Quote Investigator® – Page 96

Quote Origin: Somebody Has To Do Something. . . It Seems Pathetic That It Has To Be Us

Jerry Garcia? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Celebrities often use their charisma to highlight social or environmental movements. The prominent guitarist Jerry Garcia of “The Grateful Dead” rock band advocated for the preservation of the world’s rain forests, and he apparently spoke with a mixture of candor, humility, and sadness about his involvement:

Someone has to do something. It’s just incredibly pathetic it has to be us.

Would you please help me to find an exact quotation and citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: On September 13, 1988 members of “The Grateful Dead” participated in a press conference in New York promoting a benefit concert supporting organizations working to preserve rain forests. The lead guitarist delivered a slightly garbled version of the statement specified in the inquiry. YouTube has a short video from the press event, and Garcia speaks the line starting at 47 seconds. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Jerry Garcia: Somebody has to do something. It seems incredibly, in, in fact, it seems pathetic that it has to be us, you know.

The description supplied by the YouTube uploader states that the clip was selected from the personal collection of filmmaker Len Dell’Amico.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: In Etymology Vowels Count for Nothing and Consonants for Very Little

Voltaire? Antoine Court de Gébelin? Louis de Bonald? Edward Moor? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet) has often received credit for a humorous remark about the study of language and its evolution. Here are two versions:

In etymology vowels are nothing, and consonants next to nothing.
Etymology is the science where vowels matter naught and consonants hardly at all.

Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Numerous researchers have been unable to find this statement in the writings of Voltaire who lived between 1694 and 1778. The first attribution to the famous French philosopher known to QI occurred in 1836 which is quite late. See the citation further below.

The earliest thematic match located by QI occurred in a 1775 French book about the origin of language and writing by Antoine Court de Gébelin titled “Monde Primitif, Analysé et Comparé avec le Monde Moderne, Considéré dans l’Histoire Naturelle de la Parole; Ou Origine du Langage et de L’Écriture”. The book presented guiding principles for etymological analysis including the following statement about vowels. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

SIXIÉME PRINCIPE.
Les voyelles ne sont rien dans la comparaison des mots.

Here is one possible rendering in English:

SIXTH PRINCIPLE.
Vowels are nothing in the comparison of words.

The book also proclaimed a principle about consonants that emphasized their mutability. Here is the original French followed by one possible translation:

SEPTIEME PRINCIPE.
Les Consonnes correspondantes ont été sans cesse substituées les unes aux autres, sur-tout celles du même organe.

SEVENTH PRINCIPLE.
The corresponding consonants have been constantly substituted for each other, especially those of the same organ.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: No One Wants a Drill. What They Want Is the Hole

Clayton M. Christensen? Theodore Levitt? L. E. ‘Doc’ Hobbs? Percy H. Whiting? Leo McGivena? Robert G. Seymour? Zig Ziglar? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Companies sell products to solve the problems that their customers encounter. An emphasis on existing products and incremental changes causes an organization to ignore or misunderstand customer motivations. Here is one version of a popular business adage:

People don’t want quarter-inch drill bits. They want quarter-inch holes.

The message is cautionary. If a company obsessively focuses on selling drill bits and their customers start to cut holes with waterjets or lasers, then the company is in deep trouble.

Harvard Business School Professor Clayton M. Christensen has employed this adage; however, he credited Harvard Business School Professor Theodore Levitt. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: A thematic precursor that did not mention drills appeared in a Reno, Nevada newspaper in 1923 within an advertisement for plumbing. Several products were mentioned together with the implicit goals of customers:¹

“When you buy a razor, you buy a smooth chin—but you could wear a beard. When you buy a new suit, you buy an improved appearance—but you could make the old one do. When you buy an automobile, you buy speedy transportation—but you could walk. But when you buy plumbing, you buy cleanliness—for which there is no substitute!

The earliest strong match for the adage known to QI occurred in an advertisement in a Somerset, Pennsylvania newspaper in 1942:²

Hardware stores report that over one million men bought one-quarter inch drills in one year. Not one of those million men wanted the drills. They wanted quarter inch holes in metal or wood.

People who buy life insurance don’t want life insurance; they want monthly income for their families.

The advertisement was run by agent by C. C. Wagner of the Provident Mutual Life Insurance Company of Philadelphia. Yet, QI conjectures that the drill adage was already in circulation.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Fires Can’t Be Made with Dead Embers, Nor Can Enthusiasm Be Stirred by Spiritless Men

James Baldwin? James Mark Baldwin? Stanley Baldwin? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a quotation that begins with an assertion that fires cannot be made with dead embers. The quotation has often been credited to U.S. writer James Baldwin, but I haven’t been able to find a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the “Elmira Star-Gazette” of New York in May 1942. The text was two sentences long, and it occurred within a box with a narrow black border. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Fires can’t be made with dead embers, nor can enthusiasm be stirred by spiritless men. Enthusiasm in our daily work lightens effort and turns even labor into pleasant tasks.
—Baldwin.

