Quote Investigator® – Page 82

Quote Origin: From 40 to 60, She Needs Personality; And From Then on She Needs Cash

Sophie Tucker? Kathleen Norris? Mary Kay Ash? Mrs. Price Smith? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is an old-fashioned saying about the stages of a woman’s life. It begins with a young child who needs good parents and health. It continues with a young adult who needs good looks followed by a middle-aged person who needs personality. It culminates with an old person who needs cash.

This saying has been credited to the popular entertainer Sophie Tucker nicknamed “The last of the red hot mamas”. The statement has also been attributed to the best-selling novelist and journalist Kathleen Norris. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In October 1935 “The Atlanta Constitution” of Georgia reported on a dinner gathering of supporters of the Tallulah Falls school. The treasurer was attempting to raise funds. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

So the beloved treasurer, Mrs. Price Smith, who is as clever as she is efficient, made an appeal for more money, in this wise:

“From the time a baby girl is born,” she began, “till she is 14 years old, she needs good health. From then until she is 40, she needs good looks. From 40 to 60, she needs personality. And from then on,” continued Mrs. Smith, “she needs cash. Ladies, your treasurer has reached that age when she needs cash.”

Mrs. Price Smith may have created this saying, or she may have simply repeated a statement that was already in circulation. QI does not know which of these possibilities is true.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: A Friend Is a Present You Give Yourself

Robert Louis Stevenson? Betsy Patterson? Harry B. Brockett? Walter Winchell? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Living a full and happy life is facilitated by maintaining a network of steadfast friendships. Here are three versions of a germane adage:

A friend is a present you give yourself.
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
A friend is a gift you give to yourself.

This saying has been attributed to the famous adventure and horror novelist Robert Louis Stevenson, but I have been unable to locate a citation. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has been unable to locate substantive evidence ascribing this statement to Robert Louis Stevenson who died in 1894. He received credit by 1946 which is very late. See the citations presented further below.

The earliest match located by QI appeared in a column by Betsy Patterson published in “The Baltimore Sun” of Maryland in 1917. Patterson presented a verse and stated that “these lines run through my head”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

“A friend is a present you give yourself,”
Says a charming old-time song.
So I put you down with the best of them,
For that is where you belong.
Among the gifts I have given to me,
Most comforting, tried and true,
The one that I oftenest think about
Is the gift of myself to you.

The starting lines suggest that the adage appeared in an earlier song although QI has not yet found such a song. It is also possible that there is no earlier song, and the lines were included to evoke nostalgia. The creator of the adage was not identified.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Go Out There and Do Something Remarkable. Don’t Live Down To Expectations

Wendy Wasserstein? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: We are told that people should live up to expectations. Yet, the chronically underestimated are implicitly told to live down to expectations. A graduation speaker once told an audience to do something remarkable and to refuse to live down to expectations. Would you please help me to trace this guidance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: U.S. playwright Wendy Wasserstein received a Tony Award and a Pulitzer Prize for her 1988 drama “The Heidi Chronicles”. She delivered the commencement address at her alma mater Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts in 1990 offering graduating students the following encouragement. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Take all the goodness, honesty, intelligence, toughness, and wit that you have learned here and don’t compromise them. So much has been written about the women of the nineties. My response is the women of the nineties have yet to make their mark. Go out there and do something remarkable. Don’t live down to expectations. The women of the nineties are you.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: How Can I Know What I Think Till I See What I Say?

Graham Wallas? E. M. Forster? André Gide? Anonymous Little Girl? Anonymous Old Lady? Herbert Samuel? W. H. Auden? C. S. Lewis? Arthur Koestler? Christopher Hollis?

Question for Quote Investigator: Pre-verbal and non-verbal thoughts are vitally important. Yet, there is an intimate relationship between thinking and using language especially when analysis and reflection are required. A family of comical remarks reflect this connection:

How can I know what I think till I see what I say?
How can I tell what I think till I know what I’ve said?
I don’t know what I think until I hear what I say.

Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in the 1926 book “The Art of Thought” by Graham Wallas who was Professor Emeritus of Political Science at the University of London. Wallas suggested that the processes of thinking and expressing were entangled for the poet because the precise selection of words was crucial to success. Wallas attributed the saying under examination to an anonymous young girl. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The little girl had the making of a poet in her who, being told to be sure of her meaning before she spoke, said, “How can I know what I think till I see what I say?” A modern professed thinker must, however, sooner or later in the process of thought, make the conscious effort of expression, with all its risks.

