Quote Investigator® – Page 55

He That Complies Against His Will, Is of His Own Opinion Still

Samuel Butler? Frances Burney? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Force can be used to compel a person to exhibit a specific behavior, but it is much more difficult to change the mind of a person. Compliance does not denote mental submission.
The 17th-century poet Samuel Butler composed a couplet expressing this notion. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: Samuel Butler lived between 1613 and 1680. His most famous work was a long satirical poem titled “Hudibras”. The three parts of the poem were combined into a single edition published in 1684. The quotation appeared in third part within canto three. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1] 1684, Hudibras in Three Parts (by Samuel Butler), Part 3, Canto III, Quote Page 202, Printed and Sold by W. Rogers, London. (Early English Books Online 2; ProQuest)

He that complies against his Will,
Is of his own Opinion still;
Which he may adhere to, yet disown,
For Reasons to himself best known

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References

References
↑1	1684, Hudibras in Three Parts (by Samuel Butler), Part 3, Canto III, Quote Page 202, Printed and Sold by W. Rogers, London. (Early English Books Online 2; ProQuest)

Government Can Easily Exist Without Law, But Law Cannot Exist Without Government

Bertrand Russell? Leo Rosten? Apocryphal?
Dear Quote Investigator: The relationship between government and law can be deftly summarized with two contrasting statements:

Government can exist without law(s).
Law(s) cannot exist without government.

These dual notions have been attributed to the famous British mathematician and social critic Bertrand Russell. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In 1950 Bertrand Russell published a collection titled “Unpopular Essays”. The quotation appeared in the essay “Ideas That Have Helped Mankind”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1] 1950, Unpopular Essays by Bertrand Russell, Chapter 9: Ideas That Have Helped Mankind, Start Page 124, Quote Page 140, Simon and Schuster, New York. (Verified with scans)

Government can easily exist without law, but law cannot exist without government—a fact which was forgotten by those who framed the League of Nations and the Kellogg Pact. Government may be defined as a concentration of the collective forces of a community in a certain organization which, in virtue of this concentration, is able to control individual citizens and to resist pressure from foreign states.

The elegance of the statement stems from the repetition of the key words “government” and “law” in transposed order. Variant statements attributed to Russell have entered circulation over time. The word “law” is sometimes replaced by “laws”. This replacement occurs for either one or both instances of “law”.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1	1950, Unpopular Essays by Bertrand Russell, Chapter 9: Ideas That Have Helped Mankind, Start Page 124, Quote Page 140, Simon and Schuster, New York. (Verified with scans)

Milli-Helen: The Quantity of Beauty Required To Launch Exactly One Ship

Isaac Asimov? W. A. H. Rushton? R. C. Winton? Edgar J. Westbury? Christopher Marlowe? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Standards of beauty are notoriously subjective and variable. Different qualities are prized over time, and distinct cultures value divergent attributes.

In the domain of Greek mythology, Helen of Troy was the most beautiful woman in the world. English playwright Christopher Marlowe’s tragedy “Doctor Faustus” contains the following lines about her:

Was this the face that launch’d a thousand ships,
And burnt the topless towers of Ilium

An aspiring humorist proposed the “Helen” as a measure of female pulchritude. Thus, the “milli-Helen” (one thousandth of a “Helen”) was the amount of beauty sufficient to launch one ship. The hyphen is sometimes omitted. This quip has been attributed to science fiction author Isaac Asimov and physiologist W. A. H. Rushton. Would you please examine this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest published evidence known to QI appeared in the London humor magazine “Punch” in 1954. The quip was attributed to an unnamed “professor of natural philosophy”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1]1954 June 23, Punch or The London Charivari, Volume 226, Issue Number 5936, Page Title: Punch: Charivaria, Quote Page 737, Column 3, Published at the Office of Punch, London, England. (Gale Cengage … Continue reading

Scientists and aesthetes alike have heard with interest that the “unit of absolute beauty” has been invented by a professor of natural philosophy, who calls it a Helen and explains that it is divisible into millihelens. It is hoped that the millihelen may in time be interpreted in terms of power, when it should prove handy for launching a single ship.

