Quote Investigator® – Page 187

Quote Origin: Rap Is Black America’s TV Station

Chuck D? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Perhaps you can help locate a quotation attributed to the rapper Chuck D of the group Public Enemy. I do not know the exact wording, but the gist was the following:

Rap music is the CNN for black people.

He apparently said this during an interview in the late 1980s, but I haven’t been able to pin it down.

Reply from Quote Investigator: In September 1988 SPIN magazine published an interview with the prominent rapper Chuck D (Carlton Ridenhour), and he employed a version of this saying. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

Rap serves as the communication that they don’t get for themselves to make them feel good about themselves. Rap is black America’s TV station. It gives a whole perspective of what exists and what black life is about.

The citation above was the earliest evidence located by QI and CNN was not mentioned in the expression. In July 1989 Chuck D spoke at a festival in Indiana about the power and popularity of rap music. His words were reported in the Philadelphia Inquirer of Pennsylvania. He used the phrase “headline news” which was the name of the primary channel for CNN news:²

Rap performer Chuck D. of Public Enemy says rappers are idolized by youths because they tell it like it is. “We’re almost like headline news,” he said. “Rap music is the invisible TV station that black America never had. . . . Public Enemy and rap music are dispatchers of information.” All this was said Sunday at the Indiana Black Expo in Indianapolis, at which dozens gathered to discuss rap music.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: There Are Two Classes of People in the World; Those Who Divide People into Two Classes and Those Who Do Not

Neil deGrasse Tyson? Robert Benchley? Kenneth Boulding? Ross F. Papprill? Groucho Marx? Jeremy Bentham? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I enjoy humor based on clever self-referential statements, and a great example is the following:

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don’t.

The version of the joke given above appeared in a tweet by the astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.¹

Do you know who originated this quip?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest instance of this joke located by QI was published in “Vanity Fair” magazine in February 1920. The humorist and actor Robert Benchley wrote “an extremely literary review” of an unlikely book, a massive tome with densely printed type: The New York City Telephone Directory. Benchley was unhappy with the “plot” and said, “It lacks coherence. It lacks stability.” His article included the following memorable remark. Boldface has been added to excerpts:²

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not. Both classes are extremely unpleasant to meet socially, leaving practically no one in the world whom one cares very much to know.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Most Conversations Are Simply Monologues Delivered in the Presence of a Witness

Mark Twain? Margaret Millar? Elizabeth P. O’Connor? Rebecca West? Leo Buscaglia? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following entertaining remark is often attributed to Mark Twain:

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.

I have also seen these words ascribed to the award-winning mystery writer Margaret Millar. Could you determine who should be credited?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Mark Twain wrote or spoke the statement above. The phrase should be credited to Margaret Millar although the original wording was slightly different because it used the singular word “witness”. In the 1942 novel “The Weak-Eyed Bat” Millar wrote the following exchange. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

“As a matter of fact, have you never noticed that most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness?”

“No,” Jakes said.

“Well, listen next time you hear a couple of women talking. They’ll each have a list of likes and dislikes that they intend to reel off. Now wouldn’t it be much simpler for Mrs. Smith to sit in front of a mirror and read her list without competition…”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Dance Like Nobody’s Watching

Mark Twain? Satchel Paige? William Purkey? Susanna Clark? Richard Leigh? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following words are attributed to a variety of people including Mark Twain, Satchel Paige, and William Purkey:

Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Dance like nobody’s watching,
and live like it’s heaven on earth.

The ordering of the lines varies, and sometimes other statements are inserted. Could you explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1987 the songwriters Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh composed “Come from the Heart” which included the following lyrics:

You’ve got to sing like you don’t need the money
Love like you’ll never get hurt
You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watchin’
It’s gotta come from the heart if you want it to work.

