Quote Origin: Say Anything You Like About Me, But Spell My Name Right

George M. Cohan? P. T. Barnum? Mae West? Elinor Glyn? Babe Ruth? Damon Runyon? James J. Johnston? Charley Murphy? Max Schmeling? Walter Winchell? Oscar Wilde? Samuel Johnson? Ed Sullivan?

Question for Quote Investigator: A person once planned to write an article or book containing derogatory material about a celebrity. The unruffled response of the celebrity to this prospect was surprising. Here are three versions:

  1. I don’t care what you say about me as long as you spell my name right.
  2. I don’t care how much you pan me, but please spell the name correctly.
  3. Boost me or knock me; it doesn’t mean a thing. Just make sure you spell my name right.

This notion has been credited to Broadway musical icon George M. Cohan, showman P. T. Barnum, actress Mae West, baseball slugger Babe Ruth, and others. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in several U.S. newspapers in 1888. The line was delivered by P. T. Barnum who was a founder of Barnum & Bailey Circus. He also operated a museum filled with curiosities and hoaxes. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

P. T. Barnum was once interviewed by a woman who told him that she was writing a book, and that it would contain something disagreeable about him. “No matter, madam,” was his reply, “say anything you like about me, but spell my name right — P. T. B-a-r-n-u-m, P. T. Barnum — and I’ll be pleased anyway.” The blackmailer retired in confusion.

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Quote Origin: I Will Hear Those Glances That You Think Are Silent

Jean Racine? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The 17th-century French dramatist Jean Racine once presented a scenario in which a powerful emperor wished to split apart two lovers. The emperor ordered one lover to banish the other without revealing that the rejection was occurring under coercion. The emperor further stated that he would hide and carefully monitor the meeting of the couple. He employed the following ominous and memorable line:

I will hear those glances that you think are silent.

Would you please help me to find the play containing this scene?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This scene occurs in the tragedy “Britannicus” by Jean Racine which was first performed in 1669. The leader Neron desired to sever the relationship between Junie and Britannicus. He ordered Junie to break with her beloved. Here are the key lines spoken by Neron to Junie from a 1713 edition of the play. Boldface added to excerpts from QI:1

Caché prés de ces lieux, je vous verrai, Madame;
Renfermez vôtre amour dans le fond de vôtre ame,
Vous n’aurez point pour moi de langages secrets.
J’entendrai des regards que vous croirez muets;
Et sa perte sera l’infaillible salaire
D’un geste, ou d’un soûpir échappé pour lui plaire.

A translation of Racine’s play into English by Robert Henderson and Paul Landis appeared under the publishing banner of The Modern Library in 1931. These were the key lines:2

I shall be near, behind a curtain, lady.
Shut up your love within your inmost heart,
For I shall miss no secret words you say.
Looks that you think are silent, I will hear,
And he shall have his death for a reward
If any little move or sigh betray you.

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Quote Origin: Paragraphing Consists of Stroking a Platitude Until It Purrs Like an Epigram

Don Marquis? Christopher Morley? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Crafting a bright witticism or a clever aphorism is a difficult task especially for a writer who is facing a tight deadline. One strategy is described as follows:

Stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.

This remark has been ascribed to Don Marquis who was a popular columnist and storyteller based in New York City. Would you please explore this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Don Marquis wrote a daily column called “The Sun Dial” for “The Evening Sun” of New York for more than a decade. He also wrote for other papers such as “The New York Herald Tribune” and the “Buffalo Evening News”. However, some of his writings have not yet been digitized which impedes research.

The earliest match located by QI appeared as a short item in a Hutchinson, Kansas newspaper in February 1921. The term “paragraphing” meant composing stylish and entertaining paragraphs for periodicals. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

Don Marquis who really should know, says the art of newspaper paragraphing “consists of stroking a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.”

This citation provides indirect evidence. And QI currently believes Marquis is the most likely creator of the saying. A matching expression occurred directly in a column by Marquis by 1925, and he sometimes repeated sayings in his columns. Interestingly, the saying was also used by his friend and fellow journalist Christopher Morley who did not credit Marquis.

