Comparing your status to others often produces envy and unhappiness. Here are four instances from a family of pertinent adages:

Comparison is the thief of joy.
The thief of joy is comparison.
Comparison is the death of joy.
Comparison is the death of contentment.

Statesman Theodore Roosevelt, humorist Mark Twain, author C. S. Lewis, and religious figure Dwight Edwards have all been given credit for sayings in this family. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has located no substantive evidence supporting ascriptions to Theodore Roosevelt, Mark Twain, and C. S. Lewis. Tracing this family is difficult, and this article presents a snapshot of current research. The statements above are not semantically identical, but QI believes that this grouping is natural.

The earliest match located by QI appeared in the 1989 book “Happiness Is an Inside Job” by John Powell. This instance referred to self-contentment and not joy. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“Why can’t you be like that. ” “Why don’t you do as well as your brother?” “If you comb your hair down, people won’t notice your big forehead. You’ll look more presentable.”

And so most of us have been taught to compare ourselves with others. And all the professionals agree: Comparison is the death of true self-contentment.

The earliest match using “comparison” and “thief of joy” located by QI appeared in the 2003 religious book “Are You Following Jesus Or Just Fooling Around?!” by Dr. Ray Cummings. He discussed three thieves of joy. The first thief was bitterness; the second thief was complaining, and the third thief was comparison:²

A third thief of joy is comparison. When Satan can’t make you bitter enough to complain, he will seek to lower your self-esteem and allow you to compare.

The 2004 religious book “Connect2God: Instant Messages from God to Teens” by Curt Cloninger included an exact match for the popular modern version of the saying. Cloninger disclaimed credit:³

Somebody once said that comparison is the thief of joy. In other words, if you’re always comparing yourself to other people, then you’ll never be happy.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Bicycle Riding, If Persisted In, Leads To Weakness of Mind, General Lunacy, and Homicidal Mania

The New York Times? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator A major U.S. newspaper supposedly published an article that claims riding a bicycle inevitably leads to general lunacy and homicidal mania. This assertion sounds satirical. Does this article actually exist?

Reply from Quote Investigator: On August 12, 1894 “The New York Times” published an article titled “Lunacy in England” about bicycle riders. The piece was filled with comical exaggerations, and QI believes that it was intended to be humorous. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Still, there is not the slightest doubt that bicycle riding, if persisted in, leads to weakness of mind, general lunacy, and homicidal mania. In the opinion of one of the ablest and most experienced of British lunatics, the habit of watching the revolution of the forward wheel develops in the mind of the bicycle rider a tendency to reason in a circle.

Below are additional excerpts and a conclusion.

Quote Origin: The Lecture Is an Obsolete Practice Dating From the Middle Ages When Books Were Scarce

Virginia Woolf? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Apparently, the prominent English writer Virginia Woolf thought that transmitting knowledge via lectures was a “vain and vicious system”. She also stated that lecturing was “an obsolete practice dating from the Middle Ages”. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Virginia Woolf published the book-length essay “Three Guineas” in 1938. She firmly expressed her disapproval of providing instruction by delivering a speech to an audience. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

If we are asked to lecture we can refuse to bolster up the vain and vicious system of lecturing by refusing to lecture.

Woolf elaborated on her point in the “Notes and References” section at the end of the book. She admitted that many subjects could only be taught with diagrams and personal demonstration. Yet, lectures upon English literature were unjustified:²

. . . it is an obsolete practice dating from the Middle Ages when books were scarce.

Further, Woolf contended that lecturing boosted undesirable psychological traits:

. . . eminence upon a platform encourages vanity and the desire to impose authority.

Also, the practice was inefficient for students and teachers:

. . . after the age of eighteen to continue to sip English literature through a straw, is a habit that seems to deserve the terms vain and vicious; which terms can justly be applied with greater force to those who pander to them.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Greatest Shortcoming of the Human Race Is Man’s Inability To Understand the Exponential Function

Albert A. Bartlett? William Dillinger? Paul A. Tipler? David Suzuki? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: What do the following have in common: computing power, internet communication traffic, human population, energy use? Each has experienced exponential growth. The full implications of such rapid changes are difficult to grasp. A scientist has asserted that the incomprehension of exponential growth is humankind’s most serious flaw. The consequences of obliviousness could be disastrous. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1976 physicist Albert A. Bartlett published a piece in “The Physics Teacher”. He was concerned about the environmental costs of unrestrained growth. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Here is the theme of our presentation:

The greatest shortcoming of the human race is man’s inability to understand the exponential function.

Bartlett wanted physicists to use their knowledge to inform fellow citizens and decision makers:

Physics students and teachers have a great responsibility,

1. to understand the problems and perils of growth, and then
2. to alert the public to these problems and perils, even if this means taking issue with the “experts.”

The best decisions are those made by an enlightened public. It is our task as students and teachers to help roll away the darkness.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.