In 1992 science fiction luminary Isaac Asimov made the interesting claim that he invented the term “millihelen” during a discussion with a friend in the early 1940s. See the 1992 citation given further below. QI has not yet located substantive support for this claim.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1	1954 June 23, Punch or The London Charivari, Volume 226, Issue Number 5936, Page Title: Punch: Charivaria, Quote Page 737, Column 3, Published at the Office of Punch, London, England. (Gale Cengage “Punch” Historical Archive)

Quote Origin: No Plan Survives First Contact With the Enemy

Helmuth von Moltke the Elder? Carl von Clausewitz? Dwight D. Eisenhower? Mike Tyson? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Anybody who is attempting to accomplish a major project must be flexible. Planning is important, but adaptability is essential. Here are two versions of a pertinent adage from the domain of warfare and competition:

No plan survives contact with the enemy.
No plan survives first contact with the enemy.

This saying has been attributed to Prussian Field Marshal Helmuth von Moltke the Elder and Prussian General Carl von Clausewitz. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1871 Helmuth von Moltke wrote an essay about military strategy that included a lengthy statement that was essentially equivalent to the concise adage. Here is an excerpt in German followed by an English translation. Boldface added to by QI:¹

Kein Operationsplan reicht mit einiger Sicherheit über das erste Zusammentreffen mit der feindlichen Hauptmacht hinaus. Nur der Laie glaubt in dem Verlauf eines Feldzuges die konsequente Durchführung eines im voraus gefaßten in allen Einzelheiten überlegten und bis ans Ende festgehaltenen, ursprünglichen Gedankens zu erblicken.

No plan of operations extends with any certainty beyond the first encounter with the main enemy forces. Only the layman believes that in the course of a campaign he sees the consistent implementation of an original thought that has been considered in advance in every detail and retained to the end.

Over time Moltke’s statement was condensed to yield the currently popular adages.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Things of Nature Do Not Really Belong To Us. We Should Leave Them To Our Children As We Have Received Them

Oscar Wilde? Lloyd Lewis? Henry Justin Smith? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous wit Oscar Wilde apparently expressed some forward thinking ideas about the environment. He believed that the natural world should be preserved so that it can be conveyed to our children in the condition it was received. Would you please help me to find a citation.

Reply from Quote Investigator: Oscar Wilde visited Canada in 1882 and delivered a lecture in Ottawa on May 16 about “Art Decoration”. The following day the “Ottawa Citizen” reported on his clothes, his demeanor, and his speech. Wilde had noticed that the Ottawa river was filled with sawdust and the air was filled with smoke, so he diverged from his main topic to discuss pollution. The newspaper responded to Wilde as follows. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

That it is a pity that the Ottawa should be dirtied with saw dust has been long admitted, and that pure sky should be dirtied with smoke may also be a pity, but Mr. Wilde goes too far when he advocates that no man should be allowed to carry on a business which produces either of these results.

The following week Wilde delivered a lecture in Kingston, Canada, and the local newspaper reported that he objected to pollution because it damaged the common inheritance of humankind:²

He had recently been in Ottawa, and had seen a noble river choked with sawdust. This he considered an outrage, as no one had a right to pollute the air or the water, which are the common inheritance of all.

During an interview with a Kingston journalist, Wilde suggested that industrialists should be forced to perform some form of recycling:³

The public, he thought, should compel manufacturers to consume their own smoke, make use of their sawdust, and discharge their effluvia somewhere else than into beautiful rivers or life giving atmosphere. Ruskin had induced Manchester to stop similar pollution.

The citations above appeared contemporaneously with Wilde’s North American sojourn. The earliest match known to QI depicting natural resources as an inheritance for children appeared in the 1936 book “Oscar Wilde Discovers America” by Lloyd Lewis and Henry Justin Smith. The quotation below appeared in a section about Wilde’s 1882 visit to Canada:⁴

At Ottawa, where he spoke next, Wilde realized how completely Canada had followed America into industrialism and business . . . And in that very April he had read complaints of the American Forestry Congress, which was organizing in Cincinnati against the rapid waste of forests.

As a Socialist, the poet opposed such exploitation of natural resources. “The things of nature do not really belong to us,” he said; “we should leave them to our children as we have received them.”

