Quote Investigator® – Page 197

Quote Origin: I Know Only Two Tunes: One of Them Is Yankee Doodle, and the Other Isn’t

Ulysses S. Grant? Abraham Lincoln? W. S. Gilbert? William Tecumseh Sherman? Victor Borge? Richie Havens? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The holiday season is filled with singing, but my talent in this domain can be accurately summarized with the following quotation:

I know only two tunes: one of them is “Yankee Doodle,” and the other isn’t.

This humorously self-deprecating comment has been attributed to Ulysses S. Grant, but a similar remark has been ascribed to Abraham Lincoln and the famous librettist W. S. Gilbert. Could you please ascertain who first employed this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There are many versions of this quip which has been in circulation for 175 years or more. Several different songs have been mentioned in the joke, e.g., “Old Hundred”, “Auld Lang Syne”, “God Save the Queen”, “Yankee Doodle”, and “Hail Columbia”. In the earliest instances located by QI the person with woeful musical knowledge was anonymous.

In 1839 a New Orleans newspaper printed a short article that described an unnamed individual who wanted to relax while perusing a poem; however an organ grinder and a squalling vocalist prevented a pleasant reverie and provoked an expletive:¹

We ought to apologize for swearing, but really we suffer considerably from music, and only know two tunes, one of which is “Old Hundred,” and the other isn’t. –N. O. Picayune.

This comical tale was reprinted in the “Saturday Morning Transcript” of Boston, Massachusetts and “The Musical Review” of New York.²

In 1845 the same joke appeared in a Springfield, Massachusetts newspaper where it was assigned to an anonymous singer:³

A singer down east says he knows two tunes; one is ‘Old Hundred,’ and the other is not.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Don’t Know Who Discovered Water, But We Know It Wasn’t a Fish

Marshall McLuhan? Albert Einstein? Clyde Kluckhohn? Pierce Butler? James C. Coleman? John H. Fisher? John Culkin? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Sometimes an individual embedded in a particular culture or environment can become blind to the prevailing norms within his or her domain. I have heard a figurative expression that illustrates this predicament. Here are three versions:

We don’t know who discovered water, but it wasn’t a fish.
The fish will be the last to discover water.
I don’t know who discovered water, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a fish.

These words are often credited to the communication theorist and philosopher Marshall McLuhan, but I have not found a good citation. Could you examine this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Marshall McLuhan did use a version of this saying in 1966, but he did not claim coinage; instead, he attributed the words to an anonymous “someone”. He also used the expression in later speeches. Detailed citations for McLuhan are given further below.

A recent update to the important reference “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs” contained a thematically germane entry for “A fish doesn’t know it is in water; a fish doesn’t see water”.¹ The first citation for the adage was in a 1909 book titled “Every-Day Japan” which attempted to explicate the life and customs of Japan for an audience primarily in Britain and the United States. The following excerpt from the introduction was written by a Japanese Count. Emphasis added by QI:²

It is said that fish do not see water, nor do Polar bears feel the cold. Native writers on subjects like those the present work deals with do not even think that anything which has been happening daily in their own immediate surroundings ever since their infancy can possibly be worthy of notice; the author of this work, on the contrary, being a foreigner, is able for this very reason to make a selection of striking facts, and, being also entirely free from local prejudice, is better able to arrive at just conclusions on the matters coming under his observation.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: What You Are Comes To You

Ralph Waldo Emerson? Norman Vincent Peale? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following statement is often attributed to the famous philosopher and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson:

What you are comes to you.

Some adherents of “New Thought” and “New Age” belief systems view this as a spiritual law. This saying reminded me of the quasi-mystical book “The Secret”. However, I have not found this sentence in Emerson’s essays. Could you examine its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has not located this quotation in the works of Emerson, and QI hypothesizes that the ascription to Emerson emerged from a misreading of a passage by the best-selling writer Norman Vincent Peale who was a minister and proponent of “Positive Thinking”.