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Quote Origin: I Don’t Pay Them To Come Over; I Pay Them To Go Away

Charlie Sheen? Don Simpson? Dashiell Hammett? Adela Rogers St. Johns? Clark Gable? Charles Fleming? Stephen J. Cannell? Susan Kelly? Germaine Greer? Ian Ayres? Joy Fielding? Jack Nicholson?

Question for Quote Investigator: Attractive, wealthy, and famous people sometimes obtain intimate services via the underground commercial market. This behavior is surprising because these individuals should be able to easily find willing partners. Here are three versions of an explanation:

  • I don’t pay them to come over; I pay them to go away.
  • I don’t pay them for carnal encounters. I pay them to leave.
  • You don’t pay a call girl to do what she does. You pay her to leave afterward.

This saying has been ascribed to the actor Charlie Sheen, the movie producer Don Simpson, and the mystery writer Dashiell Hammett, but I have not found any solid citations. Would you please explore the provenance of this statement?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the 1978 memoir “Love, Laughter and Tears: My Hollywood Story” by the journalist Adela Rogers St. Johns. A chapter of the work discussed the matinée idol Clark Gable who died in 1960. St. Johns claimed that she was surprised to learn that Gable employed high-priced prostitutes, and she asked him about his motivations. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

His attitude was fairly simple, as he explained it to me one day when he confessed that the lady I had seen leaving was, indeed, an expensive import from Madam Frances’ establishment.

“Why would you do a thing like that,” I said, “when all you have to do is whistle? Or grin?”

“That’s why,” he said. “I can pay her to go away. The others stay around, want a big romance, movie lovemaking. I do not want to be the world’s great lover and I don’t like being put on that spot.”

The viewpoint depicted above matched the statement under investigation, and the words matched the second half of the statement.

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Quote Origin: All Comedy Is Tragedy, If You Only Look Deep Enough Into It

Thomas Hardy? John Ruskin? William Stearns Davis? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Comedy and tragedy are sometimes intertwined. The prominent English novelist Thomas Hardy has received credit for the following remark:

Comedy is tragedy, if you only look deep enough.

This statement has also been ascribed to the influential English art critic John Ruskin. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in a letter Thomas Hardy sent to John Addington Symonds in 1889. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

I often begin a story with the intention of making it brighter & gayer than usual; but the question of conscience soon comes in; & it does not seem right, even in novels, to wilfully belie one’s own views. All comedy, is tragedy, if you only look deep enough into it.

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Quote Origin: The Words Have Just Crawled Down My Sleeve and Come Out On the Page

Joan Baez? Phillip L. Berman? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: An artist who is crafting a powerful song, poem, or story may feel a lack of control. The mind and body are simply operating as a channel for the emergence of the work. A songwriter once made this point by saying something like:

The lyrics moved down my arm and came out on the page.

Would you please help me to find out precisely what was said and who said it?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The activist singer-songwriter Joan Baez wrote a statement of this type in the 1985 book “The Courage of Conviction” which contained essays from a variety of influential figures. The editor Phillip L. Berman explained the blueprint for the collection:1

I invited prominent men and women from all walks of life to answer the questions “What do you believe?” and “How, emphasizing your occupation(s), have you put those beliefs into action?”

The essay by Joan Baez discussed her motivations and her inspirations:2

For me, there is no separation between my spiritual and metaphysical beliefs and my ideological and political beliefs. When I’m trying to decide what direction to take in my life, for example, I go to a Quaker meeting and wait for direction—or perhaps it would be better to say search for direction.
. . .

Whether it is political action or artistic creation, it must be the same process. It seems to me that of those songs that have been any good, I have not had much to do with the writing of them. The words have just crawled down my sleeve and come out on the page.

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Quote Origin: Whoever First Ate an Oyster Was a Brave Soul

Jonathan Swift? Benjamin Franklin? Shirley Chisholm? Thomas Moffett? John Ward? King James I of England? Thomas Fuller? John Gay? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: During a commencement address I heard the following vivid advice offered to students:

Be as bold as the first man or woman to eat an oyster.

