Quote Investigator® – Page 188

Quote Origin: I Have Been Laid Up With Intentional Flu

Samuel Goldwyn? Ted Robinson? Nine-Year-Old in Cleveland Heights? Jake ‘Malaprop’ Mintz?

Question for Quote Investigator: It is flu season, and when a co-worker called in sick recently a friend said that he probably had the “intentional flu”. I had never heard this wordplay on “intestinal flu” before, but my knowledgeable friend stated that this quip originated with Samuel Goldwyn. Is this an authentic Goldwynism?

Reply from Quote Investigator: A version of this joke was attributed to Samuel Goldwyn in the short biography “The Great Goldwyn” by Alva Johnston published in 1937. A section of the volume presented “a few Goldwyn lines that are vouched for by good authorities”. This was one:¹

I have been laid up with intentional flu.

Yet, this malapropism was already in circulation by 1932. A humor column by Ted Robinson published in the Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper was filled with incorrect words and phrases. Here is an excerpt followed by a table with the correct terms:²

He must be halving an awful time trying to keep hoase and look after the youngsters. And believe me it isn’t the easiest job in the world keeping an eye on the health of a bunch of off springs like that when winter seems to bring just one epidermis after another. 1st its mumps and then its missiles and then along comes intentional flu or maybe infidel paralysis, and all in all its no snap.

halving = having
hoase = house
off springs = offspring
epidermis = epidemic
its = it’s
missiles = measles
intentional flu = intestinal flu
infidel paralysis = infantile paralysis

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Had to Get Up to Answer the Phone Anyway

Yogi Berra? Desi Arnaz? Carl Brandt? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following anecdote is told about baseball great Yogi Berra. He received a telephone call very early in the morning, and the caller apologetically said, “I hope I didn’t wake you.” Yogi replied:

Nah, I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

Is this an authentic Yogiism?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is good evidence that Yogi did deliver this quip. He included a version in his 1998 collection “The Yogi Book”, and the story was attached to his name in newspapers by 1958.

Yet, the joke can be traced further back in time, and the earliest evidence located by QI appeared in a syndicated Hollywood gossip column in September 1942. The humorous line was reportedly spoken by the musician and actor Desi Arnaz who was one of the stars of the popular television comedy program “I Love Lucy”. The use of “ayem” instead of “A.M.” in the following was a stylistic quirk of the columnist:¹

Pat O’Brien is chuckling about an early ayem phone call to Desi Arnaz. Noticing Desi’s voice sounded dull, Pat asked: “Did I get you out of bed?” “Not at all,” mumbled Arnaz, in a voice drugged by sleep, “I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway.”

In October 1942 the joke was printed in “The Calgary Herald” of Alberta, Canada. The caller and callee were unidentified, and the time period was shifted from early in the morning to late at night:²

Then there is the story about the man who was awakened at 4 a.m. by the ringing of his telephone.
“Sorry to trouble you at this time of night, old man …” began the voice at the other end of the wire.
“‘sall right.” interrupted the other. “I had to get up to answer the telephone, anyway.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It’s Never Too Late To Be What You Might Have Been

George Eliot? Adelaide Anne Procter? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: My favorite quotation about untapped potential and enduring spirit is attributed to the prominent Victorian novelist George Eliot:

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

This popular saying has been printed on refrigerator magnets, posters, shirts, and key chains. But I have never seen the source specified. Are these really the words of George Eliot?

Reply from Quote Investigator: George Eliot was the pen name of Mary Ann Evans who died in 1880. Researchers have been unable to locate this quotation in her books or letters. Currently, the ascription to Eliot has no substantive support.

The earliest evidence of an exact match known to QI appeared in “Literary News: A Monthly Journal of Current Literature” in 1881. The editor held a contest to gather the best quotations from Eliot’s oeuvre. The following was the announcement printed in the April 1881 issue:¹

Prize Question No 31.
Subject: Gems from George Eliot.

Quote the most striking passage known to you from George Eliot’s writings; not to exceed thirty words. Answers due May 20.

In June 1881 the excerpts submitted by readers were printed in the periodical; however, they were not fully vetted for accuracy. Also, some entries did not specify the originating text. For example, these four items were included in the list. Boldface has been added to excerpts:²

We present herewith the selections made by our readers from the writings of George Eliot. Excluding all that exceed the prescribed limit of thirty words, we present herewith seventy-one selections. …

21. “Our deeds determine us as much as we determine our deeds.”—Adam Bede

22. “A woman’s choice generally means taking the only man she can get.” —Middlemarch.

23. “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”

24. “I’m not denyin’ the women are foolish; God Almighty made ’em to match the men.”

Statement 21 was correct though truncated. Statement 22 was slightly inaccurate; the novel used the word “usually” instead of “generally”. Statement 23 has never been found in the works of Eliot. Statement 24 did not list a source, but it did appear in “Adam Bede”.

