Quote Origin: There Are Two Classes of People in the World; Those Who Divide People into Two Classes and Those Who Do Not

Neil deGrasse Tyson? Robert Benchley? Kenneth Boulding? Ross F. Papprill? Groucho Marx? Jeremy Bentham? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: I enjoy humor based on clever self-referential statements, and a great example is the following: There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who …

Quote Origin: Most Conversations Are Simply Monologues Delivered in the Presence of a Witness

Mark Twain? Margaret Millar? Elizabeth P. O’Connor? Rebecca West? Leo Buscaglia? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The following entertaining remark is often attributed to Mark Twain: Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses. I have also seen these words ascribed to the award-winning mystery writer Margaret Millar. Could you determine who …

Quote Origin: Dance Like Nobody’s Watching

Mark Twain? Satchel Paige? William Purkey? Susanna Clark? Richard Leigh? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The following words are attributed to a variety of people including Mark Twain, Satchel Paige, and William Purkey: Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching, and live like it’s heaven on …

Quote Origin: Fanatic: One Who Can’t Change His Mind and Won’t Change the Subject

Winston Churchill? Evan Esar? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The following humorous definition is often attributed to the statesman Winston Churchill: A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject. Could you explore the accuracy of this ascription? Reply from Quote Investigator: There is some evidence that Winston Churchill employed …

Quote Origin: The Covers of This Book Are Too Far Apart

Ambrose Bierce? Alan Le May? Jack Benny? Mark Twain? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The increasing popularity of ebooks is threatening to make one of my favorite quotations obsolete. The wonderful humorist Ambrose Bierce was asked to evaluate a lengthy soporific tome and according to legend he handed in a devastating and hilarious one-line review: …

Quote Origin: The Only “Ism” in which Hollywood Believes Is Plagiarism

Dorothy Parker? Apocryphal? Question for Quote Investigator: From Fascism, Marxism, and Anarchism to Consumerism, Materialism, and Postmodernism the world has been infatuated by and convulsed by “isms”. The famous wit Dorothy Parker reportedly spoke the following line while she was writing screenplays in Hollywood: The only “ism” Hollywood really believes in is plagiarism. Did she …

Quote Origin: You Shall Either Die Upon the Gallows or of the Pox

Samuel Foote? 4th Earl of Sandwich? James Quin? John Wilkes? William Gladstone? Benjamin Disraeli? Question for Quote Investigator: The sharpest and funniest retort I know of was said in response to a harsh insult: You, sir, will certainly either die upon the gallows or of a social disease. That depends, sir, upon whether I embrace …

Quote Origin: I Wish I Was As Sure of Any One Thing As He is of Everything

Lord Melbourne? William Windham? Benjamin Disraeli? Sydney Smith? William Lamb? Thomas B. Macaulay? Question for Quote Investigator: Each of us has encountered an individual who with highhanded convictions presents an answer to every question. There is a famous witticism aimed at a person of this type: I only wish that I was as cocksure of …

Quote Origin: Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Already Taken

Oscar Wilde? Thomas Merton? Gilbert Perreira? Menards? America Ferrera? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: I have spent hours trying to determine whether Oscar Wilde wrote the following as commonly claimed: Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. I have not found a single good citation. What do you think? Reply from Quote Investigator: There …

Quote Origin: What Did Groucho Marx Do When Someone Switched On a Television?

Groucho Marx? Apocryphal? Question for Quote Investigator: Groucho Marx became famous on Broadway before moving on to starring roles in Hollywood. His comical skills and adaptability also allowed him to master radio and television. Yet, reportedly one of his sharpest remarks playfully disparaged TV: I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on, …