Apparently, the famous Irish literary figure Jonathan Swift and the prominent U.S. statesman Benjamin Franklin both praised the courage of the gustatorial explorer who originally sampled the oyster. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Several prominent historical figures penned versions of this sentiment. Thomas Moffett was an influential English physician who died in 1604. He authored a book titled “Healths improvement: or, Rules comprizing and discovering the nature, method, and manner of preparing all sorts of food used in this nation” which appeared in an edition dated 1655. Moffett commented on the boldness of first person who ate an oyster. Spelling was not standardized when his book was published. The word “oysters” was printed as “oisters”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

. . . onely Oisters of all fish are good raw (yet he was no Coward that first ventered on them) . . .

The diary of the Reverend John Ward included a comment about oysters. Ward was vicar of Stratford-upon-Avon in England, and the diary entry containing the following was written circa 1661. Ward credited King James I of England who had died in 1625:2

King James said hee was a valiant man that durst first eat oysters.

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Quote Origin: In the Short-Run, the Market Is a Voting Machine, But in the Long-Run, the Market Is a Weighing Machine

Benjamin Graham? Warren Buffett? Ronald A. McEachern? Ben Bidwell? John C. Bogle? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A brilliant metaphorical framework for understanding the stock market can be summarized with the following cogent remark:

In the short-run, the stock market is a voting machine. Yet, in the long-run, it is a weighing machine.

Each purchase and sale of a security impinges on its perceived value. These transactions are similar to votes which increase or decrease the stock price. Transitory news and emotions may influence the price in the short run; however, in the long run, the stream of earnings or losses of a company cannot be ignored. Clarity regarding the fundamentals of a business emerges over time, and the market begins to properly weigh its value.

The pithy statement above has been credited to the famous value investor Benjamin Graham and to his well-known acolyte Warren Buffett. Unfortunately, I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The primary elements of this metaphorical framework were presented in the 1934 book “Security Analysis” by Benjamin Graham and David Dodd. But the precise remark above did not appear in the book.

The earliest close match located by QI was communicated by Warren Buffett during an interview in 1973. QI believes Buffett deserves credit for this saying although he was largely refining the insights presented by Graham and Dodd.

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Quote Origin: A Woman Has To Be Twice as Good as a Man To Go Half as Far

Fannie Hurst? Charlotte Whitton? Joan Lowell? Jack Lewis? Lewis Browne? Myrtelle L. Gunsul? Lilias F. Evans? Anna Judge Vetters Levy? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Fannie Hurst was a popular novelist who was born in 1885. She believed that women faced greater obstacles to professional success than men. Apparently, she employed the following expression:

A woman must be twice as good as a man to get half as far.

Do you know whether she coined this remark? Would you please explore its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Fannie Hurst did help to popularize this statement by using it on multiple occasions. For example, in 1943 she attended the National Conference of Women sponsored by “The New York Times” and said the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

Fannie Hurst, novelist, deplored comparative lack of leadership that women have shown through past ages. “Our much vaunted strength is largely wordage,” she said. “A woman still has to be twice as good as a man in order to get half as far.”

Yet, Hurst did not craft this saying; it was already in circulation. Interestingly, in 1927 an analogous expression was applied to black boxers by a promoter who was quoted in a Nebraska newspaper:2

All of which leads Genial Jack Lewis to remark, with justification, that a Negro pug must be twice as good as a white fist-fighter to get half as far.

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Quote Origin: The Test of a First-Rate Intelligence Is the Ability To Hold Two Opposed Ideas in the Mind at the Same Time

F. Scott Fitzgerald? Lionel Trilling? Katherine A. Powers? H. Maynard Smith? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Our experiences in the world are often complex, ambiguous, and ill-defined. We must be able to accommodate conflicting hypotheses. Here is a pertinent adage:

The truest sign of intelligence is the ability to entertain two contradictory ideas simultaneously.

A notion like this has been credited to the prominent literary figure F. Scott Fitzgerald, author of “The Great Gatsby”. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In February 1936 “Esquire” magazine published F. Scott Fitzgerald’s essay “The Crack-Up” which contained the quotation. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

Before I go on with this short history let me make a general observation—the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. This philosophy fitted on to my early adult life, when I saw the improbable, the implausible, often the “impossible” come true.

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