This important citation with the incorrect attribution of the target quotation was identified by Professor Leah Price. After 1881 quotation number 23 started to appear in a variety of publications credited to George Eliot, and “Literary News” may have been the prime locus for its dissemination.

A very interesting partial match for the saying appeared earlier in a poem in 1859. Details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: ‘Dog Bites a Man’ Is Not News. ‘Man Bites a Dog’ Is News

John B. Bogart? Charles A. Dana? Amos Cummings? Horace Greeley? Jesse Lynch Williams? Billy Woods? Doc Wood? Alfred Harmsworth? Lord Northcliffe? Joseph Pulitzer? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Would you please explore one of the most famous maxims in the news business? Legend states that a neophyte reporter asked a sage editor to define “news”, and he received this reply:

When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news.

This saying has been credited to several newspaper people including: John B. Bogart, Amos Cummings, and Charles A. Dana who all worked at the New York Sun. The British press baron Alfred Harmsworth who became Lord Northcliffe has also been named as the originator.

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest written evidence located by QI appeared in a book titled “The Stolen Story and Other Newspaper Stories” by Jesse Lynch Williams in 1899. The adage was spoken by a fictional character named “Billy Woods” in a chapter called “The Old Reporter”. Woods was considered a repository of knowledge and wisdom by fellow reporters though his lack of a college education sometimes made him self-conscious. In the following passage Woods entertained young reporters and explained his concept of newsworthiness. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

Then he would open up, put them at their ease, discourse interestingly about the traditions of the office, and fascinate them, as he could anyone, man or woman, who came in his way.

“No wonder Senators at the Fifth Avenue Hotel like to have Mr. Woods come up and slap them on the back!” “No wonder he can make anybody talk about everything,” thought the new reporters, while the old one went on in his rapid style, “You’ll soon assimilate the idea. Now, for instance, ‘A dog bites a man’—that’s a story; ‘A man bites a dog’—that’s a good story,” etc., until in a lull there came the question—inevitable from very recent graduates:

“What college are you from Mr. Woods?”
Billy always felt better when this was over.

The author Jesse Lynch Williams went on to win a Pulitzer Prize for drama. QI speculates that Williams was trying to achieve verisimilitude in his novel by relaying an anonymous witty remark he had heard from within the newspaper business.

By August 1902 a version of the adage was being credited to the prominent newspaper editor Charles Anderson Dana. Here is a short item from a paper in Omaha, Nebraska that reprinted information from a paper in Buffalo, New York:²

The Buffalo Commercial relates that Richard Harding Davis once asked Charles A. Dana: “What constitutes news?” “If you should see a dog biting a man,” replied Dana, “don’t write it up. But if you should see a man biting a dog, spare not money, men nor telegraph tolls to get the details to the Sun office.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: There Are Two Kinds of People, Those Who Do the Work and Those Who Take the Credit

Indira Gandhi? Dwight Morrow? Harold Nicolson? Father Kemper? Motilal Nehru? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Indira Gandhi was the powerful Prime Minister of India for more than fifteen years. I have heard the following words which combine the serious and the comical attributed to her:

There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.

When I checked Wikiquote the statement was listed in a section called “Unsourced”. Could you ascertain whether Indira Gandhi spoke these words?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is good evidence that Indira Gandhi did mention a version of this advice, but she stated that she first heard it from her grandfather Motilal Nehru. The details are given further below.

Interestingly, the earliest evidence known to QI appeared in the 1935 biography of a businessman and diplomat named Dwight Morrow. His life history was written by a British diplomat named Harold Nicolson, and it presented guidance that Morrow gave to his son. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

“The world,” he once wrote to his son, “is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition.”

In May 1947 “The Rotarian” magazine reprinted the advice and credited Morrow:²

The late Dwight Morrow must have had this in mind when he wrote to his son:
“The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the former. There’s far less competition.”

The next earliest evidence located by QI was published in a Texas newspaper in December 1947. A Catholic priest named Father Kemper was exhorting his parishioners to participate in an election to choose the officers of a religious club. He credited the counsel to “some philosopher”:³

Let’s see if the voice of the people is the supreme law! Or is it the small active minority who do things in a democracy? Some philosopher divided mankind into two divisions; those who accomplish things, and those who take the credit. His advice is to join the former group, since there is less competition.

In 1959 Indira Gandhi became President of the Indian National Congress political party. The Times of India newspaper published an article with a quotation in which Gandhi recounted the instruction she received from her grandfather:⁴

Some years ago, she recalled what Pandit Motilal Nehru once told her: “There are two kinds of people, those who do the work, and those who take the credit. Belong to the first category, since not only do things get balanced, but there is much less competition.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Hit ‘Em Hard, They’ll Land Somewhere

Bobby Jones? Stewart Maiden? Harvey Penick? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Sometimes a golfer who is looking down a narrow fairway becomes overly cautious when striking the ball. The resulting golf shot travels off course or is too short. There is a popular piece of advice to counter this self-defeating tentative behavior. Here are three versions:

Hit ’em hard; they’ll land somewhere.
Hit it hard; it’ll come down someplace.
Knock hell out of them. They’ll land somewhere.

