Ernest Hemingway? Mark Twain? Luke McLuke? Lydia DeVilbiss? Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.? Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.? Frederick B. Wilcox? Abigail Van Buren? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: While searching the twitter database I encountered the following two similar jokes: (1) Humans need two years to learn to speak and sixty years to learn to shut …
Tag Archives: Mark Twain
Quote Origin: Time Is What Keeps Everything From Happening At Once
Albert Einstein? Ray Cummings? Mark Twain? Arthur C. Clarke? John Archibald Wheeler? Arthur Power Dudden? Susan Sontag? Question for Quote Investigator: Albert Einstein has received credit for a humorous remark about time: The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. Would you please explore the provenance of this quip? Reply …
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Quote Origin: Fame Is a Vapor; Popularity an Accident; Riches Take Wings
Mark Twain? Horace Greeley? N. D. Hillis? Question for Quote Investigator: Two interesting quotations begin with the same phrases but diverge to emphasize different ideas of impermanence: Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings, those who cheer today will …
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Quote Origin: My Idea of a Gentleman Is He Who Can Play a Cornet and Won’t
Oscar Wilde? Mark Twain? Frank Fiest? Will Rogers? Walter Armstrong? Herman Lindauer? William M. Lewis? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: What do the following musical instruments have in common: cornet, ukulele, saxophone, bagpipes, accordion, and banjo? Each of these instruments has a distinctive sound that is unpleasant to some listeners providing inspiration for a family …
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Quote Origin: If There Is a God, He Is a Malign Thug
Mark Twain? Clara Clemens? Justin Kaplan? Harlan Ellison? Darrell Schweitzer? Apocryphal? Question for Quote Investigator: Famous author Mark Twain was grief-stricken when his daughter Susy died at age 24. The following expression of bitter despair has been ascribed to him: If there is a God, he is a malign thug. Oddly, no one has presented …
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Quote Origin: Never Argue With a Fool, Onlookers May Not Be Able To Tell the Difference
Mark Twain? Biblical Proverb? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Conflict on social media is now endemic, but it is not really new. Acrimonious exchanges between participants during the primeval days of online forums were known as “flame wars”. Famed humorist Mark Twain has received credit for a germane cautionary remark: Never argue with a …
Quote Origin: It Ain’t What You Don’t Know That Gets You Into Trouble. It’s What You Know for Sure That Just Ain’t So
Mark Twain? Josh Billings? Artemus Ward? Kin Hubbard? Will Rogers? Edwin Howard Armstrong? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The Oscar-winning 2015 film “The Big Short” begins with a display of the following statement: It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. The …
Quote Origin: They Eked Out a Precarious Livelihood by Taking in Each Other’s Washing
Mark Twain? William Morris? Edward Dicey? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Skeptics have questioned the economic viability of small isolated or insular communities by derisively envisioning rudimentary economies based on simple tasks, e.g., individuals would wash clothes for one another. This notion has been credited to humorist Mark Twain and socialist activist William Morris. In …
Quote Origin: This World Is the Lunatic Asylum of the Universe
Mark Twain? Thomas Jefferson? Voltaire? Edward Young? George Bernard Shaw? Laird MacKenzie? Elsie McCormick? Bertrand Russell? Kurt Vonnegut? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Several thinkers have offered an anguished explanation for the dangerously disordered state of the world. Here are four versions: This notion has been credited to Mark Twain, Voltaire, Thomas Jefferson, George …
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Quote Origin: To My Embarrassment I Was Born in Bed with a Lady
Mark Twain? Groucho Marx? Wilson Mizner? Sydney J. Harris? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: A funny man once said that he was embarrassed to discover that his behavior had always been scandalous; he had been born in bed with a lady. This line has been connected to Mark Twain, Groucho Marx, and Wilson Mizner. Would …
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