In Peale’s 1967 book “Enthusiasm Makes the Difference” he included a section about a psychological strategy he labeled the “‘As If’ Principle” which was summarized with the following quotation:¹

“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it.”

Peale recounted an anecdote in which an apathetic baseball player started to play as if he were enthusiastic. The athlete’s energy and vitality led to success and admiration, and these positive developments generated genuine enthusiasm.

Peale ended the section with a discussion of Ralph Waldo Emerson that included the quotation under investigation. But Peale did not claim that the short phrase “What you are comes to you” was from Emerson. In fact, the phrase was Peale’s and not Emerson’s. Peale was presenting his own summary analysis of Emerson’s perspective:

You too can activate yourself into enthusiasm by use of the “As if” principle. What you are comes to you. This remarkable principle is thus stated by Emerson, “A man is a method, a progressive arrangement; a selecting principle, gathering his like unto him wherever he goes.” So act as you want to be and you will be as you act.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: There Was a Young Lady Named Bright Whose Speed Was Far Faster Than Light

Bishop of Chelmsford? A. H. Reginald Buller? Albert Einstein? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a popular comical limerick about a young woman named White or Bright that highlights the counterintuitive nature of time measurements in Einstein’s theory of relativity. Do you know this poem? Do you know who composed it?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in an issue of the London humor magazine “Punch” in 1923. Initially, the limerick “Relativity” was published without attribution:¹

Relativity.

There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light;
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

In 1937 a Professor of Botany named A. H. Reginald Buller wrote a letter to “The Observer” newspaper in London and claimed authorship of the limerick. Top quotation references such as “The Yale Book of Quotations”² and “Cassell’s Humorous Quotations”³ support the ascription to Buller. Details for this 1937 citation are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Life Is Not Measured By the Number of Breaths We Take, But By the Moments That Take Our Breath Away

George Carlin? Maya Angelou? Vicki Corona? Hilary Cooper? Kevin Bisch? Will Smith? Philip James Bailey?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following inspirational quotation has been attributed to a wide variety of people:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

I doubt that this was coined by George Carlin or Maya Angelou though I have seen those ascriptions. Who do you think should be credited?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in 1989 in a book for dancers titled “Tahitian Choreographies” by Vicki Corona:¹

Yes, there are so many grueling details and rehearsals to agonize over, but the dances and music of Tahiti add a happy, healthy dimension to our lives! Remember that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away! Dancing can do that for you!

The above citation was uncovered by the author Phil Bolsta who was writing a book which included a large number of quotations. Bolsta admirably performed extensive research attempting to pin down the sources for the quotations in his book. Bolsta stated on his blog that he contacted Vicki Corona directly to explore the origin of the saying in her book:²

I was shocked to find this popular quote in a 1989 thirty-two-page booklet on Tahitian dance. I called Vicki Corona on April 17, 2012, and she said that, to the best of her knowledge, the quote was hers because she always wrote original material for the series of dance booklets she produced. However, she acknowledged in a follow-up e-mail: “While I doubt it, there is a possibility that I may have heard that verbiage before and simply went with it, or maybe it just came out from the labyrinths of my mind. Since you’re a writer, also, you know how that works when you’re in the ‘zone’.”

Hence, there is some uncertainty about the origin of this quotation in the mind of the person who employed it in 1989.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The More Sand Has Escaped from the Hourglass of Our Life, the Clearer We Should See Through It

Niccolò Machiavelli? Jean-Paul Sartre? Jean Paul? Johann Paul Friedrich Richter?

Question for Quote Investigator: A student would like to use the following quotation about perspicacity gained through experience in a yearbook, but she has been unable to determine an appropriate ascription:

The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.