How this philosophy, if put into action, would have delayed the settlement of the West, was a question he did not face.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Co-Authoring a Book Is Like Three People Getting Together To Have a Baby

Evelyn Waugh? Agatha Christie? Hilary St. George Saunders? Leonard Lyons? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Collaborating on a complex project like writing a novel is impossible for many people. English writer Evelyn Waugh said something like the following:

Coauthoring a book is like three people getting together to have a baby.

Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In April 1943 the prominent gossip columnist Leonard Lyons wrote about British novelist Evelyn Waugh and British historian Hilary St. George Saunders. Waugh was surprised to learn that Saunders was able to work together with another writer to successfully coauthor a book. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1] 1943 April 7, The Washington Post, Times Square Tattle by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page B6, Column 4, Washington D.C. (ProQuest)

Of Saunders’ other writings, Waugh said: “But he collaborates. I never can understand how two men can write a book together. To me, that’s like three people getting together to have a baby.”

In the age of surrogate mothers and in vitro fertilization the notion of three (or more) people collaborating to produce a child is no longer outlandish.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1	1943 April 7, The Washington Post, Times Square Tattle by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page B6, Column 4, Washington D.C. (ProQuest)

When First We Fall in Love, We Feel That We Know All There Is To Know About Life, and Perhaps We Are Right

Mignon McLaughlin? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: First love is exhilarating. Infatuated lovers feel like they have acquired esoteric knowledge of the universe. This might even be true. The witty journalist Mignon McLaughlin made this point using a different phrasing. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In 1963 McLaughlin published “The Neurotic’s Notebook” which included the following item. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1] 1963, The Neurotic’s Notebook by Mignon McLaughlin, Chapter 1: Love and Marriage, Quote Page 13, The Bobbs-Merrill Company, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Verified with scans)

When first we fall in love, we feel that we know all there is to know about life, and perhaps we are right.

McLaughlin shared other insights about love and desire in her book:^[2] 1963, The Neurotic’s Notebook by Mignon McLaughlin, Chapter 1: Love and Marriage, Quote Page 9 and 13, The Bobbs-Merrill Company, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Verified with scans)

Love, like money, is offered most freely to those in least need of it.

When desire has been satisfied, we can begin to think seriously about love.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “When First We Fall in Love, We Feel That We Know All There Is To Know About Life, and Perhaps We Are Right”

References

References
↑1	1963, The Neurotic’s Notebook by Mignon McLaughlin, Chapter 1: Love and Marriage, Quote Page 13, The Bobbs-Merrill Company, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Verified with scans)
↑2	1963, The Neurotic’s Notebook by Mignon McLaughlin, Chapter 1: Love and Marriage, Quote Page 9 and 13, The Bobbs-Merrill Company, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Verified with scans)

You Have the Same Chance of Winning a Lottery Whether You Play Or Not

Fran Lebowitz? Herb Caen? Don Bleu? Rob Morse? Rebecca Blagrave? Liz Smith? William Deresiewicz?

Dear Quote Investigator: The probability that you will purchase a lottery ticket worth millions of dollars is miniscule. Here are two comically exaggerated quips based on this observation:

I figure your odds of winning the lottery are the same, whether you buy a ticket or whether you don’t.

I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Commentator Fran Lebowitz has received credit for this saying. Would you please explore its provenance?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI occurs in a video segment dated September 18, 1985 from the television show “Late Night with David Letterman” during which Fran Lebowitz spoke about gambling to the host Letterman. The segment is available via YouTube. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1]YouTube video, Title: Fran Lebowitz Collection on Letterman, 1980-2010, Uploaded on January 11, 2021, Uploaded by: Don Giller, Airdate of television episode: September 18, 1985, (Date is shown at 1 … Continue reading

We have a lottery here in New York. I feel you have the same chance of winning a lottery whether you play or not.