The next match known to QI appeared in the 1927 book “Aspects Of The Novel” by the prominent literary figure E. M. Forster who discussed the recent novel “Les Faux Monnayeurs” (“The Counterfeiters”) by André Gide. Gide’s complex work employed a novel-within-a-novel framework, and its plot was presented via fragments. Forster stated that the novel was “all to pieces logically”.

In the following passage, Forster attributed the saying under examination to an old lady in an anecdote. The phrase “distinguished critic” was a humorous reference to the old lady:²

Another distinguished critic has agreed with Gide—that old lady in the anecdote who was accused by her nieces of being illogical. For some time she could not be brought to understand what logic was, and when she grasped its true nature she was not so much angry as contemptuous. “Logic! Good gracious! What rubbish!” she exclaimed. “How can I tell what I think till I see what I say?” Her nieces, educated young women, thought that she was passée; she was really more up to date than they were.

Thus, the saying was popularized by both Graham Wallas and E. M. Forster although both disclaimed credit for authorship. Instead, the words were ascribed to two anonymous figures: a little girl and an old lady. The saying has also been attributed to Gide. The passage above is not easy to parse. But QI believes that the attribution to Gide is based on a misreading of Forster.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Style Is the Stuff You Get Wrong

Neil Gaiman? Jerry Garcia? Elizabeth McCracken? Robert Burton? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: I have heard two fascinating adages about artistic style:

Style is the stuff you can’t help doing.
Style is the stuff you get wrong.

Both statements were made by the prominent fantasist Neil Gaiman who writes short stories, novels, comic books, and screenplays. Yet, Gaiman credited both phrases to acclaimed guitarist Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead rock band. Would you please examine this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in an interview of Neil Gaiman conducted by journalist Joe McCabe at the Boskone science fiction convention in February 2002. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

I know Jerry Garcia said it once, but I know many people have said it before him, which is “Style is the stuff you can’t help doing.” Style in some ways is the stuff that you do wrong. Because perfect technique would be completely without style. Stuff that lets everybody know that it’s you playing is the falling away from perfect technique. So after you’ve written a few million words, the thing that lets anybody picking up a page read it and say, “Neil wrote that,” is style, it’s the stuff you can’t help doing.

Gaiman credited Garcia with the first adage: “Style is the stuff you can’t help doing.” However, the punctuation of the passage suggests that Gaiman himself crafted the second adage: “Style in some ways is the stuff that you do wrong. ” By 2008 Gaiman had refined the second adage to: “Style is the stuff you get wrong.” Confusingly, Gaiman attributed these words to Garcia.

Uncertainty remains because over the years Gaiman has credited both sayings to Garcia, and neither has yet been found in the interviews and writings of Garcia.

QI hopes that this article will encourage fans of Jerry Garcia, Neil Gaiman, and others to further explore this topic.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It Is Not Possible for One Man To Hold Another Man Down in the Ditch Without Staying Down There With Him

Booker T. Washington? Henry H. Proctor? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous educator and orator Booker T. Washington believed that the disadvantaged in society should be uplifted because a thoughtful program of amelioration would help everyone. During speeches Washington used the metaphor of two individuals fighting in a ditch. If one person wanted to hold the other down then both would be required to stay in the ditch. Booker’s audience ruefully recognized that both individuals would benefit from simply leaving the ditch. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1909 Booker T. Washington published “The Story of the Negro: The Rise of the Race from Slavery” which included the following passage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

. . . the uplifting of the Negro in the South means the uplifting of labour there; for the cause of the Negro is the cause of the man who is farthest down everywhere in the world. Educate him, give him character, and make him efficient as a labourer, and every other portion of the community will be lifted higher. Degrade the Negro, hold him in peonage, ignorance, or any other form of slavery and the great mass of the people in the community will be held down with him. It is not possible for one man to hold another man down in the ditch without staying down there with him.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Self-Consciousness Is the Enemy of All Art

Ray Bradbury? Erica Jong? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The science fiction luminary Ray Bradbury relied deeply on his intuitions and his imagination to compose lyrical prose. He believed that creativity was obstructed by over-thinking and intellectualizing. The following two statements have been attributed to him:

Self-consciousness is the enemy of all art.
Thinking is the enemy of creativity.