These words are often attributed to Niccolò Machiavelli or Jean-Paul Sartre which I think is an eccentric juxtaposition. I was unable to find precise citations for either of these individuals. Would you help resolve this question?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in a German novel titled “Hesperus oder 45 Hundsposttage, Eine Biographie” published in 1795 by Johann Paul Friedrich Richter who used the pen name Jean Paul. “The Oxford Companion to German Literature” described the work as follows:¹

The eccentric sub-title refers to the chapters, which are designated Hundsposttage, and are supposed to have been brought to the author’s friend by a Pomeranian dog. Written in Jean Paul’s characteristic whimsical style, the book has a complex and absurd plot.

The quotation about a figurative hourglass referred to a single individual named Emanuel in the novel. The statement was later generalized to encompass all people. Here is the relevant passage in German followed by one possible English translation:²

Emanuel sah ruhig wie eine ewige Sonne, auf den Herbst seines Körpers herab; ja je mehr Sand aus seiner Lebens-Sanduhr herausgefallen war, desto heller sah er durch das leere Glas hindurch.

Emanuel looked peacefully as an eternal sundown upon the autumn of his body; indeed the more sand had fallen out of his life-hourglass, the clearer he saw through the empty glass.

In 1837 a weekly journal called “The New-York Mirror” printed an article titled “Original Translations: Scraps from Jean Paul” which included a version of the quotation together with other adages from Richter. Here are three examples:³

Our sorrows are like thunder clouds, which seem black in the distance, but grow lighter as they approach.

The more sand has escaped from the hour-glass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.

The moon is a light-house on the shore of the other world.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: There Must Be a Pony Somewhere

James Kirkwood Jr.? Ronald Reagan? Ken Kesey? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a famous joke about a child who wakes up on Christmas morning and is surprised to find a heap of horse manure under the tree instead of a collection of presents. Yet, the child is not discouraged because he has an extraordinarily optimistic outlook on life. His parents discover him enthusiastically shoveling the manure as he exclaims, “With all this manure, there must be a pony somewhere!”

New York Times language maven William Safire stated that the entire joke would be brought to mind for many readers by simply mentioning the punchline:¹

There must be a pony in here somewhere.

Safire connected the tale to Ronald Reagan who enjoyed telling a version, but I know that the Broadway playwright James Kirkwood Jr. also wrote a semi-autobiographical 1960 novel referencing the tale with the title:

There Must Be A Pony!

Would you please trace this comical anecdote?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There are many versions of this joke, and it has been evolving for more than one hundred years. The telltale sign of a pony seen by the expectant child has varied, e.g., horse dung, a horse shoe, horsehair, and a bale of hay. Sometimes one child was featured, and sometimes the divergent behaviors of an optimistic child and a pessimistic child were contrasted. This high variability makes the story difficult to trace. Also, the earliest instances located by QI used a different punchline.

In 1902 a state senator in Illinois addressed a banquet of business people in the advertising industry and presented the following narrative:²

Three little children were hanging up their stockings. They were Rebecca and Rachel and Ikey. The old man had licked Ikey the night before and told him that Santa Claus was no good and wouldn’t bring him anything.

“Oh, yes,” said Ikey, “Santa Claus will; my father is an old friend of his; Santa Claus is a nice fellow; he will bring me something.”

By the way, I should tell you what a mean daddy the father was. He went out into the street and got a piece of frozen earth that hadn’t been left there by an automobile [laughter], and he put that—deliberately took and put it in poor little Ikey’s stocking. In the morning the three children were up early to find out what Santa Claus had left them. “What you got?” was the first question as each examined the contents of the stockings. Rachel had a little diamond ring and Rebecca had a gold watch. “And you, Ikey. What did you get?”

But Ikey was faithful.

“Well, Santa Claus is all right,” he said. “I think he brought me a pony, but he must have got away.” [Laughter and applause.]