QI believes that the other sets of expressions containing the statement “dance like nobody’s watching” were derived from these lyrics. There is no substantive support for ascriptions to Mark Twain or Satchel Paige. Additional information about the attribution to William Purkey is given further below. The important reference work “The Yale Book of Quotations” has an entry ascribing the lyrics to Clark and Leigh.¹

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Fanatic: One Who Can’t Change His Mind and Won’t Change the Subject

Winston Churchill? Evan Esar? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following humorous definition is often attributed to the statesman Winston Churchill:

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

Could you explore the accuracy of this ascription?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is some evidence that Winston Churchill employed this phrase circa 1952 because it is listed in an important compilation of quotations created by Churchill’s friend Kay Halle who was a journalist. Details for this citation are given further below.

Yet, the first evidence of this saying located by QI was printed nearly a decade earlier in the 1943 volume “Esar’s Comic Dictionary” by Evan Esar. Entries in this collection were formatted as definitions; for example, here were two humorous explications listed for the word “fanatic”:¹

fanatic.
A person who redoubles his efforts after having forgotten his aims.
One who can’t change his opinion and won’t change the subject.

No attribution was provided by Esar, and the wording was slightly different in this instance: “opinion” was used instead of “mind”.

In 1945 the quip appeared in a column titled “Dizzy Daffynitions” by Paul H. Gilbert published in the “Oakland Tribune” of Oakland, California:²

FANATIC: One who can’t change his opinion and won’t change the subject.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Covers of This Book Are Too Far Apart

Ambrose Bierce? Alan Le May? Jack Benny? Mark Twain? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The increasing popularity of ebooks is threatening to make one of my favorite quotations obsolete. The wonderful humorist Ambrose Bierce was asked to evaluate a lengthy soporific tome and according to legend he handed in a devastating and hilarious one-line review:

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Did Bierce really write this, and what was the name of the book being evaluated?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI of a version of this quip was printed in 1899. The first citation connecting the joke to Ambrose Bierce was published more than two decades later in 1923. Details for this cite are presented further below. Bierce disappeared in 1913 and his final fate is still mysterious. The linkage of the saying to Bierce is weak because the 1923 claim appeared so late.

In September 1899 the “Logansport Pharos” of Indiana printed a short humor item in which two stock figures named “Author” and “Friend” exchanged remarks. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

An Honest Criticism.

Author—Now I want your honest opinion. Tell me what faults you see in my book.
Friend—Well, for one thing, I think the covers are too far apart.—New York Journal.

The paper listed an acknowledgement to a New York periodical, but it did not provide an attribution. The same comical dialog was published in other newspapers in 1899 such as the “North Adams Transcript” of Massachusetts,² the “Ann Arbor Daily Argus” of Michigan,³ the “Biloxi Daily Herald” of Mississippi,⁴ and the “Duluth Evening Herald” of Minnesota which acknowledged the “San Francisco Examiner” of California.⁵

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Only “Ism” in which Hollywood Believes Is Plagiarism

Dorothy Parker? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: From Fascism, Marxism, and Anarchism to Consumerism, Materialism, and Postmodernism the world has been infatuated by and convulsed by “isms”. The famous wit Dorothy Parker reportedly spoke the following line while she was writing screenplays in Hollywood:

The only “ism” Hollywood really believes in is plagiarism.

Did she really say this?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in the 1941 book “Hollywood: The Movie Colony, The Movie Makers” by Leo C. Rosten. The political stances of individuals in Hollywood have often attracted controversy. Yet, in the past the community was also criticized for being too apolitical or apathetic. Rosten wrote the following of Hollywood in the 1920s and early 1930s. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

The harsher view found Hollywood politically indifferent, innocent, and ignorant, populated by rich children who lolled in an Arcadia of swimming pools and bonbons. The only “ism” in which Hollywood believed, Dorothy Parker remarked, was plagiarism.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: You Shall Either Die Upon the Gallows or of the Pox

Samuel Foote? 4th Earl of Sandwich? James Quin? John Wilkes? William Gladstone? Benjamin Disraeli?

