During Christmas People Will Forget the Past With a Present

Gladys Parker? Don Marquis? Walter Winchell? Uncle Ezra? Phyllis Diller? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A collection of Christmas season quips employ wordplay based on “past” and “present”. Here are two examples:

What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present.

At Christmas time youngsters want the past forgotten and the present remembered.

Remarks of this type have been attributed to humorist Don Marquis, cartoonist Gladys Parker, and comedian Phyllis Diller. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: This family of jokes is difficult to trace because the phrasing is variable. In January 1933 a one-panel cartoon called “Flapper Fanny Says” by Gladys Parker depicted a woman opening a present. The caption said the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1933 January 19, Public Opinion, (Caption of one panel cartoon: Flapper Fanny Says by Gladys Parker), Quote Page 12, Column 3, Chambersburg, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com) [/ref]

Nothing smoothes out the past like a present.

This instance of the quip did not mention Christmas, but it contained the key wordplay elements.

In February 1933 the “Brooklyn Daily Eagle” of New York printed an instance about birthdays with an anonymous attribution:[ref] 1933 February 24, Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Reverting to Type by Art Arthur, Quote Page 12, Column 2, Brooklyn, New York. (Newspapers_com) [/ref]

… the latest bit of wisdom scribbled on the bulletin board at Connie’s Inn reads, “On her birthday every girl wants her past forgotten and her presents remembered”

In July 1934 Gladys Parker revisited this notion in her one-panel cartoon “Flapper Fanny Says”. Parker’s illustration depicted a woman tending the flowers on a trellis, and the caption said:[ref] 1934 July 3, The Canton Repository, (Caption of one panel cartoon: Flapper Fanny Says by Gladys Parker), Quote Page 3, Column 4, Canton, Ohio. (GenealogyBank) [/ref]

Many a person will forget the past for a present.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Science Can Never Solve One Problem Without Raising Ten More Problems

George Bernard Shaw? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Scientific knowledge is incomplete and tentative. Superior scientific theories regularly supersede existing theories. The knowledge provided is flawed, but the process is self-correcting and self-improving.

Irish playwright and activist George Bernard Shaw bluntly stated that science was always wrong. He believed that every time science solved a problem it introduced ten more problems. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In 1930 George Bernard Shaw delivered a speech in London honoring physicist Albert Einstein. The address was broadcast in the U.S., and a transcript appeared in “The New York Times”. Shaw presented a contrast between the certainties provided by religion and science. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1930 October 29, New York Times, Shaw and Einstein Speeches, Quote Page 12, Column 3, New York. (ProQuest) [/ref]

Religion is always right. Religion protects us against that great problem which we all must face. Science is always wrong; it is the very artifice of men. Science can never solve one problem without raising ten more problems.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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You’re Never Too Old To Become Younger

Mae West? George Christy? Barbara Rowes? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A prominent movie star delivered a paradoxical line about aging:

You are never too old to become younger.

Would you please help to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In 1969 Hollywood columnist George Christy interviewed the famous actress Mae West in the pages of “The Los Angeles Times”. She spoke about her youthful philosophy. The ellipsis appeared in the original text. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1969 December 21, Los Angeles Times, Section: West Magazine, ‘Too Much of a Good Thing Can be Wonderful’ by George Christy, Start Page 25, Quote Page 28, Column 2, Los Angeles, California. (ProQuest) [/ref]

I’ve taken good care of myself all my life . . . you’re never too old to become younger. That’s my philosophy. You can do it by eating and living properly. And if you need a lift, why not?

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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It Isn’t Enough To Write So You Will Be Understood. You Have To Write So You Can’t Be Misunderstood

Quintilian? William Cobbett? John Cooke? Charles Haddon Spurgeon? W. E. Smith? Walter Winchell? Rollin D. Salisbury? William H. Taft?

Dear Quote Investigator: A maxim about the goal of communication expresses an ideal that is desirable but nearly impossible to achieve. Here are three versions:

(1) You must not only speak so that people can understand you, but so that they cannot misunderstand you.

(2) Teach not only so that the children can understand you, but so that they cannot misunderstand you.

(3) You must write not so that you can be understood but so that you cannot possibly be misunderstood.

Would you please explore the provenance of this family of sayings?

