Quote Investigator® – Page 49

Quote Origin: Thank Goodness We Don’t Get As Much Government As We Pay For

Will Rogers? Charles F. Kettering? Max Denney? Thomas Jefferson? Robert Heinlein? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Many complain about the burdensome taxes collected by some governments. Many also complain about the counter-productive and wasteful actions taken by those governments. These criticisms have been combined to produce the following comical remark:

Thank heavens we don’t get all the government we pay for.

This saying has been attributed to Charles F. Kettering who was the head of research at General Motors Corporation for many years. The quip has also been credited to the popular humorist Will Rogers. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This quip is difficult to trace because its phrasing is highly variable. The earliest match located by QI appeared in a Fairbury, Nebraska newspaper in 1947. Local businessman Max Denney addressed a meeting of Rotarians and discussed government spending. He employed the joke but disclaimed credit. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The only bright spot in the cost of government Denney said, is one man’s observation that “Thank goodness we don’t get as much government as we pay for”

QI thinks that an anonymous jokesmith should receive credit for this saying based on current knowledge. Will Rogers died in 1935, and he received posthumous credit in 1966, but the long delay meant that this was very weak evidence.

Charles F. Kettering used the joke in 1949, but he disclaimed credit. See below. Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If Your Mother Says She Loves You, Check On It

Edward H. Eulenberg? Arnold A. Dornfeld? Rolfe Neill? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Journalism is a difficult profession. Major stories are often complex and ill-defined. Witnesses and experts may be self-interested and unreliable. The following motto for reporters highlights the need to double-check every bit of information:

If your mother tells you she loves you, check it out.

Both Edward H. Eulenberg and Arnold A. Dornfeld have received credit for this expression. They were demanding veteran editors at the City News Bureau of Chicago. Would you please explore the provenance of this adage?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the “Chicago Tribune” of Illinois on March 30, 1970. The article stated that Arnold A. Dornfeld who was night editor of the City News Bureau of Chicago was retiring the next day. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

After 44 years with City News, Dornfeld has boiled down his advice on journalism to a single sentence: “Chum, if your mother says she loves you, check on it.” That advice, which Dornfeld admits he borrowed from another newsman, has been an icy baptism into reporting for many of the “City Press kids.”

Thus, Dornfeld popularized the saying, but he disclaimed authorship. Dornfeld wrote a 1983 book titled “Behind the Front Page” in which he attributed the saying to colleague Edward H. Eulenberg.

Interestingly, Eulenberg’s 1988 obituary gave him credit for a harsher expression of the same type: “If your mother tells you she loves you, kick her smartly in the shins and make her prove it”. QI conjectures that this statement was toned down to yield the motto mentioned by Dornfeld. Previous researchers introduced this conjecture. Detailed citations are given further below.

Quote Origin: Competitions Are for Horses, Not for Artists

Béla Bartók? Joseph Szigeti? Nick Cave? A. M. Rosenthal? Joe Eszterhas? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Competitions are commonplace in the world of athletics, academics, arts, and business. The acclaimed Hungarian composer Béla Bartók apparently expressed opposition to high-stakes contests in the domain of music. Here are four English versions of his remark:

(1) Competitions are for horses, not artists.
(2) Competition is for horses, not artists.
(3) Competitions are for horses, not for musicians.
(4) Competitions should be for horses, not musicians.

I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Béla Bartók died in 1945. The earliest match in English located by QI appeared in “The New York Times” in 1958. Journalist A. M. Rosenthal attended an international music contest featuring eighty young musicians held in Bucharest, Rumania. Rosenthal presented miscellaneous comments he overheard from participants at luncheon tables and in hotel lobbies. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“Claudio Arrau does not like the way I play Chopin, and I do not like the way Claudio Arrau plays Chopin. The only difference is that he is on the jury.” . . .

“I know a man in New York who will bet $10,000 that Van Cliburn will never be great.”

“I am for Bartok. What did he say? ‘Competitions are for horses, not artists.’”

The above posthumous citation was not ideal because it was indirect and delayed. This article presents a snapshot of current research which is incomplete.

A direct quotation in Hungarian would best. Unfortunately, QI’s ability to search for quotations in Hungarian is sharply circumscribed. QI does not have access to large databases of Hungarian documents. The Google Books database does contain some Hungarian books, but QI was unable to find a substantive Hungarian match in that database.

The most interesting clue about the original phrasing appeared in the 1969 book “Szigeti on the Violin” which suggested that Béla Bartók used the word “verseny”. See the details further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Am Dying, As I Have Lived, Beyond My Means

Oscar Wilde? Robert Ross? Frank Harris? Hesketh Pearson? Josiah Flynt? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: According to legend, Oscar Wilde was resting with his eyes closed on his deathbed when two physicians began discussing the necessity of a very expensive operation to extend his life. Wilde opened his eyes and said:

I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means.

Another version of the tale states that the ailing and impoverished wit was enjoying a convivial meal with friends in Paris when he asked for a bottle of champagne. When it was brought he declared:

I am dying, as I have lived, beyond my means.

Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Oscar Wilde died on November 30, 1900. The strongest evidence known to QI appeared in a letter dated December 14, 1900 that was sent from Robert Ross to More Adey. Ross was a close friend of Wilde’s who saw him frequently during his final days in Paris. Adey was an English art critic and editor. The ellipses in the following passage were present in the published text. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

On October 25th, my brother Aleck came to see him, when Oscar was in particularly good form. His sister-in-law, Mrs. Willie, and her husband, Texeira, were then passing through Paris on their honeymoon, and came at the same time. On this occasion he said he was “dying above his means” . . . . he would never outlive the century . . . . the English people would not stand him—he was responsible for the failure of the Exhibition, the English having gone away when they saw him there so well-dressed and happy . . .

Wilde’s quip used the word “above” instead of “beyond” in this version of the tale. The “Exhibition” was a reference to the Paris Exhibition of 1900 which was held between April and November.

Common advice states that one should make a budget and not overspend, i.e., one should not live beyond one’s means. Wilde’s humorous wordplay was based on twisting this guidance.

Ross’s letter was published in the 1916 book “Oscar Wilde: His Life and Confessions” by Frank Harris. The missive also appeared in “The Letters of Oscar Wilde” edited by Rupert Hart-Davis which was published in 1962.²

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Better Know Nothing Than Half-Know Many Things

Friedrich Nietzsche? Josh Billings? Thomas Common? Alexander Tille? Walter Kaufmann? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A popular humorist or a famous philosopher said something like the following:

It is better to know nothing than to half-know many topics.

Would you please help me to find the correct statement of this adage and the name of its originator?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The prominent German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote a philosophical novel titled “Also Sprach Zarathustra: Ein Buch für Alle und Keinen” (“Thus Spoke Zarathustra: A Book for Everyone and No One”) between 1883 and 1885. During one episode the main character Zarathustra encountered a man whose arm was bleeding because he had been bitten by leeches. The man was a follower of Zarathustra’s philosophy, and he employed the adage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“I am the spiritually conscientious one,” answered he who was asked, “and in matters of the spirit it is difficult for any one to take it more rigorously, more restrictedly, and more severely than I, except him from whom I learnt it, Zarathustra himself. Better know nothing than half-know many things! Better be a fool on one’s own account, than a sage on other people’s approbation!”

The text above is from a translation by Thomas Common published in 1911. Below is the original German together with two other translations.

Quote Origin: This Wallpaper Is Killing Me; One of Us Must Go

Oscar Wilde? Claire de Pratz? Léon Guillot de Saix? Lady Gregory? William Butler Yeats? Hesketh Pearson? Philippe Jullian? Violet Wyndham? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Near the end of Oscar Wilde’s life he was debt-ridden and ill. His shabby accommodations in Paris did not meet his aesthetic standards. According to legend he said something similar to the following while on his deathbed. Here are three versions:

(1) Either this wallpaper goes or I do.
(2) This wallpaper is killing me. Decidedly one of us will have to go.
(3) My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One of us must go.

In this anecdote accurate? Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Journalist and novelist Claire de Pratz became friends with Oscar Wilde during his final period in Paris. Wilde died in 1900. Writer Léon Guillot de Saix interviewed Pratz and others for an article titled “Souvenirs Inédits Sur Oscar Wilde” (“Unpublished Memories About Oscar Wilde”) which he published in the weekly periodical “L’Européen” of Paris in 1929. Pratz told Saix about the hotel room that Wilde stayed in during his last days. The original French text is followed by one possible English translation. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

Il vivait dans une misérable chambre meublée, à l’hôtel d’Alsace, rue des Beaux-Arts. Et lui qui avait été l’esthète de la gentry londonienne, souffrait horriblement de cette misère symbolisée pour lui dans l’épouvantable papier « modern-style » à fleurs chocolat sur fond bleu.

« — Voyez-vous, ma chère enfant, me disait-il, il y a un duel à mort entre moi et mon papier de tenture. L’un de nous deux doit y rester. Ce sera lui ou ce sera moi. »

He lived in a miserable furnished room at the Hotel d’Alsace on rue des Beaux-Arts. And he who had been the aesthete of the London gentry, suffered horribly from this misery symbolized for him by the appalling “modern-style” wallpaper with chocolate flowers on a blue background.

“ — You see, my dear child, he said to me, there is a duel to the death between me and my wallpaper. One or the other of us has to go. It will be my wallpaper or me. ”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Time Is Too Slow for Those Who Wait; Too Swift for Those Who Fear

William Shakespeare? Henry van Dyke? Alice Morse Earle? Katrina Trask? H. L. Mencken? Lady Jane Fellowes? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following lines have been credited to the famous English playwright and poet William Shakespeare:

Time is very slow for those who wait
Very fast for those who are scared
Very long for those who lament
Very short for those who celebrate
But for those who love, time is eternal.