Currently, Lebowitz is the leading candidate for originator of this humorous observation. The statement’s phrasing is highly variable which makes it difficult to trace. QI has not independently verified the date of the video segment.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1	YouTube video, Title: Fran Lebowitz Collection on Letterman, 1980-2010, Uploaded on January 11, 2021, Uploaded by: Don Giller, Airdate of television episode: September 18, 1985, (Date is shown at 1 hour, 45 minutes, 18 seconds), (Quotation starts at 1 hour, 51 minutes, 50 seconds of 2 hours, 30 minutes, 44 seconds) (Accessed on youtube.com on April 29, 2021) link

Politician: Straddling the Fence With Both Ears To the Ground

H. L. Mencken? Arthur Stanwood Pier? L. Curry Morton? Life Magazine? Sylvester K. Stevens? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A startling and funny depiction of a politician has been constructed by mixing two vivid metaphors:

A politician is an animal who can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

This remark has been credited to the influential Baltimore curmudgeon H. L. Mencken. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: When faced with a significant decision some people refuse to make a commitment. These indecisive people inspired three eloquent figurative phrases: “sitting on the fence”, “standing on the fence”, and “straddling the fence”. Widespread use of these phrases occurred in the nineteenth century.

People who carefully monitor trends and listen to rumors inspired the descriptive phrase “keeping an ear to the ground” which also achieved widespread use in the nineteenth century. Eventually, a physically impossible version emerged: “keeping both ears to the ground”.

The comical remark under examination evolved over time as the metaphors were combined, enhanced, and applied to politicians.

In 1901 teacher and novelist Arthur Stanwood Pier published “The Sentimentalists”. During one scene the character Virginia criticized her brother Vernon. She comically combined five different figurative phrases. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1]1901, The Sentimentalists: A Novel by Arthur Stanwood Pier, Chapter 11: The Hero Gains in Knowledge and Loses in Wisdom Quote Page 125 and 126, Harper & Brothers Publishers, New York. (Google … Continue reading

“You’re always straddling a fence, with one ear to the ground to see which way the wind blows,” said Virginia. “It’s a picturesque attitude, but you don’t get much leverage. You’d do better if you came out into the open and showed your hand.”

“My sister talks like a monologue artist in a vaudeville show,” complained Vernon.

The above instance cleverly combined metaphors, but it referred to one ear and not two. Also, the remark was not applied to politicians in general.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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References

References
↑1	1901, The Sentimentalists: A Novel by Arthur Stanwood Pier, Chapter 11: The Hero Gains in Knowledge and Loses in Wisdom Quote Page 125 and 126, Harper & Brothers Publishers, New York. (Google Books Full View) link

Die, My Dear Doctor! That’s the Last Thing I Shall Do

Groucho Marx? Lord Palmerston? Old Bishop? John Cordy Jeaffreson? Söndags-Nisse? Robert Lee Bullard? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A famous person lying on their deathbed overheard distraught visitors discussing mortality. The stricken but still lively individual sat bolt upright and declared:

Die? That’s the last thing I’ll do.

This humorously redundant statement has been attributed to U.S. comedian Groucho Marx and U.K. statesman Lord Palmerston. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The phrasing of this quip has evolved over time. Here is a sampling with dates:

1866 Jun 28: Dying was the last thing a man should think about.
1866 Dec 01: Die, my dear doctor! That’s the last thing I think of doing.
1867 Mar 01: As for my dying, that is the last thing I shall do.
1886 May 22: Die, my dear doctor! That’s the last thing I shall do.
1901 Mar 25: Die? That’s the last thing I’ll do.
1925 Jan 18: Die . . . That is the last thing I intend to do.
1933 Oct 12: The last thing that I intend to do, brethren, is to die.

Lord Palmerston (Henry John Temple) died on October 18, 1865. The quip was attributed to him by December 1866. He suffered from gout during his final years, and he reportedly delivered the line to a doctor while suffering from the ailment. Lord Palmerston is the leading candidate for crafter of this quip based on current data.

There is one complication. A variant joke was ascribed to an “old Bishop” by June 28, 1866. This date was after Palmerston’s death but before he received credit. Hence, it is possible that an existing anonymous joke was simple reassigned to Palmerston posthumously.

Groucho Marx was born in 1890 and died in 1977. The joke was ascribed to him by 2008. This is very weak evidence, and QI believes the attribution to Groucho is spurious.

Below are selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Die, My Dear Doctor! That’s the Last Thing I Shall Do”