Quote Investigator: The Roman educator Quintilian (Marcus Fabius Quintilianus) published a multi-volume work about rhetoric titled “Institutio Oratoria” (“Institutes of Oratory”) around the year 95 CE. Quintilian discussed strategies of persuasion. Here is a passage from book 8 chapter 2 translated into English by scholar Harold Edgeworth Butler. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1922, The Institutio Oratoria of Quintilian With an English Translation by H. E. Butler (Harold Edgeworth Butler, Professor of Latin in London University), Volume 3 of 4, Book 8, Chapter 2, Quote Page 210 and 211, William Heinemann, London. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

For we must never forget that the attention of the judge is not always so keen that he will dispel obscurities without assistance, and bring the light of his intelligence to bear on the dark places of our speech. On the contrary, he will have many other thoughts to distract him unless what we say is so clear that our words will thrust themselves into his mind even when he is not giving us his attention, just as the sunlight forces itself upon the eyes.

Therefore our aim must be not to put him in a position to understand our argument, but to force him to understand it. Consequently we shall frequently repeat anything which we think the judge has failed to take in as he should.

Below is the key phrase in its original Latin form:[ref] 1922, The Institutio Oratoria of Quintilian With an English Translation by H. E. Butler (Harold Edgeworth Butler, Professor of Latin in London University), Volume 3 of 4, Book 8, Chapter 2, Quote Page 210 and 211, William Heinemann, London. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

Quare non, ut intelligere possit, sed, ne omnino possit non intelligere, curandum.

QI believes that Quintilian’s statement was the seed which produced the efflorescence of sayings under examination. For example, in 1807 James Beattie who was a Professor of Moral Philosophy and Logic at Marischal College in Scotland published “Elements of Moral Science”. Beattie cited Quintilian when he presented his own version of the saying:[ref] 1807, Elements of Moral Science by James Beattie (Professor of Moral Philosophy and Logic in the Marischal College, and University of Aberdeen), Volume 2 of 2, Second Edition, Part 4, Chapter 1, Section 2, Quote Page 283, Printed for William Creech; Edinburgh and T. Cadell and W. Davies, London. (Verified with scans) [/ref]

We should study, says Quintilian, not only to be understood in what we speak or write, but to make it impossible for the attentive to misunderstand us.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Evidence

Carl Sagan? Marcello Truzzi? Pierre-Simon Laplace? David Hume? Benjamin Bayly? Elihu Palmer? William Craig Brownlee? F. B. Barton? William Denton? Ely Vaughan Zollars? Joseph Rinn? James Oberg? Arthur C. Clarke?

Dear Quote Investigator: Tabloid newspapers have printed remarkable claims about alien abductions, mischievous ghosts, bigfoot sightings, and other anomalies. Skeptics have countered these reports by stating that the evidence is inadequate. Here are two versions of a pertinent adage:

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.

This saying has been attributed to astronomer Carl Sagan, sociologist Marcello Truzzi, and mathematician Pierre-Simon Laplace. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: These sayings form a natural family although the vocabulary and phrasing varies. The following overview with dates shows the evolution:

1708: These matters being very extraordinary, will require a very extraordinary proof (Benjamin Bayly)

1738: As it is a matter of an extraordinary kind, it is but reasonable in us to require extraordinary evidence for it

1740: Every man has a right to demand extraordinary evidence for any extraordinary fact (Arthur Ashley Sykes)

1741: Assertions so contrary to fact … require some extraordinary proof to gain our credit and assent (John Straight)

1748: A wise man, therefore, proportions his belief to the evidence (David Hume)

1748: No testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the testimony be of such a kind, that its falsehood would be more miraculous, than the fact, which it endeavours to establish (David Hume)

1800: Miracles being very unusual and extraordinary facts, they require very strong evidence to support them (Beilby Porteus)

1804: I ought to have extraordinary evidence, to induce me to believe extraordinary things (Elihu Palmer)

1810: Plus un fait est extraordinaire, plus il a besoin d’être appuyé de fortes preuves (Pierre-Simon Laplace)

1810: The more extraordinary a fact, the more it needs to be supported by strong proofs (Translation of Pierre-Simon Laplace)

1824: Extraordinary claims can rest only on extraordinary proofs (William Craig Brownlee)

1826: For extraordinary facts, we should have extraordinary evidence

1852: Extraordinary claims should be backed by extraordinary proof

1854: An extraordinary, an unnatural event, demands extraordinary evidence (F. B. Barton)

1871: Extraordinary evidence is needed to establish extraordinary facts (William Denton)

1895: Extraordinary claims always call for extraordinary proof (Ely Vaughn Zollars)

1906: Wonderful phenomena need wonderful evidence in their support (Joseph F. Rinn)

1975: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof (Marcello Truzzi)

1976: Extraordinary proof is necessary for extraordinary claims (Kendrick Frazier credited Marcello Truzzi)

1977: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence (Carl Sagan)

1979: Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary proof. (James Oberg)

Below are selected citations in chronological order.

