Cary Grant? Mary Astor? Hugh O’Brian? Tige Andrews? Herb Caen? Danny Doakes? Herschel Bernardi? Anonymous?
Question for Quote Investigator: I read an article last year about celebrity lookalikes that discussed the different stages of a Hollywood career. I remember a few of the stages:
Get me John/Jane Smith.
Get me someone who looks like John/Jane Smith.
Who is John/Jane Smith.
How old is this joke? Do you know the name of the first actor or actress who was mentioned in this humorous sequence?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in the popular column of Herb Caen on September 16, 1960 in the “San Francisco Chronicle” of California. This clever template humorously predicted the trajectory of recognition of the U.S. character actor Tige Andrews:1
Tige Andrews, the memorable mime of “Threepenny Opera,” outlines the five stages of an actor’s life: “Who is Tige Andrews?” – “Get me Tige Andrews!” – “Get me a Tige Andrews type” -“Get me a young Tige Andrews” – “Who is Tige Andrews?”
Tige Andrews best known roles were police officers in two television series of the 1960s and 1970s called “The Mod Squad” and “The Detectives”.
On September 23, 1960 the template appeared in the syndicated Hollywood gossip column of Mike Connolly:2
Hugh O’Brian gave me the following points—as The Five Most Important Stages in the Life of an Actor:
(1) “Who is Hugh O’Brian?”
(2) “Get me Hugh O’Brian as the star of our next picture!”
(3) “Get me somebody who’s a Hugh O’Brian type.”
(4) “Get me a young Hugh O’Brian.”
(5) “Who WAS Hugh O’Brian?”
O’Brian had a long and successful career in the movies and on stage though he never achieved the iconic status of superstars like Humphrey Bogart and John Wayne. His most famous role was the lawman title-character in a top-rated television series set in the frontier West called “The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp” which was first broadcast in the 1950s and 1960s. Both O’Brian and Andrews were conscious that fame was sometimes short-lived.
In December 1960 another version of the template was printed by a columnist named Kay Loring in the Chicago Tribune. This instance was sent to Loring by a humorist named Quin Ryan:3
The five stages in the life of a Hollywood star:
Who is Danny Doakes?
Get me Danny Doakes!
Get me a Danny Doakes’ type!
Get me a young Danny Doakes!
Who is Danny Doakes?
The “Danny Doakes” mentioned here was not an obscure actor; instead, Danny Doakes was a variant of Joe Doakes which was a term used to designate an everyman. Joe Doakes, Joe Bloggs, Joe Blow, and the term John/Jane Smith are similar expressions that function as generic referents.
Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.
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