The single-name attribution was ambiguous, and over the years the quotation has been ascribed to at least three different people: U.S. philosopher James Mark Baldwin, British politician Stanley Baldwin, and U.S. author James Baldwin. The current evidence is too weak to definitively identify the creator. One may hope that future research will help solve this mystery.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Only Trouble With Coolidge Is That He Was Weaned on a Pickle

Alice Roosevelt Longworth? Bettina Borrmann Wells? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Alice Roosevelt Longworth was the daughter of Theodore Roosevelt and the wife of politician Nicholas Longworth III. For decades she was a well-known socialite in Washington D.C. who experienced praise and condemnation for her sharp wit which was sometimes caustic. Calvin Coolidge who became the U.S. President in 1923 occasionally displayed a sour disposition. Longworth apparently told a journalist:

Coolidge was weaned on a pickle.

Did she actually say this? Did she originate this insult?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is substantive evidence that Longworth did make a remark of this type in 1924; however, she disclaimed its creation in her 1933 autobiography. In addition, the core of the insult was circulating by the 1860s. See the details provided below via selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Kites Rise Against and Not With the Wind. Even a Head Wind Is Better than None

Winston Churchill? Henry Ford? John Neal? Henry W. Davis? Chinese Proverb? Lewis Mumford? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: An individual who faces opposition can grow in strength and resilience. This notion has been brilliantly expressed via a metaphorical kite in the wind. Here are three versions:

Kites rise highest against the wind—not with it.
Opposition is a great help to a man. Kites rise against and not with the wind.
A kite can only rise against the wind. The best thing in a young man’s life is often adversity.

There is also a thematically related saying about an airplane:

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.

The first remark has been ascribed to the famous British leader Winston Churchill. The airplane remark has been attributed to automobile magnate Henry Ford. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This saying is not present in the comprehensive quotation collection “In His Own Words: Churchill By Himself” compiled by Richard M. Langworth.¹ Churchill died in 1965 at age 90, and QI has located attributions to the statesman starting in 1963. However, the origins of the saying are much older than this.

In 1846 author and critic John Neal published an essay titled “Enterprise and Perseverance” in the “Weekly Mirror”² of New York City. In the following days and months the popular piece was reprinted in several other periodicals including the “Portland Advertiser” in Maine. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:³

There are people, who, having began life, by setting their boat against wind and tide, are always complaining of their bad luck, and always just ready to give up and for that very reason are always helpless and good for nothing, and yet, if they would persevere, hard as it may be, to work up steam all your life long, they would have their reward at last. Good voyages are made both ways!

A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man. Kites rise against not with the wind. Even a head wind is better than nothing. No man ever worked his voyage anywhere in a dead calm.

Neal’s essay presented an eloquent instantiation of the metaphor which was remembered and cited by many during the ensuing years, yet the beginnings of this figurative framework can be traced further back in time.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When It Sounds Good, It Is Good

Duke Ellington? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is an enormous literature dedicated to critiquing music using sophisticated methodologies. Yet, one famous musician had the confidence to advocate an aesthetic viewpoint based on direct experience and organic reaction:

When it sounds good, it is good.

Duke Ellington (Edward Kennedy Ellington) has received credit for this remark. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In April 1957 Duke Ellington performed a concert titled “Such Sweet Thunder” which was inspired by the works of William Shakespeare. The concert included a set of vignettes based on Othello, Caesar, Henry V, Lady Macbeth, and other characters. Ellington wrote a program containing the following passage:¹

Somehow, I suspect that if Shakespeare were alive today, he might be a jazz fan himself—he’d appreciate the combination of team spirit and informality, of academic knowledge and humor, of all the elements that go into a great jazz performance. And I am sure he would agree with the simple and axiomatic statement that is so important to all of us—when it sounds good, it is good.

The text above appeared in Ellington’s 1973 autobiography “Music Is My Mistress”. He also employed similar expressions over the years.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Oh—You’re the Man Who Can’t Spell

Dorothy Parker? Tallulah Bankhead? Edith Gwynn? Roy Blount Jr.? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The 1948 war novel “The Naked and the Dead” by Norman Mailer employed the euphemism “fug” (“fugged”, “fugging”) instead of the four-letter word for intercourse. According to a popular literary legend, a witty woman who was introduced to Mailer shortly after the release of the book said:

Oh! You’re the man who can’t spell.