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There Is One Thing In This World That Money Can’t Buy, The Wag Of a Dog’s Tail

Josh Billings? Henry Wheeler Shaw? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A dog wagging its tail energetically produces joy in my heart. The dog is usually expressing genuine enthusiasm. A well-known writer once said that money could not buy a wagging tail. Would you please help me to identify the writer and find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In the 1870s popular humorist Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw) published an annual series called “Farmer’s Allminax” which parodied the long-lived periodical “Farmers’ Almanac”. In 1879 Billings published a collection under the tile “Old Probability: Perhaps Rain—Perhaps Not”. He included an illustration (shown above) of an unhappy and uncooperative dog resisting the tug of a leash in front of a store called “J. Barkis & Co.” for dog fanciers. The script caption employed intentional misspellings. Here is a transcription followed by a version using standard spelling. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1879, Old Probability: Perhaps Rain—Perhaps Not by Josh Billings, Section Year: 1872, Quote Page 4, G. W. Carleton & Company, New York. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

I thank the Lord that thare iz one thing in this world that money kant buy, and that iz,— the wag ov a dogs tail.
Yure Unkle, Josh Billings

I thank the Lord that there is one thing in this world that money can’t buy, and that is,— the wag of a dog’s tail.
Your Uncle, Josh Billings

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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The 3D Web Will Rapidly Be the Dominant Thing and Everyone Will Have an Avatar

Philip Rosedale? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The technology needed to implement virtual reality (VR) has been under development for decades. The company Linden Lab launched a popular virtual world called “Second Life” (SL) in 2003. The avatar of each user could move though a wide variety of 3D digital environments and interact with digital objects and other avatars.

Yet, this virtual world differed from immersive VR because the imagery was displayed via conventional screens and not via VR goggles. The founder of “Second Life” was convinced that soon everyone would have an avatar, and virtual worlds would surpass the web to become dominant. Would you please help me to find a citation for his comments?

Quote Investigator: In 2007 “The Guardian” newspaper of London published “Today Second Life, Tomorrow the World” which contained an interview with Philip Rosedale, the founder of Linden Lab and “Second Life”. He believed that once people had learned how to use “Second Life” it would become a preferred realm for communication and collaboration. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 2007 May 17, The Guardian, Today Second Life, tomorrow the world (Interview conducted by Kate Bulkley of Philip Rosedale, the founder of the virtual world Second Life), Quote Page 5, London, England. (ProQuest)[/ref]

The big problem is that it takes a long time to figure out how to do things in SL. Once you get over that, I think SL is a smoother road than the web itself, so taking that average of the four hours it takes now for people to understand SL down to 40 minutes will move us from 10% retention of users to more than 50% and then the 3D web will rapidly be the dominant thing and everyone will have an avatar.

Below is one additional citation and the conclusion.

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My Father Had a Profound Influence On Me—He Was a Lunatic!

Spike Milligan? Michael Parkinson? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A popular comedian once asserted that his father had a major influence on him. Normally, this type of claim is followed by effusive praise of the father. But the comedian employed a gleeful paraprosdokian by saying that his father was a lunatic. Would you please help me to find out who crafted this jest?

Quote Investigator: The Irish-English comedian Spike Milligan appeared several times on the U.K talk show of Michael Parkinson. In 1982 the host published “The Best of Parkinson” containing extracts from the most memorable interviews of the show including Milligan’s remarks about his father. Boldface added to excepts by QI:[ref] 1982, The Best of Parkinson by Michael Parkinson, Chapter: Spike Milligan, Quote Page 109, Pavilion Books Limited, London in Association with Michael Joseph Limited. (Verified with scans) [/ref]

My father had a profound influence on me—he was a lunatic! He went bald when he was very young, about seventeen, and so he used to wear a wig which in those days looked like shredded GPO directories.

Below are two additional selected citations in chronological order.