Question for Quote Investigator: The sharpest and funniest retort I know of was said in response to a harsh insult:

You, sir, will certainly either die upon the gallows or of a social disease.

That depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.

Can you tell me who spoke these lines?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Many versions of this dialog have been presented in books and periodicals over a span of more than two hundred years. In addition, the participants in this verbal thrust and parry have varied in different renditions. Here are five pairs of antagonists that have been proposed:

(1) 4th Earl of Sandwich and Samuel Foote.
(2) A Nobleman and James Quin.
(3) 4th Earl of Sandwich and John Wilkes.
(4) William Ewart Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli.
(5) 4th Earl of Sandwich and Charles James Fox.

The earliest evidence located by QI was published in a London periodical called “The European Magazine” in 1784. A bracing encounter between Lord Sandwich and Samuel Foote was described. Boldface has been added to excerpts below:¹

Bon Mot of the late Sam. Foote—Sam. was invited to a convivial meeting at the house of the late Sir Francis Blake Delaval. Lord Sandwich was one of the guests upon the same occasion. When the Comedian entered, the Peer exclaimed, “what are you alive still?” “Yes, my Lord,” replied Foote. “Pray Sam,” retorted his Lordship, “which do you think will happen to you first, the experience of a certain disease, or an intimate acquaintance with the gallows?” “Why,” rejoined the Comedian, “that depends upon circumstances, and they are these, whether I prefer embracing your Lordship’s mistress, or, your principles.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Wish I Was As Sure of Any One Thing As He is of Everything

Lord Melbourne? William Windham? Benjamin Disraeli? Sydney Smith? William Lamb? Thomas B. Macaulay?

Question for Quote Investigator: Each of us has encountered an individual who with highhanded convictions presents an answer to every question. There is a famous witticism aimed at a person of this type:

I only wish that I was as cocksure of any one thing as he is sure of everything.

Do you know who crafted this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There are many different versions of this statement which evolved over time. The earliest evidence indicates that William Lamb who was the Second Viscount Melbourne constructed this quip, and he aimed the barb at the prominent historian and politician Thomas Babington Macaulay. The first strong match located by QI was printed in 1851. Boldface has been added:

“I wish,” said he, “that I knew any thing as well as Tom Macaulay knows every thing.”

Details for this cite are given further below.

Here are selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Already Taken

Oscar Wilde? Thomas Merton? Gilbert Perreira? Menards? America Ferrera? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: I have spent hours trying to determine whether Oscar Wilde wrote the following as commonly claimed:

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

I have not found a single good citation. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Oscar Wilde made this remark. It is not listed in “The Wit & Wisdom of Oscar Wilde”, an extensive collection compiled by quotation expert Ralph Keyes.¹

The earliest compelling thematic match known to QI appeared in the literary journal “The Hudson Review” in 1967. The influential spiritual thinker and mystic Thomas Merton published an essay titled “Day of a Stranger”² which referred to “being yourself”:³

In an age where there is much talk about “being yourself” I reserve to myself the right to forget about being myself, since in any case there is very little chance of my being anybody else. Rather it seems to me that when one is too intent on “being himself” he runs the risk of impersonating a shadow.

Merton humorously stated that there was “very little chance of my being anybody else”, whereas the quotation under examination offered a different comical rationale: “everyone else is already taken”, but the crux was similar. Interestingly, Merton cautioned against self-consciously trying to be oneself.

The “Day of a Stranger” essay was reprinted multiple times in anthologies, journals, and collections. It may have facilitated the later construction of the quotation. Many thanks to adept researcher Bodhipaksa who told QI about this citation.

The first strong match located by QI was disseminated via the Usenet discussion system in December 1999. The words were appended to the end of a message posted to a newsgroup used primarily by residents of the Netherlands. The statement was enclosed in quotation marks signaling that it was already in circulation; also, no attribution was specified:⁴

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

Oscar Wilde did write several remarks about identity and appearance that were thematically related to this quotation, but the perspective was different.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.