I haven’t been able to find a citation and I am skeptical of this attribution. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive support for the ascription to William Shakespeare. QI conjectures these lines were derived from a sundial inscription crafted by the U.S. author and clergyman Henry van Dyke. Two separate poems by van Dyke appeared on the sundial, and both were recorded in a 1901 book by historian Alice Morse Earle titled “Old-Time Gardens Newly Set Forth”. Earle encountered the sundial in a rose garden at the Yaddo estate of Spencer and Katrina Trask in Saratoga Springs, New York. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The engraved metal dial face bears two exquisite verses — the gift of one poet to another — of Dr. Henry Van Dyke to the garden’s mistress, Katrina Trask. These dial mottoes are unusual, and perfect examples of that genius which with a few words can shape a lasting gem of our English tongue. At the edge of the dial face is this motto:

“Hours fly,
Flowers die,
New Days,
New Ways,
Pass by;
Love stays.”

At the base of the gnomon is the second motto:—

Time is
Too Slow for those who Wait,
Too Swift for those who Fear,
Too Long for those who Grieve,
Too Short for those who Rejoice;
But for those who Love,
Time is Eternity.

The lines under examination are similar to the lines immediately above. The three key words “scared”, “lament”, and “celebrate” semantically match the words “fear”, “grieve”, and “rejoice”. QI hypothesizes that van Dyke’s lines were rephrased to yield the lines attributed to Shakespeare. This rephrasing may have occurred because of a faulty memory. Alternatively, the modified statements may have been constructed deliberately with uncertain motivation.

The image at the top of this webpage shows the sundial. The words of the first poem are visible in the outermost ring around the sundial. The second poem appears on the left of the dial. The text is oriented sideways. Below is a picture of the second verse with proper orientation. The resolution is low, but the beginning word “Time” and ending word “Eternity” are clear.

A few years later van Dyke published a slightly different version of this poem about time. He omitted the word “Eternity” and changed the last line to say “Time is not”. See the 1904 citation further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When the Okies Migrated To California, It Raised the I.Q. in Both States

Will Rogers? Robert Muldoon? Herbert L. Carver? Anthony S. Rogers? Harry Woodhead? Lynn T. White? Robert Ruark? Dewey F. Bartlett? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a humorous remark about migration that initially seems a bit paradoxical. Here are two versions:

When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.

When all those New Zealanders went to Australia, the average IQ in both countries was lifted considerably.

This phenomenon occurs when the migrating group have an average intelligence that is lower than the mean in the starting location and higher than the mean in the destination location.

U.S. humorist Will Rogers has received credit for the first statement, and New Zealand Prime Minister Robert Muldoon has received credit for the second. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: These two quips belong to an evolving family of expressions which is difficult to trace because of its variety. The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1939 within the “McComb Daily Journal” of Mississippi. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Puzzle: You name the counties:
A man is said to have moved from one south Mississippi county to another, and when he did he raised the intelligence level of both counties.

The joke above referred to a single person moving instead of a group migrating, but the idea was the same. The jest appeared in a column by Herbert L. Carver.

Will Rogers died in 1935. He received credit for an instance in 1970. But this late citation provided only very weak evidence. Robert Muldoon received credit from an eyewitness in 1990. But this joke schema was already quite old in 1990.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Rain Will Stop; The Night Will End; The Hurt Will Fade. Hope Is Never So Lost That It Can’t Be Found

Ernest Hemingway? Mandy Hale? The Single Woman? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: I recently encountered a quotation using evocative language about the rain stopping and the night ending. The quotation emphasized that one should feel hopeful. Oddly, the famous author Ernest Hemingway received credit for the remark, but I do not think it sounds anything like him. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence supporting the ascription to Ernest Hemingway.

The earliest close match located by QI appeared in a tweet dated February 18, 2013 from @TheSingleWoman which is the handle used by author Mandy Hale. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The rain WILL stop, the night WILL end, the hurt WILL fade. Hope is never so lost that it can’t be found. #TheSW

The hash tag within the tweet signaled that “TheSW”, i.e., Mandy Hale, was taking credit for the statement.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: For Progress There Is No Cure

John von Neumann? R.L. Duffus? Albert Wohlstetter? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The remarkable recent advances in the field of artificial intelligence have produced feelings of excitement and foreboding. Power, hope, and danger are intertwined with technological discoveries. A famous scientist emphasized the inevitability of challenges:

For progress there is no cure.

Would you please explore the provenance of this remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In the 1950s the editors of “Fortune” magazine invited several prominent individuals to predict future developments for the 1980s. The resultant essays were printed in the magazine and collected in the 1956 book “The Fabulous Future America In 1980”. The mathematician, physicist, and polymath John von Neumann penned a piece titled “Can We Survive Technology?” He discussed nuclear weapons, nuclear power, climate control, and automated systems. He believed that the difficulties and opportunities facing humanity were momentous. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

For progress there is no cure. Any attempt to find automatically safe channels for the present explosive variety of progress must lead to frustration. The only safety possible is relative, and it lies in an intelligent exercise of day-to-day judgment.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.