W. C. Fields? Clifford Terry? Corey Ford? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The famous comedian W. C. Fields apparently told a hilarious joke about whiskey. Here are three versions: (1) I always carry a flask of whisky in case of snake bite. I also carry a small snake. (2) I like to keep a bottle of …
Tag Archives: W. C. Fields
Never Blame the Booster for What the Sucker Does
Damon Runyon? W. C. Fields? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The famous Broadway show “Guys and Dolls” was based on stories and characters from the pen of journalist Damon Runyon. Apparently, he was once asked about his favorite motto, and he presented the following: Never blame the booster for what the sucker does. Would you please …
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I Never Vote For Anybody. I Always Vote Against
W. C. Fields? Franklin P. Adams? H. L. Mencken? Richard Croker? Franklin D. Roosevelt? Will Rogers? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a family of sardonic sayings about the behavior of voters. Here are three examples: I never vote for anybody. I always vote against. People vote against somebody rather than for somebody. The people never …
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You May Humbug the Town for Some Time Longer as a Tragedian; But Comedy Is a Serious Thing
David Garrick? Thomas Campbell? George Colman? John Simon? Wesley Ruggles? W. C. Fields? Carlotta Monti? Penelope Keith? Rex Harrison? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Comedy is often lighthearted; hence, it is counter-intuitive to view it as a serious business, yet the creators and participants of humorous works face a harsh and crowded entertainment market; they must …
We Are Confronted by an Insurmountable Opportunity
Walt Kelly? Don Mitchell? Fred W. Bewley? Leon Shimkin? A. C. Monteith? W. Willard Wirtz? Hubert Humphrey? Howard J. Samuels? George H. W. Bush? W. C. Fields? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Walt Kelly authored the magnificent comic strip “Pogo” featuring hilarious wordplay. He has been credited with the following oxymoronic phrase: Our problem is an …
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I’m Looking for Loopholes
W. C. Fields? Ben Hecht? Gene Fowler? Thomas Mitchell? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The brilliant comedian and movie actor W. C. Fields led an unrestrained showbiz life displaying a fondness for alcohol and mistresses. He was not known as a religious man, but as his death approached he began to peruse the Bible. When a …
Insanity Is Hereditary. You Can Get It from Your Children
Sam Levenson? Oscar Levant? W. C. Fields? Helen Gorn Sutin? Dave Berg? Ann Landers? Erma Bombeck? Grace Kelly? Dear Quote Investigator: Many parents concur with a very funny quip that reverses the traditional notion of inheritance: Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids. This joke has been attributed to the newspaper columnist Erma …
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I Would Rather Have Two Girls at 21 Each Than One At 42
W. C. Fields? Great Lester? Fred Allen? Anonymous Vaudevillian? Dear Quote Investigator: I have been trying to trace the following gag: I’d rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42. This line is usually attributed to the famous comedian W. C. Fields who played cantankerous and henpecked characters in movies. Would …
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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again. Then Quit. There’s No Use Being a Damn Fool About It
W. C. Fields? Stephen Leacock? Justin J. Burns? Henry Morgan? George Burns? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A well-known saying about persistence has become an energyless cliché: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. The following parody version is usually attributed to the famous comedian W. C. Fields: If at first you don’t succeed, …
It Seems As If Anything I Like Is Either Illegal, Immoral, or Fattening
Alexander Woollcott? W. C. Fields? Frank Rand of St. Louis? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The candor of my favorite saying makes it wonderfully humorous. Here are three versions I have seen: All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Anything in life that’s any fun is either immoral, illegal …
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