Are these quotations genuine? Would you please help me to find citations?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1962 Ray Bradbury wrote an essay titled “The Queen’s Own Evaders, an Afterword” which discussed his seven month sojourn in Ireland where he succeeded in his primary goal of co-authoring the screenplay of “Moby Dick”. Bradbury also learned about the Irish people which later inspired the short play “The Anthem Sprinters”. His essay featured musings on the creative process. Bradbury stated that an artist should not attempt to explain an artwork while it is being created. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

To try to know beforehand is to freeze and kill.
Self-consciousness is the enemy of all art, be it acting, writing, painting, or living itself, which is the greatest art of all.

In 1971 Bradbury addressed the opening banquet of the Rocky Mountain Collegiate Press Association held in Park City, Utah. He presented guidance for writers:²

The speaker said television is the place you learn how to be mediocre. You learn from it, you grow from it, you learn how not to do things.”

“Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. You cannot intellectualize creativity. You can think about something before or after — but not during,” he declared.

These two citations provide solid evidence that Bradbury employed both of the statements mentioned by the questioner. Further, the citations below show that he reiterated these observations later in life.

Quote Origin: A Reputation Is Like a Death Mask. I Wanted To Smash the Mask

Graham Greene? Doris Lessing? Erica Jong?

Question for Quote Investigator: An artist who has achieved a distinctive reputation with critics and the general public is placed into a metaphorical strait jacket. Newly fashioned artworks are expected to be similar to previous artworks. Change and innovation are frowned upon. This notion can be expressed using a harsher analogue:

A reputation is a death mask.

A death mask is a rigidly fixed depiction of an impassive human face obtained via a wax or plaster mold after death. This vivid phrase about reputation has been attributed to three literary figures: Doris Lessing, Graham Greene, and Erica Jong. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Graham Greene acquired a strong literary standing with works such as “Brighton Rock”, “The Power and the Glory”, and “The End of the Affair”. Yet, he did not want his creativity to be constrained by this series of successes. So he changed his style and released a light-hearted work titled “Loser Takes All” in 1955. He described this pivotal episode in his autobiography “Ways of Escape” in 1980. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The mood of escape . . . took me . . . to Monte Carlo . . . to write what I hoped would prove an amusing, agreeably sentimental novella—something which neither my friends nor my enemies would expect. It was to be called Loser Takes All. A reputation is like a death mask. I wanted to smash the mask.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We’d All Like a Reputation for Generosity, and We’d All Like To Buy It Cheap

Mignon McLaughlin? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: December is a season of generosity for many, but the eagerness of participants varies. A friend recently joked that she wanted to achieve a reputation for generosity as cheaply as possible. She disclaimed authorship of this quip. Would you please explore its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in “The Neurotic’s Notebook” by Mignon McLaughlin in 1963. The compendium contained quips, adages, and observations such as the following two items:¹

We’d all like a reputation for generosity, and we’d all like to buy it cheap.

Life marks us all down, so it’s just as well that we start out by overpricing ourselves.

McLaughlin worked as a writer and editor at magazines such as “The Atlantic Monthly”, “Glamour”, and “Vogue” for decades from the 1940s to the 1970s. She was known for her witticisms.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Cannot Cure the World of Sorrows, But We Can Choose To Live in Joy

Joseph Campbell? Diane K. Osbon? Kurt Vonnegut? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: When I watch the news I see endless reports signaling that the world is a mess. Efforts to mend the world are necessary and laudable; however, I am reminded of the advice given by mythology scholar Joseph Campbell. The world has always been a mess, and priority should be given to straightening out our own lives. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This guidance occurred in the 1991 book “Reflections on the Art of Living: A Joseph Campbell Companion” which consisted of material selected and edited by Diane K. Osbon. The following text appeared in a section titled “In the Field”, and Osbon stated that she had collected the words directly from Campbell. The section contained “favorite expressions of his, recorded in my journals over the years in his company”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.
When we talk about settling the world’s problems, we’re barking up the wrong tree.
The world is perfect. It’s a mess. It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.

Below is one additional selected citation.