I’ve heard this credited to golfing great Bobby Jones, coach Stewart Maiden, and best-selling author Harvey Penick. Could you explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI believes this guidance originated with the prominent Scottish golf teacher Stewart Maiden whose nickname was “Kiltie”. Part of this advisory statement was recorded in a newspaper article printed in January 1928. Maiden was hired to instruct a “famous society woman” in the finer points of the game, and he used exuberant language:¹

She met “Kiltie” at the club and the ball was teed up for the first drive. She listened for the mystic words that were to mean “open sesame” to her in the world of golf. Maiden without hesitating, instructed:

“Get up there, Madam, and knock hell out of it!”

In September 1928 the top golfer Bobby Jones whose full name was Robert Tyre Jones Jr. wrote approvingly in his syndicated newspaper column about the counsel provided by Stewart Maiden during a major tournament. Jones contended that tight fairways and closely guarded greens were troublesome primarily because of their effect upon the player’s mental state. Anxiety and tenseness disturbed proper play. Hence, Jones endorsed maintaining an “aggressive frame of mind”. Boldface has been added to excerpts:²

Stewart Maiden expressed the whole idea in a characteristically brief telegram to Watts Gunn. Watts had had a very bad first round in the open championship at Oakmont last year, driving literally all over the course. Next morning he received this message from Stewart.

“Hit ’em hard, they’ll land somewhere.”

And that is a very splendid attitude to cultivate. Even the narrowest fairways are wide enough for a well-hit shot. The difficulty arises when we allow the sight of them to upset the manner of hitting.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Can Complain Because Rose Bushes Have Thorns, or Rejoice Because Thorn Bushes Have Roses

Abraham Lincoln? Alphonse Karr? B. Fay Mills? Roe Fulkerson? J. Kenfield Morley? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A popular quotation about achieving the proper perspective on life is often attributed to Abraham Lincoln:

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Optimistic and pessimistic viewpoints are ingeniously contrasted in this expression. One may emphasize the beauty and lovely fragrance of a rose, or one may become preoccupied with the threatening pain of a thorn. I’m curious to know whether Lincoln actually spoke these words. I can’t find the source anywhere, and I’d like to know the context.

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has located no substantive evidence that Abraham Lincoln wrote or spoke this quotation. Lincoln did mention roses and thorns when in 1850 he delivered a eulogy for Zachary Taylor who was the twelfth President of the United States. Here is an excerpt:¹

The Presidency, even to the most experienced politicians, is no bed of roses; and Gen. Taylor like others, found thorns within it. No human being can fill that station and escape censure.

The above statement was quite different from the saying under investigation.

The earliest evidence found by QI of a conceptual match using the same key vocabulary items was printed in a work by the prominent French journalist and author Alphonse Karr in 1853. The book “Lettres écrites de mon jardin” (“Letters written from my garden”) included a rhyming verse on this theme, but Karr’s introductory comment suggested an anonymous authorship:²

De leur meilleur côté tâchons de voir les choses:
Vous vous plaignez de voir les rosiers épineux;
Moi je me réjouis et rends grâces aux dieux
Que les épines aient des roses.

Here is one possible translation of the verse into English:

Let us try to see things from their better side:
You complain about seeing thorny rose bushes;
Me, I rejoice and give thanks to the gods
That thorns have roses.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Believe Those Who Are Seeking the Truth; Doubt Those Who Find It

Václav Havel? André Gide? François Truffaut? Marcel Proust? John Dingell Sr.? Luis Buñuel? Amanda Palmer? Voltaire? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a provocative saying about leadership, discipleship, and the search for truth that is commonly attributed to the Czech statesman Václav Havel who passed away in 2011. Here are two versions:

Follow the man who seeks the truth; run from the man who has found it.

Seek the company of those who search for truth; run from those who have found it.

Although I have connected these statements to Havel for years I recently began to doubt the ascription. I have been unable locate solid information about its provenance. Would you be willing to attempt to trace this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: A large and diverse set of expressions can be grouped together naturally with the two sayings presented by the questioner. Below are nine examples labeled with their years of publication. This exploration was conducted primarily using databases of English text, hence it was incomplete. Only the keystone first expression from Nobel laureate André Gide is listed here in French:

1952: Croyez ceux qui cherchent la vérité, doutez de ceux qui la trouvent.

1959: Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

1971: Love those who seek the truth; beware of those who find it.

1974: Love those who seek the truth; distrust those who have found it.