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: You Cannot Fool All the People All the Time

Abraham Lincoln? Jacques Abbadie? Denis Diderot? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: One of the most famous sayings attributed to Abraham Lincoln is about deception:

You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

I was astounded to learn that there is no solid evidence that Lincoln actually used this adage. Would you please examine its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Abraham Lincoln died in 1865. Two decades later H. Clay Bascom wrote a letter dated August 24, 1885 to the influential prohibitionist newspaper “The Voice” of New York. Bascom attributed a version of the saying to Abraham Lincoln. This citation was the earliest close match known to QI. It was discovered by Fred R. Shapiro who is the editor of “The New Yale Book of Quotations”. Details are presented further below.

An intriguing precursor appeared in a popular 1684 work of apologetics titled: “Traité de la Vérité de la Religion Chrétienne” by Jacques Abbadie who was a French Protestant based in Germany, England, and Ireland. The following passage appeared in chapter two:¹

… ont pû tromper quelques hommes, ou les tromper tous dans certains lieux & en certains tems, mais non pas tous les hommes, dans tous les lieux & dans tous les siécles.

The spelling “tems” was used in the original text instead of “temps”. Here is one possible translation into English:²

One can fool some men, or fool all men in some places and times, but one cannot fool all men in all places and ages.

Abbadie’s treatise was published in many editions for many years. The same statement appeared during the next century in the landmark “Encyclopédie: ou Dictionnaire Raisonné des Sciences, des Arts et des Métiers” edited by Denis Diderot and Jean le Rond d’Alembert. The fourth volume of the encyclopedia was released in 1754, and it included a passage that was nearly identical to the one above with “peut” instead of “pû” in a philosophical section discussing metaphysics and God.³

On September 3, 1885 “The Voice” newspaper of New York published a letter from H. Clay Bascom which was dated August 24, 1885. Bascom credited Abraham Lincoln with the following version of the saying:⁴

… but was it not Mr. Lincoln who said: “You can fool the people some of the time, and you can fool some of the people all of the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all the time.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: A Ship in Harbor Is Safe, But that Is Not What Ships Are Built For

John A. Shedd? Grace Hopper? Albert Einstein? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: On December 9, 2013 the Google Doodle honored the pioneering computer scientist and U.S. Navy Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper. Here are two versions of a quotation that is often attributed to her:

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for.

This saying has also been credited to Albert Einstein and John A. Shedd. Can you tell me who said it?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1928 John A. Shedd released a collection of sayings titled “Salt from My Attic”, and the following popular aphorism was included:¹

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

This citation appeared in the important reference work “The Yale Book of Quotations” edited by Fred R. Shapiro.²

Grace Hopper also employed a version of this expression on multiple occasions. For example, in 1981 Hopper spoke an instance of the adage with “port” instead of “harbor”. The ascription to Albert Einstein is unsupported. Details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: “I Insured My Voice for $1,000,000.” “Wonderful! What Did You Do with the Money?”

Miriam Hopkins? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: While watching the television show “The Voice” a friend told me about an entertaining zinger. One singer was trying to impress another singer by describing an insurance policy:

Singer 1: “I Insured My Voice for One Million Dollars.”
Singer 2: “Wonderful! What Did You Do with the Money?”

A version of this rejoinder has been attributed to the actress Miriam Hopkins. Would you explore this tale to determine the participants?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence of this anecdote located by QI was printed in a Boston, Massachusetts newspaper in October 1936 which acknowledged a correspondent in Rome, Italy. The first participant in the repartee was male and was only identified as a “famous singer”. The short item was grouped with a collection of jokes in a humor column called “In Lighter Vein”. The value of the insurance policy was denominated in British pounds:¹

“I insured my voice,” stated the famous singer, “for £50,000.” “And what,” asked his rival, “have you done with the money?”—Marc Aurelio (Rome).

The same comical tale was printed in “The Literary Digest”² of New York, “The Era”³ newspaper of Bradford, Pennsylvania, and the “Chester Times”⁴ of Chester, Pennsylvania in October 1936. The three periodicals credited Marc Aurelio of Rome.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.