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I Prayed That God Would Emancipate Me, But It Was Not Till I Prayed With My Legs That I Was Emancipated

Frederick Douglass? Richard Theodore Greener? Samuel Byron Brittan? Rufus K. Noyes? James Clear? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: You must be willing to take constructive actions to resolve your own problems. If you rely solely on the help of others you will be disheartened. Also, if you depend solely on supernatural intervention you will be disappointed.

The great orator Frederick Douglass provided a cogent anecdote. When he was held in bondage he frequently prayed for freedom. Yet, he only achieved freedom when he took action and prayed with his legs, i.e., he successfully ran away.

I am having trouble finding solid citations for this tale. Would you please help?

Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared within a speech delivered by Frederick Douglass in 1859 at the annual meeting of the “Friends of Human Progress” held in Waterloo, New York. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1859, Proceedings of the Yearly Meeting of the Friends of Human Progress, Held at Waterloo, Seneca Co., N.Y., the 3d, 4th and 5th of June, 1859, Second Day, (Description of speech by Frederick Douglass), Quote Page 8, Press of C. W. Hebard & Company, Rochester, New York. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

We want practical religion—religion that will do something. When I commenced praying with my legs, I felt the answer coming down.

See the 1876 citation further below for a pertinent excerpt from a later speech by Frederick Douglass. Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “I Prayed That God Would Emancipate Me, But It Was Not Till I Prayed With My Legs That I Was Emancipated”

Any Fool Can Know. The Point Is To Understand

Albert Einstein? Ernest Kinoy? Gotthold Ephraim Lessing? James L. Christian? George F. Simmons? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Comprehending a subject requires more than memorizing a set of facts and formulas. The famous physicist Albert Einstein supposedly made the following pertinent remark:

Any fool can know. The point is to understand.

I am skeptical of this attribution because I have been unable to find a citation. Would you please explore the provenance of this remark?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Albert Einstein wrote or spoke this statement. It is not listed in the comprehensive reference “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein” from Princeton University Press.[ref] 2010, The Ultimate Quotable Einstein, Edited by Alice Calaprice, (The quotation is absent), Princeton University Press, Princeton, New Jersey. (Verified with hardcopy) [/ref]

In 1973 the NBC television network broadcast a program titled “Dr. Einstein Before Lunch” featuring a fictional version of Albert Einstein.[ref] 1973 May 21, New York Times, TV: Father of Relativity by Howard Thompson, (This article describes the NBC program, but does not contain the quotation), Quote Page 67, New York. (ProQuest)[/ref] During the drama a supernatural being visited Einstein shortly before his death. The visitor offered to give Einstein an equation representing the breakthrough theory in physics that Einstein had been attempting to discover for many years. Einstein asked about the mathematical and experimental underpinnings for the derivation of the equation, but the visitor did not provide any scientific justification; instead, the visitor said “I can make you know!” The Einstein character rejected the offer.

An excerpt of the television script by Ernest Kinoy appeared in the 1990 textbook “Philosophy: An Introduction to The Art of Wondering” by James L. Christian. Ellipses occurred in the reprinted script. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1990, Philosophy: An Introduction to The Art of Wondering by James L. Christian (Rancho Santiago College, Santa Ana, California), Fifth Edition, Chapter 1-2: The Spirit of Philosophy, Quote Page 34, Holt, Rinehart and Winston, Fort Worth, Texas. (Verified with scans) [/ref]

EINSTEIN: No thank you.

VISITOR: But Doctor . . . I offer you what you have been searching for for thirty years. I offer you the . . . the answer of your soul’s question. I offer you the . . . confirmation of your faith.

EINSTEIN: Any fool can KNOW! The point is . . . to understand! To follow the thought . . . to build a structure of theory and mathematics which is . . . True! That is science . . .

QI believes that the quotation originated with Ernest Kinoy who penned the line for a fictional Einstein within a drama televised in 1973.

James L. Christian published several editions of “Philosophy: An Introduction to The Art of Wondering”. The script excerpt containing the quotation first appeared in the fifth edition in 1990; it did not appear the fourth edition in 1986.[ref] 1986, Philosophy: An Introduction to The Art of Wondering by James L. Christian (Rancho Santiago College, Santa Ana, California), Fourth Edition, (The quotation is absent), Holt, Rinehart and Winston, New York. (Verified with scans) [/ref]

Thanks to top German quotation expert Gerald Krieghofer who located the crucial 1990 citation containing the script excerpt. His article in German is available here.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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