1980: Follow the man who seeks the truth. Shun the one who claims to have found it.

1986: Lead me to those who seek the truth, and deliver me from those who’ve found it.

2007: Follow the man who seeks the truth; run from the man who has found it.

2009: Honour those who seek the truth, but beware of those who’ve found it.

2010: I love the man who seeks the truth and hate the man who claims to have it.

In 1952 “Ainsi Soit-Il, Ou Les Jeux Sont Faits” by André Gide was released in France. The title in English was “So Be It: Or The Chips Are Down”. The following statement was included in the book:¹

Croyez ceux qui cherchent la vérité, doutez de ceux qui la trouvent; doutez de tout; mais ne doutez pas de vous-mêmes.

In 1959 a translation of Gide’s volume to English by Justin O’Brien was created. Here is an extended excerpt. Boldface has been added to the excerpts below. In this passage the boldface corresponds to the French text immediately above:²

I resist giving advice; and in a discussion I beat a hasty retreat. But I know that today many seek their way gropingly and don’t know in whom to trust. To them I say: believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it; doubt everything, but don’t doubt of yourself. There is more light in Christ’s words than in any other human word. This is not enough, it seems, to be a Christian: in addition, one must believe. Well, I do not believe. Having said this, I am your brother.

QI hypothesizes that the other eight statements above were derived directly or indirectly from the words of Gide. The second statement labeled 1959 is simply the translation created by O’Brien.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Reorganizing is a Wonderful Method for Creating the Illusion of Progress while Actually Producing Confusion, Inefficiency, and Demoralization

Gaius Petronius Arbiter? Robert Townsend? Charlton Ogburn Jr.? Apocryphal?

**Example of Complex Reorganization Chart from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: A famous book about management titled “Up the Organization: How to Stop the Corporation from Stifling People and Strangling Profits” contains a very funny and insightful quotation about reorganization:¹

I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.

I was surprised to find that a footnote attributed these words to Gaius Petronius Arbiter who was the ancient Roman author of the “Satyricon”. The footnote gave an approximate date of “circa A.D. 60”, but the statement sounds modern to me, and I have been unable to find any citations to ancient works. Would you examine this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Gaius Petronius Arbiter employed this quotation. Instead, QI believes the passage above was derived from words written by Charlton Ogburn Jr. in 1957.

Ogburn participated in the Burma Campaign in World War II, and wrote a piece about his experiences titled “Merrill’s Marauders: The Truth about an Incredible Adventure” that was published in the January 1957 issue of “Harper’s Magazine”. The article included the following passage:²

We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. Presumably the plans for our employment were being changed. I was to learn later in life that, perhaps because we are so good at organizing, we tend as a nation to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization. During our reorganizations, several commanding officers were tried out on us, which added to the discontinuity.

QI believes that the text above was subsequently simplified and streamlined to yield the popular modern statement.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: What Is the Difference Between a Misfortune and a Calamity?

Benjamin Disraeli? Prince Jérôme Napoléon? Napoleon III? French Academician? Mr. Snigger? Suffragette? Max O’Rell? Paul Blouët? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The statesman Benjamin Disraeli was famous for his witticisms and barbs. Reportedly he was once asked about the difference in meaning between the words “misfortune” and “calamity”, and he constructed a jest aimed at his political rival William Ewart Gladstone:

Well, if Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune; and if anybody pulled him out, that would be a calamity.

The reference works I examined gave citations in the twentieth century, but Disraeli died in 1881. Is this tale apocryphal?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There are many versions of this joke, and it has been circulating and evolving for more than 150 years. For example, the pair of contrasting words has included the following: accident versus malheur; accident versus misfortune; accident versus calamity; mischance versus misfortune; mishap versus misfortune; and misfortune versus calamity.

The hazardous event depicted has varied over time: falling into a pit, a pond, an unnamed river, the Seine, or the Thames. The identity of the endangered individual has also changed: Prince Jérôme Napoléon (also known as Plon-Plon), Napoleon III, the Emperor of the French, Mr. Bright, Sir Bilberry, Mr. Snippson, William Gladstone, or David Lloyd George.

This variability makes tracing the quip difficult. The earliest instance known to QI appeared in May 1861 in the English newspaper “The Leeds Mercury” which suggested that the anecdote originated in France. The target of disdain was Prince Jérôme Napoléon. The tale begins with a discussion between the Prince Imperial and the Emperor of France about synonyms and other closely related words. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

. . . the juvenile Imperial blood asked his parent to explain to him the difference between the words “accident” and “misfortune,” which have certainly a little closer affinity in French than English, and seem to require a little elucidation. After a pause for an illustration, His Majesty said, “I will tell you, my boy, the exact difference. It would be an accident if your cousin, Prince Napoleon, were to tumble into the Seine—but it would be a misfortune if any one were to help him out again.“

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.