This line has been ascribed to the actress Tallulah Bankhead and the writer Dorothy Parker. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared as a short item in the Hollywood gossip column of Edith Gwynn in April 1950. “Tallulah” was misspelled as “Talullah” in the newspaper text. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

When Talullah Bankhead was introduced to Norman Mailer, who authored “The Naked And The Dead,” she exploded, “Oh—you’re the man who can’t spell!”

The citation above indicated that the episode did occur; however, Norman Mailer strongly denied the tale in a private letter he wrote in 1954:²

It’s not true. I never met her. But I hear the story everywhere. Probably her press agent put it out. In irritation (because the story has me by implication shifting my feet and blushing to the ears) I spread a counter rumor. The new legend (all mine) has it that I retorted, “Yes, and you’re the young lady who doesn’t know how to.”

Thanks to linguist Jesse Sheidlower, author of “The F-Word”, who told QI about Mailer’s 1954 missive.

The recipient of the letter was Basil Mailer who was the son of Norman Mailer’s uncle. The letter appeared in the 2014 collection “The Selected Letters of Norman Mailer”.

Publicity agents have been known to feed fictitious stories to columnists to help their clients maintain high public profiles. Hence, it is possible that the incident did not occur.

The ascription to Dorothy Parker was probably the result of a faulty memory. Additional selected citations are given below.

Quote Origin: One Hand Extended Into the Universe and One Hand Extended Into the World

Albert Einstein? Christina Baldwin? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a quotation about art attributed to the famous scientist Albert Einstein which describes a person extending a hand into the universe and acting as a “conduit for passing energy”. I am skeptical of this ascription because I have been unable to find a citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Einstein made this statement. It is not listed in the 2010 book “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein” which is a comprehensive reference about the physicist’s pronouncements from Princeton University Press.¹

The earliest match known to QI occurred in a 1990 spiritual book by Christina Baldwin.² A vivid statement within Baldwin’s book caught the eye of researcher Rosalie Maggio who placed it into her 1992 compilation “The Beacon Book of Quotations by Women”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:³

Spiritual love is a position of standing with one hand extended into the universe and one hand extended into the world, letting ourselves be a conduit for passing energy.

Christina Baldwin, Life’s Companion, Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest (1990)

The above statement was about spiritual love and not art; however, by 2018 the remark had been altered to produce a new expression and had implausibly been reassigned to Albert Einstein who had died decades before in 1955. The “Newtown Bee” of Newtown, Connecticut on August 31, 2018 printed a miscellaneous set of quotations which included the following:⁴

Art is standing with one hand extended into the universe and one hand extended into the world and letting ourselves be a conduit for passing energy.
—Albert Einstein

Below is one additional selected citation and a conclusion.

Joke Origin: The Optimist Who Fell from a Tall Building Said While Passing Each Story “All’s Well So Far”

Otto von Bismarck? Heinrich von Poschinger? Léon Gambetta? General Booth-Tucker? W. B. Bonnifield? Herbert S. Bigelow? S. E. Kiser? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: According to a comical legend, a positive thinker accidentally fell from the roof of a skyscraper. While passing each story on the way down, this optimistic person happily remarked, “Everything is fine so far.” Would you please trace this joke?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI hopes that a rescue net was deployed in time to justify the equanimity.

This joke is difficult to trace because the phrasing is highly variable. Also, it has been told in multiple languages, e.g., French, German, and English. The earliest published instance located by QI occurred in the Paris newspaper “Le Figaro” in 1887. The statesman Léon Gambetta was speaking to the novelist Alphonse Daudet. Here is the passage in French followed by a rendering in English. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Rappelle-toi ce mot du maçon qui tombe du cinquième étage et à qui un locataire du troisième demande : comment cela va-t-il ? – Pas mal jusqu’à présent, répond le maçon, mais ça se verra au bout !

Remember the words of the mason who falls from the fifth floor and to whom a tenant on the third asks: how is it? – Not bad so far, says the mason, but we will see at the end!

The 1900 book “Conversations with Prince Bismarck” contained anecdotes collected by Heinrich von Poschinger about Otto von Bismarck, the “Iron Chancellor” of Germany:²

Count Beust, Aide-de-camp to the Grand Duke of Saxe-Weimar, congratulated Bismarck at Versailles, on January 15, 1871, on the excellent relations existing between the German Chancellor and his namesake. Count Beust, the Austrian Minister. “Yes,” said Bismarck, “that is all very well; but it always reminds me of the story of the slater who, in falling from a tower, remarked as he passed each story, ‘All’s well so far.'”

Thus, the tale entered English by 1900 and was probably circulating in German decades before this date. Bismarck disclaimed credit for the joke by using the phrase “reminds me of the story”.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.